TogetherForever Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Maybe this is just a case of an open marriage??? Link to post Share on other sites
PandorasBox Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 NO!!! I am not speaking of anything finiancially. What kind of that relationship be? I thank you for your responses and your O. actually your your statement, "Efforts in showing security" does come across or could come across as meaning "security" in a finacial situation. I think that's why EM thought that. I guess you were meaning security as in him being there for you and providing something stable for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 actually your your statement, "Efforts in showing security" does come across or could come across as meaning "security" in a finacial situation. I think that's why EM thought that. I guess you were meaning security as in him being there for you and providing something stable for you? Yes that is what I meant and I can see where that could have been taken the other way. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 But yes close. So, you expect him to just end his marriage, and move in with you - everything just so neat and tidy so you two can start a new life together??? His wife (I guess if it actually DOES happen, ex-wife) will ALWAYS be a part of your lives. His children will always come first. He will need time alone to deal with the loss of his marriage, the loss of his family living under one roof. Then there's the $$ issue... People need time between relationships to heal and to be alone. How could you trust him 100%? He cheated on his wife, betrayed his whole family! His WIFE carried their children and he is capable of cheating on her...They said vows infront of family and friends...And you trust him enough that he'll never do that to you? Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 She doesnt pay attention to what he does. I'll refrase my ? Does his wife know that you & her husband have a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 She doesnt pay attention to what he does. Well, she probably trusts him that he isn't going to cheat on her! Link to post Share on other sites
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 Well, she probably trusts him that he isn't going to cheat on her! She is and was aware there has been infidelity in the marriage Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 So, she knows you and her husband are together? Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 She is and was aware there has been infidelity in the marriage infidelity on her side or his? both have gone down that road? Link to post Share on other sites
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 So, you expect him to just end his marriage, and move in with you - everything just so neat and tidy so you two can start a new life together??? His wife (I guess if it actually DOES happen, ex-wife) will ALWAYS be a part of your lives. His children will always come first. He will need time alone to deal with the loss of his marriage, the loss of his family living under one roof. Then there's the $$ issue... People need time between relationships to heal and to be alone. How could you trust him 100%? He cheated on his wife, betrayed his whole family! His WIFE carried their children and he is capable of cheating on her...They said vows infront of family and friends...And you trust him enough that he'll never do that to you? I relieze she will be part of his life. They have children. I guess once someone makes a mistake then there is no way for them to relieze they haev changed and wants different. ( I dont believe in that) Link to post Share on other sites
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 infidelity on her side or his? both have gone down that road? On his part. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Well, until the papers are signed, sealed and delivered, I wouldn't put all your eggs in one basket... Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 On his part. And that would be with you? I hope so and that you're the only OW he has... cause you never know... Link to post Share on other sites
PandorasBox Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Well since you know his track record of infidelity or history in his marriage, on his part, and he is now cheating with you, then you are aware, that if he can do it with you, he can do it to you. I'm sorry, but please be prepared for this picture that has been painted to get uglier at some point. Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 I'll refrase my ? Does his wife know that you & her husband have a relationship? Off topic - How's my spelling doing today? refrase s/b rephrase. TF Link to post Share on other sites
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 He has stated that he is aware he has made mistakes within the marriage. He also has stated that he wants a change. And that he never thought he would find someone he would want that change with. He feels his infidelity within the marriage was his feeling of being trappend in the marriage and it was more of a release for him. Living a fantasy. And escaping the reality of unhappiness he was living in. Yes, In the beginning of the relationship I had concerns this would be a cycle for him. But time and certain turn of events have shown me that he is being truthful with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 Well, until the papers are signed, sealed and delivered, I wouldn't put all your eggs in one basket... I see your point in that statement. I look for my strength in myself, family and friends. And I continue my own life until those papers are signed , sealed and delivered. And he is aware of that. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Wanna take a guess how many OW/OM have heard *exactly* these same lines from their married "friends"? Link to post Share on other sites
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 Wanna take a guess how many OW/OM have heard *exactly* these same lines from their married "friends"? I am sure. And for some they are LINES. And for others they are truths. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 And sometimes we deceive ourselves..... Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 WithinMyEyes, spare yourself the heartache for now. Until it is a done deal.. you should focus a lot of your time on yourself. Just don't make him your first priority. Link to post Share on other sites
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 And sometimes we deceive ourselves..... Quite true I believe that some people make themselves believe things that arent there. But when we are presented circumstances that give proof in the words then there is validity. And truth and trust becomes apparant. This also holds true for lies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 WithinMyEyes, spare yourself the heartache for now. Until it is a done deal.. you should focus a lot of your time on yourself. Just don't make him your first priority. I have learned in the past ( hurt - part of the relationship). I am first. And that I need to put myself first. And that is how I have lived my life until the day where things are offically over ( Divorced) with them. I have told him that many times. I have explained to him , he will not resided and create and complete life with me until he starts and finializes a divorce. I have given him a time frame. He leaves he has to see a lawyer immediately. I will refuse to wait no longer. I will refuse to be the other woman. While he is living with me and has someone else he can refer to as his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Author With_In_My_Eyes Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 Not to segway into something else. I do enjoy this site. And find this form of discussion helpful, informative and at times entertaining ( this applying to other threads). Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 WIME, Divorce aside, why is he still home with his wife? Kids? Dontcha think he would've left already if his marriage was dead & over? If he no longer loves his wife he would be gone already. And don't give me the "He's stays for the kids" excuse. Link to post Share on other sites
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