steffany Posted April 3, 2003 Share Posted April 3, 2003 This is really driving me crazy! My boyfriend and I are doing great but a joke played on April first has left me expecting the worse. A friend of mine called me and told me that she saw him with another female and they were all over each other! Well after about 45 minutes of talking with me and hearing the distraught and anger in my voice (because this past weekend I asked him where we stood and he told me he is only seeing me and hopes the same goes for me) she finally gave it up and giggled an "April's Fool!" I felt immediately relieved. But then on the way home I thought I saw his car at a strange house...turns out it wasn't his...he doesn't have stickers on his bumper. Then last night he went out with "his boys". When his friend called my friend she said she heard a girls voice in the background! But her boy IS cheating on her so I shouldn't jump to conclusions. He really has given me no reason to expect he is seeing someone else. But ever since that April's fool joke I have been suspecting that he is! I know that must sound crazy but my ex fiance cheated on me several times and I don't want to be in that position ever again it really hurts! But I can't shake the feeling somethings goin on. Even though he's at my house about 5 days outta the week and we see each other about 6 days outta the week. Is it female intuition or am I jumping to conclusions. I haven't lead on to him I'm having these thoughts but boy are they here. They feel like they are taking over my work days! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted April 3, 2003 Share Posted April 3, 2003 the only way you're going to lay these suspicions to rest is to talk to your guy. If he knows how your ex treated you, and how you feel about having been cheated on, he'll know where the question is coming from. But you have to trust him enough to open up to him to share your concerns, whether they are real or imagined. Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted April 3, 2003 Share Posted April 3, 2003 [color=indigo] You are going on an April Fool's Day joke that your friend told you. It is absurd to all of a sudden start thinking he's cheating on you because your friend put the idea in your head. You are obviously a bit paranoid since you thought you saw your boyfriends car at a "strange" house. For all you know, your friend could be trying to sabatoge your relationship. If her boyfriend is cheating on her, what is to stop her from wanting to ruin yours? I would keep a closer eye on your friend and stop being so suspicious of your boyfriend. If he hasn't given you reason to believe he is cheating, then relax and just enjoy the time you guys are having together. [/color] Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 3, 2003 Share Posted April 3, 2003 i dont like that friend of yours. april fool's jokes are supposed to be funny, not hurtful - 45 minutes is WAY WAY too long to have someone believe they've been cheated on. best of luck! -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author steffany Posted April 3, 2003 Author Share Posted April 3, 2003 I talked to him about our relationship just this past weekend and neither one of us are seeing anyone else and he said he can only speak for himself but he doesn't plan on dating anyone but me. He wants me to trust him I said I did...and I did. But ever since I had my feathers ruffled I can't shake the feeling. But when we knew each other as just friends he was very much the lady's man. You know had a lot of women, none of who he went out with more than once or twice before he moved on. But I was the same way. I had numbers of men at the club who bought me drinks and took me out. But we both wanted to leave that behind us...we fell in love as friends and it just happened a little at a time until it was just me and him always together. Then we had our first kiss and everyone knew I was his girl and he was my man. And we are together so much and we enjoy eachothers company and conversations. Oh this is so dumb of me! Just because I'm scared to look like the fool...I'm sure he is scared too. You know what...I'm through with acting like this...it takes way too much energy. I'm going to let it go and trust him. And if there is any reason not to I will find out sooner or later. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 3, 2003 Share Posted April 3, 2003 The friendship with the person who called you with this cruel joke should be terminated immediately. That call was sick, cruel, vicious, and just plane heinous. One thing would have been for it to have lasted a minute or two...but to go on for 45 minutes is absolute and certain evidence of her lack of any respect or consideration for you at all. She's low class...if even that. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 3, 2003 Share Posted April 3, 2003 steffany, yes, just let go and trust him until (if ever) you see bad signs from HIM. and plz stay away from that friend. she's not safe for your r/s AT ALL!! sadly, gals who're cheated on often will try to make sure their friend's also cheated on... -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted April 3, 2003 Share Posted April 3, 2003 [color=violet]I say lose the friend...keep the boyfriend. WTF?[/color] Link to post Share on other sites
Author steffany Posted April 3, 2003 Author Share Posted April 3, 2003 I would hate to lose her as a friend. We've been friends for years. I don't blame her so much as I do my way of thinking. Ya know? She has apologized and never claimed the female voice was there with my guy. But I thought it. I haven't really let myself fall for a guy since my ex. As you can read above I was a real party girl. I didn't sleep around but boy did I flirt and tease. I never got too close to anyone that way. A date here ...a date there... always unpredicatable and unable to be "tamed". And she knows I don't usually get mad or hurt I just "throw the duce". I basically just walk away from the situation and keep on partying when it comes to guys. She claims she thought I was kinda trying to pull her leg when I got emotional. Like I said for 3 years I haven't cried or even worried about a guy. Do you think she doesn't deserve another chance? Women give men second chances all the time in relationships. Do you think it would be smart to still be her friend but keep in mind misery loves company and she definantly is in misery in her relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted April 4, 2003 Share Posted April 4, 2003 You wrote: Do you think she doesn't deserve another chance? Women give men second chances all the time in relationships. Do you think it would be smart to still be her friend but keep in mind misery loves company and she definantly is in misery in her relationship? Well think about it......would YOU play such a CRUEL joke on a friend you KNOW has BEEN CHEATED ON BEFORE? That's the farthest thing from funny. A real friend is someone who's sensitive to our insecurities and fears, not someone who gets a kick out of stirring them up. WHo gives a sh*t if she's got misery in her relationship?......she obviously CHOOSES to stay in it, right? Nobody is putting a gun to her head to force her to be there. And what, she's miserable so she wanted YOU to be miserable, if only for 45 minutes? She sounds like a really cruel douchebag to me. I wouldn't want a friend like that, ever. And you need to get a grip and stop with this paranoia, that was based on nothing but a stupid, pointless APril Fool's prank. That's just insane. You'll end up losing your guy if you can't trust him and he senses that. Nobody wants to be with someone who has tons of issues and baggage from their past, who can't trust them. We've all been cheated on before, but we have to get a grip and get past it and realize that not everyone out there is going to cheat on it, that's unfortunately just a part of life. Link to post Share on other sites
sammie Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 HI MY NAME IS SAMANTHA I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM WITH MY MAN BUT HE HAS cheated on me a while ago and i still can't trust him it has been 3 years ago that he has cheated but there is still that feeling inside u saying that hes done it befor why not now u know so just telll him howu feel Link to post Share on other sites
fiatflux Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 I'm with the ones who say that the real issue here is the girlfriend and how badly she treated you with this prank. Pranks like this are passive-aggressive and it appears to me that she was deliberately trying to hurt you. If you find her friendship that important, then I would lay it on the line and tell her how much this prank hurt you and tell her that if she does something this hurtful to you again you don't know if you can continue the friendship with her. I guess you can give her the benefit of the doubt and give her another chance, but not without telling her straight out how this made you feel and how counterproductive it is to your friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
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