Hurt but the Best thing that could have happened to me

[smoochygirl]

I've been away for months and with a very good reason.

 

I came here, desparately in love with a MM, and was in need of help and support. While I did get some from people in the same situation (You know who are and I say thank you), I most of the time had to put of with the same crap I've seen on this thread.

 

"He doesn't love you", "You're a cheap whore", "He'll leave and go back to his wife."

 

If I wanted to talk to a BS, I would call MM's wife. I didn't come here to get crapped on by someone vicious and bitter. I came here to figure out what to do in a very difficult situation.

 

I have no clue why this forum has moderators. They seem to allow so much from BS and when the OW dares to stand up for herself, posts get deleted and people get warnings.

 

So with an aim to banned from this site, I say to all the BS here:

 

GET A FREAKING LIFE!!!!!! IF YOU WANT TO BLAME ANYONE FOR CHEATING, BLAME YOUR FREAKING HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP PICKING ON OTHER PEOPLE, WHO ARE THE SYMPTOM OF WHAT IS WRONG IN YOUR MARRIAGE, NOT THE CAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE OW DID NOT PROMISE YOU FIDELITY, YOUR HUSBAND DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

There, I've said it.

Talking about RUDENESS. IF you read the whole thread i didn't see BS here who said anything bad to her. Sure there are people who's rude, but i don't think they are BS, READ carefully who is doing that before you said such statement. Looks like your the one who is going to get a warning. So rude.

[bigblueeyes]

I don't care who is being rude!!!!!!

 

The whole point is that this forum is so drenched in vileness that I left. I come back and it's the same.

 

So if everyone else is allowed, then why not me???

[smoochygirl]

I don't care who is being rude!!!!!!

 

The whole point is that this forum is so drenched in vileness that I left. I come back and it's the same.

 

So if everyone else is allowed, then why not me???

 

I read the whole thread and the only person that are rude is sothisislove and i don't even think she is a BS. You can do as you please but that can't stop any member including me to hit the ALERT button and if you are pissed by the opinion or comment of any member just hit the ALERT button, that simple.

[bigblueeyes]

Well, at least we agree sothisislove is rude. Thank you

[scaredinlove]

You are clearly not happy.

No one with any sense of dignity and self worth wants half a man.

I tried to convince mysekf for a long time that I was happy with my free time away from mm but it was self deluding.

Frannie is an example of avery nice woman who fails to admit that her mm is not in love with her.

I will probably be barred from the narrow minded thought police on this site who will censor this but at the end of the day it is true.

Bu the way Frannie, I do know your mm's wife so game up.

 

 

 

The good thing of being the OW is:

 

i don't haveto wash his clothes and clean after him

I don't have to deal with his moods

I get him clean, nice, fed and he is missing so much that he gives me ALL the attention.

 

She can deal with the rest I have been married and I am not looking forward to have to take care of another man.

 

I know he loves me the most, he cares for her ,but I am the one he calls 12 times a day.He will call me first to ask for any decision , even decisions that concern both of them.

I am the one he longs for.

I am the one he is happy with.

 

I my have half man ,but I sure have the better half!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[smoochygirl]

The good thing of being the OW is:

 

i don't haveto wash his clothes and clean after him

I don't have to deal with his moods

I get him clean, nice, fed and he is missing so much that he gives me ALL the attention.

 

She can deal with the rest I have been married and I am not looking forward to have to take care of another man.

 

I know he loves me the most, he cares for her ,but I am the one he calls 12 times a day.He will call me first to ask for any decision , even decisions that concern both of them.

I am the one he longs for.

I am the one he is happy with.

 

I my have half man ,but I sure have the better half!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Who's MM are not gonna want your arrangement, not all OW are like you who's willing to be an OW forever, not demanding and most of all he doesn't need to lie to get a regular sex.

[pricillia]

I do not want to take care of a man, and if that is what is being married is all about then forget it I never ever want to get married.

 

I think that a man should know how to do his own laundry, cook, clean, ect. ect.

 

A wife should be more than someone to cook and clean!

[smoochygirl]

I do not want to take care of a man, and if that is what is being married is all about then forget it I never ever want to get married.

 

I think that a man should know how to do his own laundry, cook, clean, ect. ect.

 

A wife should be more than someone to cook and clean!

 

I respect your opinion if your happy with your arrangement in your life good for you. I am a wife , i don't just cook and clean, my husband cook and clean too and do our laundry, I need a man in my life who is going to be there for me all the time, i don't like part time relationship. I want this marriage and i am lucky to have to it.

[scaredinlove]

I respect your opinion if your happy with your arrangement in your life good for you. I am a wife , i don't just cook and clean, my husband cook and clean too and do our laundry, I need a man in my life who is going to be there for me all the time, i don't like part time relationship. I want this marriage and i am lucky to have to it.

