Long Distance Relationship, Broke Up, Now She Moved Here and Affectionate

[justaman99]

So I need some help. I'll tell the story.

 

We met through a blind date of sorts almost a year ago to the day. She was living on the East Coast but visiting her family here on the West Coast. We spent every minute together and really connected.

 

She went back home to finish her work and had plans on moving back to California but the time was unknown. I first heard Dec, of 06, then it became Feb then it became later.

 

Anyway, we talked and texted and emailed everyday. Until she decided to come to CA to hang out with me for just one day. This made me feel like we really had something and we did.

 

Then in November I flew over there for Thanksgiving and had an absolutely great time. Went to her cousin's wedding, spent some real time together. All perfect.

 

She then in December flew back to CA to spend the Holiday with her family. We met each other's relatives and it went perfect.

 

I flew out there in February. Spent 2 weeks with her and again it was perfect. I feel we are perfect for each other and she said the same.

 

After my last visit I grew frustrated with the uncertainty of when or even if she was going to be able to come back to CA. She failed a couple opportuties with school and work that she missed deadlines for so she moved to try to get into East Coast schools. This told me I needed to let it go. She was not happy, and said I should have waited.

 

This was the hardest thing for me as I really do love her and im in love her. We talked about the future together. The future all the way until our last days but the actions didn't line up. I couldn't do LDR for 5 more years.

 

So I made efforts with my work to be in a more flexible position. Out contact grew less and less to the point where she said "There's nothing to talk about" and "It's over".

 

6 weeks ago she calls and says she's moving back to CA. Out of the blue. I said well I am very happy so let's figure this out. Once again she said "there's nothing to talk about" "it's over".

 

So I let it go and said my goodbyes. This was very hard because now the love of my life was 10 minutes from me and she didn't want to try us in the real world which is something we both agreed we needed to do.

 

Then last week she calls me at 10am Sunday. Invites me to breakfast. We talk for an hour and have an absolutely great time, as we always did together. We both were on our way to spend the day 20 minutes away (where my mom lives and her sister, same area) so we played tag in cars on our way out. She jumps out of her car at a stop light and gives me a CD and says I should burn it, and I want it back tonight.

 

That night she calls me and says she wants to go to dinner. Of course I say yes and we go to our special sushi place where we agree it's the best we've ever had. We have a great time. Afterwards we go back to my place. Talk about life, she is constantly throwing me compliments about how good I look, how she loves all the things I do and know. It made me a little uncomfortable. I walk her to her car which it 20 feet down the street from me, she says I'll give you a lift home. Endearing of course. She calls me on her cell and asks a question about where I put the CD. It was right there I know it was, maybe an excuse to hear my voice.

 

The next night she gives me a wake up text to check out the lunar eclipse at 2:00am.

 

From all I can gather it's back to normal and I need to ask her straight up why she's back in my life with such affection?

 

Can you ladies help me understand a little bit? She truly is the love of my life but I don't want to be dragged along or a go to guy if she's bored and lonely.

 

-Justaman

[FrequentFlyer]

Wow.

 

I didn't think I'd ever see a "plan B" guy come through!

 

What I mean is, maybe she had her eye on someone else that fell through, and you were "always going to be there" because you are carrying the torch for this woman.

 

Perhaps.

 

She may be,as you wrote, "the love of YOUR life." Has she proclaimed the same about you?

[justaman99]

Very possible but I have never been a Plan B guy. Women have always been easy to come by and they always call me back for a second date, ok 98% of the time. Not to sound like I have an ego but I am tall, very attractive, smart, very funny and successful. I can cook better than most people, fix pretty much anything and I have an extremely vibrant creative side. I have some pretty good qualities.

 

All my ex girlfriends have always come back to try and "work things out". Maybe they go to a plan B guy then realize it's no good and come back to Plan A.

 

A real connection is not so easy to find and that's what I want and we have. I think it's more likely she's realizing what she's going to lose if she keeps this up. She has been broken by her past relationships, guys cheated, mistreated and left her so I think she was just protecting herself. A mentality that it's going to happen anyway so I might as well stop this now. But her latest actions have her coming closer and closer with each passing day. I guess we'll see where it goes.

 

You have a good point about the always going to be there, once I backed off and became distant she started coming around being more forward than ever before.

 

She did say we were perfect for each other, planned how we were going to be together, take steps to get closer and eventually get married and all these great things I never thought about with any other women before. I never proclaimed the love of my life to her but that is how I feel and I am protecting that until she comes around on her own.