yogi-mon Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 I've been faithful for my current girlfriend for a year and a half. She is a virgin, and she is saving it for marriage. I have been okay with it. Until last night. I had a few drinks and ran into a girl in the bar. We had sex at my house. Now, today - I have the worst case of guilt you can imagine. I love my girlfriend alot. I'm used to having sex on a regular basis, so the year and a half break from sex was very difficult and I finally snapped under the pressure of another girl seducing me... My problem is that I love her so much, but I can't deal with the guilt. Should I tell her ? Or do I get a case of amnesia? Link to post Share on other sites
Daniella Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 IMO...if you are feeling guilty enough to stop and it was a one time thing, shut up and don't say a word. If you feel you are going to cave every time a cute girl shows interest..tell her now and let her get on with her life. You do know that there are other options besides intercourse that would preserve her virginity, right?? Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 IMO...if you are feeling guilty enough to stop and it was a one time thing, shut up and don't say a word. If you feel you are going to cave every time a cute girl shows interest..tell her now and let her get on with her life. You do know that there are other options besides intercourse that would preserve her virginity, right?? Daniella, thats just dumb. This girl totally deserves to know who she is choosing to marry. This isnt about his choices anymore! Seriously... he willingly put himself into a situation where he could cheat... notice how he states that he was "seduced", thats blame shifting? Doesnt matter if your going to be faithfull the rest of your life or not... you need to tell and provide her the choice! Link to post Share on other sites
Author yogi-mon Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 In a strange way, I think I may have found my answer. This girl totally deserves to know who she is choosing to marry. What and I don't? Its this exact type of attitude that really bothers me. You expect that just because I've invested a year and a half into my current girlfriend without having sex that I must want to Marry her. You assume it. You assume I want marriage, and with her for that matter. You assume that men can't just like to have a girlfriend because of who she is. You assume its always about sex. You assume I can't go back to another woman tomorrow and go on with my sex life as it would normally go? You assume that all men must be so low that they can't simply date someone for the enjoyment of it. You've helped me make my choice, and that is to dump her and not tell her anything more then she needs to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 In a strange way, I think I may have found my answer. What and I don't? Its this exact type of attitude that really bothers me. You expect that just because I've invested a year and a half into my current girlfriend without having sex that I must want to Marry her. You assume it. You assume I want marriage, and with her for that matter. You assume that men can't just like to have a girlfriend because of who she is. You assume its always about sex. You assume I can't go back to another woman tomorrow and go on with my sex life as it would normally go? You assume that all men must be so low that they can't simply date someone for the enjoyment of it. You've helped me make my choice, and that is to dump her and not tell her anything more then she needs to know. Actually thats the best choice of all!!! I'm literally clapping! See you may not want marriage... but thats her end goal. If she is dating you just to date you... well then you just kind of getting used emotionally, until something better comes along. If she wants to marry and you dont... Well then your goals dont match and your wasting her time! So in your case... Its pretty safe to assume. Go enjoy your life... and try to find someone with matching goals who doesnt waste your time and engery! Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Naturally, you shouldn't have cheated. That goes without saying. However, if you've now decided to break up with her (and since she's still a virgin there's no risk of her getting an STD from your cheating), then it's probably water under the bridge, and she doesn't need to know. I dated a virgin very briefly after my marriage ended. She was a great girl and she was really into me and fun to be around, but after just getting out of an 11-year sexual relationship, I wasn't prepared to commit to one that involved celibacy. So I broke it off with her. Sex isn't the only important thing in a relationship, but it's pretty damned important. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 Cheating is never an opinion and what you did was stupid, selfish, and have no one but yourself to blame and is unacceptable. Sorry to be harsh but that's what way it goes. In a committed relationship you never ever cheat. If your going to do that break up with her FIRST, not LAST. Go enjoy your life... and try to find someone with matching goals who doesnt waste your time and engery! I agree. Link to post Share on other sites
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