 

 

I am happy for you , I am not sure of you story, but if your H is so dedicated that is great. Most husbands are not.

 

And honestly, when I mand has a OW , the wife becomes exactly that the one who cooks and clean.

 

And you know what if you have a good marriage more power for you.Most marriages and not like that. I know my wans't...Most people I know are not happy married.So you are lucky ,good for you!

[scaredinlove]

I do not want to take care of a man, and if that is what is being married is all about then forget it I never ever want to get married.

 

I think that a man should know how to do his own laundry, cook, clean, ect. ect.

 

A wife should be more than someone to cook and clean!

 

most don't. Some maybe but most will want the W to do it.

[Felicita]

I met a wonderful man. Complete opposite from anyother men I have ever been involved with. I knew his was married when I met him. We had an instant connection from the moment we talked.

 

I was cool being his friend and didnt think anything more. Then all of a sudden our feeling grew. And here we are now. In love and not regretting it.

 

This relationship has given me and him our fair share of heartache. But when I looked into the pros and cons it has also given me stregthen and love I has always looked for , but never thought I would find. And the same goes for him. I can say this as he has told me this many times before.

 

Some people have told me the relationship is WRONG. And we will both suffer from it. But how can I suffer? And if suffering is loving him and feeling happy then I love suffering.

 

 

 

 

There are no pros when you are denigrating yourself. I speak from experience, not moral judgent. What you are telling him, the world and most importantly yourself is that you are not worthy of being with an available man. You will always be second best, you will always get the leftovers. He is hardly suffering, my dear, he has a wife and a girlfriend. You are like a panting dog waiting for him to pat you on the head. Either get honest with yourself and call it what it is...an offense to your integrity...or you keep indulging in this delusion that it is a relationship of equals. It most certainly is not.

[Felicita]

There are no pros when you are denigrating yourself. I speak from experience, not moral judgment. What you are telling him, the world and most importantly yourself is that you are not worthy of being with an available man. You will always be second best, you will always get the leftovers. He is hardly suffering, my dear, he has a wife and a girlfriend. You are like a panting dog waiting for him to pat you on the head. Either get honest with yourself and call it what it is...an offense to your integrity...or you keep indulging in this delusion that it is a relationship of equals. It most certainly is not. Today 4:44 PM

[pricillia]

I respect your opinion if your happy with your arrangement in your life good for you. I am a wife , i don't just cook and clean, my husband cook and clean too and do our laundry, I need a man in my life who is going to be there for me all the time, i don't like part time relationship. I want this marriage and i am lucky to have to it.

 

 

I am not happy with my arrangement although I would not want a man that would expect me to be his maid.

 

I would gladly run a good home however it should be a partenership.

 

I do need a man in my life that will be there for me when I need him in the sense that he understands me and that we can build something together, althought everyone needs time to be themselves, I like togetherness, but clingy is not my thing at all.

[bunset]

There are no pros when you are denigrating yourself. I speak from experience, not moral judgment. What you are telling him, the world and most importantly yourself is that you are not worthy of being with an available man. You will always be second best, you will always get the leftovers. He is hardly suffering, my dear, he has a wife and a girlfriend. You are like a panting dog waiting for him to pat you on the head. Either get honest with yourself and call it what it is...an offense to your integrity...or you keep indulging in this delusion that it is a relationship of equals. It most certainly is not. Today 4:44 PM

 

Did it occur to anyone that there are some women/men that don't need a full-time partner to validate one's self-worth?

Truly, if one is a a whole person, one does not need a partner to define one's loveability or value.

I do not see a panting dog. I see a self-confident, independent, rational and mature individual in a person that can be grateful and enjoy the gifts that are given.

If one is hurting by the rejection of a partner, or the lack of attention from a partner, then one should re-examine one's own personal relationship with themselves.

To be open to hurt, is to be open to life. Eventually we learn that the hurt is all a matter of perspective. All of us would be so much more in a state of gratitude if we could only truly understand that.

Wanting more is not a crime, but feeling empty and bereft are solely one's own responsibility.

As long as no one is deliberately sabotaging another's physical and mental well-being, I believe that love is a wonderful thing.

[blowingthetrout]

LMAO! are you saying that i need some dick?!?!

 

actually...i've had quite enough lately, thank you very much!

 

then you need toss some salad!I dont think I can lose my gay virginity to someone who lacks proper dick manners! so no can do here!so you'll be scratchin your chicken on your own honey!

She did not come here to vent, she came to tell us how happy she is!

 

I am glad she is happy, but will she be happy when his wife b*tch slaps her to the floor when she finds out, and the man who 'loves her' walks away in thne sunset with the woman he really loves (his wife)?

