Fun2BMe Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Almost two months ago I lent my sister money and ever since then she stopped calling. She used to call or email almost every day. Last week I got fed up and sent her an angry email about it. She said she felt bad because she hasn't been able to pay me back yet so she was avoiding me. I never asked for the money back and told her I didn't buy that excuse. That was last week and still she is avoiding me. So earlier tonight my other sister who I've told about this situation, emailed me that she found out through my sister's daughter that they recently started to get housecleaning services, and go on extensive shopping sprees. She also got a big promotion which my mom had told me about. I think she gets jealous that me and my other sister have a lot more than her, but it hurts me that she is now avoiding me for almost 2 months now over an insignificant amount of money that I know she can either pay back or knows I wouldn't mind if she didn't. I don't know what to do to get her to call again like before or to at least talk to me about it. Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
uniqueone Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 Don't feel so bad.....mine aren't there for me at all and never were. So, you have it better than some of us. You have one who is there for you and your other one was at some point and might be again sometime. I've literally been extremely depressed so much so that I didn't even care if I lived and I just wanted someone to talk to. I told my sister (via email) that I really wished I had family to talk to. I also told her how badly I was feeling. She told me that she has her own problems and how can I say that mine are more important. I told her that mine could be life and death. Know what she replied back: "I hope you choose life. I'll say a prayer for you." Be glad you have more than THAT. I would see if your mom or other sister could find out what is keeping her from contacting you but I would only do so if they'd do it in a way that wouldn't make it obvious that you'd asked about it. Does she know it's bothering you? Does she know that you know that she has more than enough money to pay you back? I suppose she could feel guilty because she's spending money when she knows that she owes it to you. Why is hearing from her so important to you when she's disregarding how YOU feel? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fun2BMe Posted August 31, 2007 Author Share Posted August 31, 2007 That's terrible, sorry to hear how your sister responded to your cry for help. I hope this was a long time ago and that you are feeling better now. I did email to my mom last week that I was upset she hasn't been contacting me and told her I think it's because she owes me money and I told her the amount. She said my sister had been griping to her about how she owes me money but hadn't told her how much, so then I thought maybe that really is the reason she's been avoiding me. My other sister also told her last week that I was upset she hadn't been talking to me but she still didn't initiate contact until she responded to my emails to her. My other sister called me today complaining about her so I got mad at her all over again and ended up sending her a mean email asking for my money and now I feel really guilty. If she really can't aford to pay me back right now even if it's due to her frivilous spending, then I know it will stress her out a lot but I wanted to hurt her for avoiding me. Now I feel so guilty like a mean older sister doing that to her younger sister, but I feel so hurt at how she could avoid me for what to me is a small amount of money. I have to remember to put myself in her shoes sometimes but I don't know how to figure out the real reason she's avoiding me, whether to believe her that it's because she feels guilty about repaying me. I don't know and feel so bad about it right now. I wish she would just talk to me. I feel evil sending the email to her myspace account because I know that way she can't say she hasn't checked her email since it shows if she's logged in that day so I feel extra bad getting to her like this but I need her to talk to me. Link to post Share on other sites
uniqueone Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 That's terrible, sorry to hear how your sister responded to your cry for help. I hope this was a long time ago and that you are feeling better now. I did email to my mom last week that I was upset she hasn't been contacting me and told her I think it's because she owes me money and I told her the amount. She said my sister had been griping to her about how she owes me money but hadn't told her how much, so then I thought maybe that really is the reason she's been avoiding me. My other sister also told her last week that I was upset she hadn't been talking to me but she still didn't initiate contact until she responded to my emails to her. My other sister called me today complaining about her so I got mad at her all over again and ended up sending her a mean email asking for my money and now I feel really guilty. If she really can't aford to pay me back right now even if it's due to her frivilous spending, then I know it will stress her out a lot but I wanted to hurt her for avoiding me. Now I feel so guilty like a mean older sister doing that to her younger sister, but I feel so hurt at how she could avoid me for what to me is a small amount of money. I have to remember to put myself in her shoes sometimes but I don't know how to figure out the real reason she's avoiding me, whether to believe her that it's because she feels guilty about repaying me. I don't know and feel so bad about it right now. I wish she would just talk to me. I feel evil sending the email to her myspace account because I know that way she can't say she hasn't checked her email since it shows if she's logged in that day so I feel extra bad getting to her like this but I need her to talk to me. Why don't you send her an email telling her that then? Tell her that you don't care about the money but that you sent that email about it because you're really hurt over how she's been acting to you. Tell her that you miss talking to her and that that's more important to you than getting paid back. Tell her that you'd like to mend things now instead of let them go on for years....etc... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fun2BMe Posted August 31, 2007 Author Share Posted August 31, 2007 Why don't you send her an email telling her that then? Tell her that you don't care about the money but that you sent that email about it because you're really hurt over how she's been acting to you. Tell her that you miss talking to her and that that's more important to you than getting paid back. Tell her that you'd like to mend things now instead of let them go on for years....etc... In the email I sent her last week, as mad as I was in it I did tell her that I had not asked her for the money and why wasn't she talking to me and so forth, and my sister has told her how I feel too. At this point it is too late I think, she has done some irriversible damage. I can't see myself being on good terms with her anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
uniqueone Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 In the email I sent her last week, as mad as I was in it I did tell her that I had not asked her for the money and why wasn't she talking to me and so forth, and my sister has told her how I feel too. At this point it is too late I think, she has done some irriversible damage. I can't see myself being on good terms with her anymore. Never say never. Something little like this isn't worth holding grudges over. How old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts