Lyssa Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 You know, CodeFive, we both know you're strong... so hang in there. You may not get over her today or tomorrow but you WILL!! Let her have her space... she can have all the time that she needs... Link to post Share on other sites
Author code five Posted September 5, 2007 Author Share Posted September 5, 2007 I woke up this morning wide awake... You know... when you open up your eyes and are wide awake and everything is clear... Well, I woke this morning and I immediately thought - OMG, she's not coming back, she's not going to call, she's not going to email - she's just GONE. She didn't care and her words were never anything more than lies... She doesn't care or she would have at least explained... The thing I cannot forgive, I cannot forget is her "I DO want to talk to you, I just can't right now because the therapist said I couldn't'. Not having the respect to be honest with me and tell me it was over... It's been nearly 2 weeks... Last I heard was H was filing, both had legal reps. So, if i really mattered, if what we shared really meant something - why not call? At least then I would have some kind of closure, a sense I meant something to her... hell, I would take anything at this point. To think the concept of 'us' was meaningless in her eyes, is worse than... well - it's pretty horrible. Sorry all, I'm venting again. Just really frustrated and feeling a bit worthless at the moment. Amazing how heartache can mess you up. Amazing how another can hurt you so much. Oh - and for anyone who thinks I'm being insensitive, look, I know her H is a mess also (much more hurt I'm sure), but I too have feelings... Yes, I knew the risks. Sometimes we can't help who we fall for. So begins another day... When will this hurt end? Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted September 6, 2007 Share Posted September 6, 2007 It will end. It will take time but it will end. She could have called but she didn't... that gives you more idea of what kinda of a person she is. So let her be. She'll get more confused pretty soon (you know why) and you know what, you're not going to be around to make her feel better. You gotta stay strong... Link to post Share on other sites
notunderstanding Posted September 6, 2007 Share Posted September 6, 2007 Dude everybody is different with how long the pain takes to go away. In some ways it really never does. My first experience as a single OM was devastating and was 7 years ago. I think the second time (and last btw) was a "grudge" thing that backfired on me. The pain will subside I promise but you'll rarely have days that you don't think about her even when you're seeing someone else or moved on. It's a tuff road to go down but you will only hurt yourself if you don't stick with your own NC. Look at it like this, you've woke up now, don't fall back asleep. Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 I woke up this morning wide awake... You know... when you open up your eyes and are wide awake and everything is clear... Well, I woke this morning and I immediately thought - OMG, she's not coming back, she's not going to call, she's not going to email - she's just GONE. She didn't care and her words were never anything more than lies... She doesn't care or she would have at least explained... The thing I cannot forgive, I cannot forget is her "I DO want to talk to you, I just can't right now because the therapist said I couldn't'. Not having the respect to be honest with me and tell me it was over... It's been nearly 2 weeks... Last I heard was H was filing, both had legal reps. So, if i really mattered, if what we shared really meant something - why not call? At least then I would have some kind of closure, a sense I meant something to her... hell, I would take anything at this point. To think the concept of 'us' was meaningless in her eyes, is worse than... well - it's pretty horrible. Sorry all, I'm venting again. Just really frustrated and feeling a bit worthless at the moment. Amazing how heartache can mess you up. Amazing how another can hurt you so much. Oh - and for anyone who thinks I'm being insensitive, look, I know her H is a mess also (much more hurt I'm sure), but I too have feelings... Yes, I knew the risks. Sometimes we can't help who we fall for. So begins another day... When will this hurt end? (((CodeFive))) Don't give up hope. She might just be waiting til the divorce is final before she contacts you. You did say in your post above that they both had legal representation & the her husband filed for the divorce, right? TF Link to post Share on other sites
bartles Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Code Code Code...you DO not want to hear from this woman. You were an escape for her. Sometimes people find out later down the road that the feeling that they shared were not real. Hearing from this woman will only leave you wanting more..more of her, more of her time and so on. I suggest you spend this time finding someone who is WORTHY of your affection. Women are strange...each one different in their own way. You've reached the point where you're angry and confused..you will get bitter if you keep dwelling on it. Just think that it was good while it lasted. The fantasy is over please try to find someone else who deserves you and could give you what you need and want. A MW is just not it! Link to post Share on other sites
eastcoastMan Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 [COLOR=black]Guess what? She WILL contact you again. Maybe not this week or next or even next month, something was MISSING in her marriage and she fell into YOUR arms. These things just don't go away easily. Especially not for women who tend to cherish the emotional aspects of these kind of relationships. She's feeling the loss everyday. She's thinking of you, thinking of the time you two had together. She's tossing and turning at night. Why? The HONEYMOON period was abruptly ended by her H and not by her. She's probably feeling some resentment toward her H. Give her time to sort it all out. And sorry but you have to wait for her to contact you. Give her and her H that respect. But... in time she'll find away to communicate to you. How you two handle it from there are consequences you both will have to deal with. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Good luck. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]I understand the hole in your heart and the spinning of your mind. Love HURTS but this perceived cloud over head will pass in time. [/COLOR] Link to post Share on other sites
justfine Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Hi all. I'm feeling really low this evening. I'm going to post this here to try to vent a bit - lol, self therapy i guess. I feel horrible. I'm sure tomorrow will be better - it's times like these when i feel as if I am sitting at the bottom of an eco-bin. Sorry - just feels better to write this I guess... You know, it serves you right to be miserable, then maybe you'll think twice about having an affair with another man's wife. Maybe one day, you'll get married and some dude will be doing your wife at a conference. You're pathetic. Link to post Share on other sites