 

*blowingthetrout arrives fashionably late bitch slaps Lishy*Tramp!*sashay's out*

I read the whole thread and the only person that are rude is sothisislove and i don't even think she is a BS. You can do as you please but that can't stop any member including me to hit the ALERT button and if you are pissed by the opinion or comment of any member just hit the ALERT button, that simple.

 

this would make YOU more of a prissy queen than I am!! you are a smoochy lil doll aren't you?

Who's MM are not gonna want your arrangement, not all OW are like you who's willing to be an OW forever, not demanding and most of all he doesn't need to lie to get a regular sex.

 

at least the OW is getting regular sex maybe should try it seeing how you are not getting any young & puffy smoochy bush?

There are no pros when you are denigrating yourself. I speak from experience, not moral judgment. What you are telling him, the world and most importantly yourself is that you are not worthy of being with an available man. You will always be second best, you will always get the leftovers. He is hardly suffering, my dear, he has a wife and a girlfriend. You are like a panting dog waiting for him to pat you on the head. Either get honest with yourself and call it what it is...an offense to your integrity...or you keep indulging in this delusion that it is a relationship of equals. It most certainly is not. Today 4:44 PM

 

Pappa dont preach cuz blowingthetrout is keeping his baby!

[pricillia]

BT,

 

I like your pink hat, you know that real men wear pink right!

[scaredinlove]

There are no pros when you are denigrating yourself. I speak from experience, not moral judgment. What you are telling him, the world and most importantly yourself is that you are not worthy of being with an available man. You will always be second best, you will always get the leftovers. He is hardly suffering, my dear, he has a wife and a girlfriend. You are like a panting dog waiting for him to pat you on the head. Either get honest with yourself and call it what it is...an offense to your integrity...or you keep indulging in this delusion that it is a relationship of equals. It most certainly is not. Today 4:44 PM

 

 

 

Let me think...

 

I am free, independent and have a great man that tells me he loves me at least 2 times in each conversation. He is incredibly loving. He listen to me when I need. he will hold me and let me cry when I am sad.

 

He is a great love and would love to be with me , but sometimes one cannot have everything in live.

 

I would love to have my windows facing the Himalayas ,but that is not possible at this point.

 

I don't need a ring and a poiece of paper to make me happy. I am happy for what I am and have.

 

I am very thankfull for have this love in my life and if it has to be part-time I will enjoy the rest of my time alone( but not lonely) and make the most of our time together.

 

You cannot have everything you love, but you can love everything you have!!!:bunny:

 

I love our time together, even if it is only few minutes.

[bunset]

scared,

 

Doesn't sound like hurt to me.

 

The only hurt you are truly responsible for is your own.

 

Sounds like you know that, and know what to do for it.

 

Rather egotistic to believe that you can control another's feelings, don't you agree?

[scaredinlove]

scared,

 

Doesn't sound like hurt to me.

 

The only hurt you are truly responsible for is your own.

 

Sounds like you know that, and know what to do for it.

 

Rather egotistic to believe that you can control another's feelings, don't you agree?

 

 

Indeed it is.

 

Not only feelings but the choices in life too. People are free.

 

Only we all understand it that we will be happy.

 

You have to have control of your feelings ,and you cannot control others.

 

I agree with you bunset.

[blowingthetrout]

BT,

 

I like your pink hat, you know that real men wear pink right!

 

Thanks doll! You just know how us wanna be gays love our compliments!

[scaredinlove]

Who's MM are not gonna want your arrangement, not all OW are like you who's willing to be an OW forever, not demanding and most of all he doesn't need to lie to get a regular sex.

 

 

 

I get regular sex too, nothing wrong with that. hummm.

 

Listen we meet many times and have lunch, he runs to pay phones to call me just to say a quick I love you.

 

Many affairs are not about sex, they are about love.:bunny:

 

And if it is about sex ,that's ok! Who dosen't like to have good sex???Sounds good for me,

[sothisislove]

LOL!

 

Okay, people...whatever you say!

[LucreziaBorgia]

Its pretty interesting to go back and read your posts, Scared. I can understand why you are such a HOW. Given your past posts, those are your only options really: be happy with what little you have, or don't have it at all. It beats being alone, no?

[Lyssa]

Yup, as long as she's happy, hey?

[Yamaha]

I met a wonderful man.

 

I was cool being his friend and didn't think anything more. Then all of a sudden our feeling grew. And here we are now. In love and not regretting it.

 

This relationship has given me and him our fair share of heartache. But when I looked into the pros and cons it has also given me strengthen and love I has always looked for , but never thought I would find. And the same goes for him. I can say this as he has told me this many times before.

 

Some people have told me the relationship is WRONG. And we will both suffer from it. But how can I suffer? And if suffering is loving him and feeling happy then I love suffering.

 

 

I don't understand your posting on your MM? If you are willing to suffer for love then what is your question? The relationship is good and your in-love and not regretting it so why post for advice?

 

Just wondering?