I cheated on my boyfriend and I'm lost!!!

[aishley]

:(So I have this boyfriend and I care about him a lot. "He's perfect" I thought.

Well I also have this ex that I dated for 2 years and I really thought we would spend the rest of our lives together.

Well I cheated on my boyfriend twice and then I decided to tell him about it. But I was scared and only told him about one of the times and left it at that. After that he started getting really controlling and would get really mad if I hung out with someone else other than him. But can you blame him?

Well now he has gone off to bootcamp and I'm in college. NO COMMUNICATION. Well the week prior to leaving for college I cheated on him again with "the ex". I really thought long and hard about what I wanted. I realized that I didn't want to be with "the ex". Our relationship was a wreck because he lied and cheated and it seems like I'm turning into that. That's not who I want to be.

After thinking about it for a long time I realized that I really DO want to be with my current boyfriend. And i know that the controlling thing is my fault and I brought it on myself.

I've been hanging out with "the ex" and I had a long talk with him. I flat out told him that I didn't want anything other than to be his friend. I've caught myself alone with him sometimes and I haven't had any temptation to cheat. I think I'm over him and ready to be with my current boyfriend.

I really don't know how I should bring up the cheating thing because I really want to tell my boyfriend about it. I want to be honest and I don't want to cheat again. I've got a long time to think about how I want to do it because he doesn't get back from bootcamp and tech school for a while.

help please!!

[dazednConffuzed]

I'm no relationship expert but first I would take some serious time to ask yourself what you really want out of a relationship right now. If you value your relationship with your current S.O. so much, why would you cheat on him not once but three times? Are you sure that you do not still have feelings for your ex? Just remember that it is unfair to your current boyfriend to be in a relationship with him when your heart is in another place.

 

If you are certain about your feelings for your current boyfriend then he definitely needs to know. Just tell him the truth about why the things that happened happened, and tell him how you now feel about everything.

 

Just know that he might not be so sure about remaining in the relationship, if he feels strongly for you this news will probably be hard to handle. It will take a long time to rebuild the lost trust in your relationship but it is possible to make things work if you prove to him that you are now 100% committed.

 

Hope this helps

[Cobra_X30]

:(So I have this boyfriend and I care about him a lot. "He's perfect" I thought.

Well I also have this ex that I dated for 2 years and I really thought we would spend the rest of our lives together.

Well I cheated on my boyfriend twice and then I decided to tell him about it. But I was scared and only told him about one of the times and left it at that. After that he started getting really controlling and would get really mad if I hung out with someone else other than him. But can you blame him?

Well now he has gone off to bootcamp and I'm in college. NO COMMUNICATION.

 

Look, You jumped into a new relationship before you were over your ex. Because of that you cheated on your boyfriend multiple times. Guys dont just get over that... its going to be an issue for the rest of your lives together... so you kinda already ruined your relationship. Actually the fact that you did it while he was in bootcamp will be all the more unforgivable. So, what kind of foundation are you planning to use to build a new relationship?

 

Your going off to college. Break up with you boyfriend as soon as you can and put this all behind you! Start new!

 

Remember not to jump into a new relationship before your over the last. You can recover from this episode. If you cheat on the next guy... you may not be salvagable!