NearlyThere Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 You know, it serves you right to be miserable, then maybe you'll think twice about having an affair with another man's wife. Maybe one day, you'll get married and some dude will be doing your wife at a conference. You're pathetic. Please enlighten us as to why you feel calling someone pathetic is helpful? I'm sure that when Code reads your statement he will feel so much better for reading your words. Perhaps you should read the pinned thread at the top of the forum that might help. Link to post Share on other sites
bestadvisor Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Errmmm.. did you not read HIS thread? He was involved with a Married Woman... It goes both ways, just replace married man with married woman. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 You know, it serves you right to be miserable, then maybe you'll think twice about having an affair with another man's wife. Maybe one day, you'll get married and some dude will be doing your wife at a conference. You're pathetic. Is your wife pathetic too???????? Oh no, I'm sorry, she's really a terrific person. Unlike all the OW/OM here. Link to post Share on other sites
bestadvisor Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Nearlythere and Movinon are obviously people who have help wrecked homes based on their comments. I could be wrong, but most certainly, I'm not. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Nearlythere and Movinon are obviously people who have help wrecked homes based on their comments. I could be wrong, but most certainly, I'm not. Why don't you try addressing the fact that Justfine has compassion for his wonderful wife, yet does not have compassion for others who have done the same thing his wife did! Nearlythere and myself are only pointing that out to him. Surely you don't have to be an OW/OM to see the irony in that! You either have compassion for all or compassion for none. You can't have it both ways! Link to post Share on other sites
NearlyThere Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Nearlythere and Movinon are obviously people who have help wrecked homes based on their comments. I could be wrong, but most certainly, I'm not. Its also pretty obvious where your opinions come from as well. I see you are also a person who likes to make posts that people will find very helpful when they need it. Also you are wrong, hate to be the one to break the news to you, but I have not helped wreck any home. Anyway, will not respond to your comments any more, as 1. Its a T/J 2. Personal posts between members that exclude others is against LS policy and liable to an infraction. Link to post Share on other sites
bestadvisor Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Why don't you try addressing the fact that Justfine has compassion for his wonderful wife. Does he still? If he does still, he's an idiot. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm right about the two of you being Cheaters (either OW/OM or a cheating spouse) by the way you're posting. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Does he still? If he does still, he's an idiot. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm right about the two of you being Cheaters (either OW/OM or a cheating spouse) by the way you're posting. Who care if we are or not! Seriously! Has nothing to do with the point. And if you read Justfine's back posts, he does. Sorry for the T/J people. NT is right. Carry on... Link to post Share on other sites
bestadvisor Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 but I have not helped wreck any home. Anyway, will not respond to your comments any more, as Let me guess, your excuse is the home was already wrecked when you came into the picture, right? Something like "When I get together with the cheating spouse, he/she was already unhappy or they were already seperated." THAT does not give you the right to XXXX with a still married spouse, at least not untill the divorce is finalized. Link to post Share on other sites
BubblesKittyShed Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 Let me guess, your excuse is the home was already wrecked when you came into the picture, right? Something like "When I get together with the cheating spouse, he/she was already unhappy or they were already seperated." THAT does not give you the right to XXXX with a still married spouse, at least not untill the divorce is finalized. "Guessing" okay! That's as good as nothing! Link to post Share on other sites
justfine Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 With regards to my wife, I wouldn't say I have compassion for her, I've just chosen to forgive her because I don't want to be a bitter person and carry hate in my heart. In fact, in another post, I stated that she is currently suffering humiliation because alot of family and friends know what she's done. I showed my cousin, Godmother's oldest daughter, a copy of her bank statement with a motel bill. This convinced them that she truly was guilty of adultery and not just some suspicion I had. Do I feel bad everyone is talking about her and her adultery? Hell No! I'm glad she's suffering, serves her right. Point is I have forgiven her, but, I'm also glad she is suffering humiliation for her actions. Like I said earlier, it's good that people suffer when they commit adultery; it serves as a deterrent. Link to post Share on other sites
BubblesKittyShed Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 With regards to my wife, I wouldn't say I have compassion for her, I've just chosen to forgive her because I don't want to be a bitter person and carry hate in my heart. In fact, in another post, I stated that she is currently suffering humiliation because alot of family and friends know what she's done. I showed my cousin, Godmother's oldest daughter, a copy of her bank statement with a motel bill. This convinced them that she truly was guilty of adultery and not just some suspicion I had. Do I feel bad everyone is talking about her and her adultery? Hell No! I'm glad she's suffering, serves her right. Point is I have forgiven her, but, I'm also glad she is suffering humiliation for her actions. Like I said earlier, it's good that people suffer when they commit adultery; it serves as a deterrent. So let's get this straight! Your not bitter, but your glad she's suffering!!! Man! It sounds like you need the help! Your talking in circles like a dog chases his tail!!! Link to post Share on other sites
justfine Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 So let's get this straight! Your not bitter, but your glad she's suffering!!! Man! It sounds like you need the help! Your talking in circles like a dog chases his tail!!! Lets just say that I'm happy when justice is served. Link to post Share on other sites
BubblesKittyShed Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 Lets just say that I'm happy when justice is served. Then remove bitter from your vocabulary! It doesn't fit the glove! Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 On top of that, you call the OP 'pathetic'. Dude, he doesn't need that. Link to post Share on other sites
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