New Here And Need Some

[somethingmore24]

Hello.

 

Im brand new here! I have read around a bit and wanted to ask a question relating to a decision I just recently made with my boyfriend. Here goes

 

We have been together for 2 years now. He is a wonderful man. Everything a woman can ask for. I truly am happy to be with him. But here lies my problem. The last 3 months or so, I find myself wanting to do things on my own and not wanting to be held back by any obligations. Some days I want us to be together forever, and others I just want to be left alone.

 

He has been very understanding throughout it all but I told him recently I need some time to find out why I keep doing this to him. I have also met this guy...He is completely opposite of my man in every way. I feel really really bad but this guy intrigues me for some reason. I cant quite pin it down. I dont want nor do I have time to pursue anything right now because of a new semester of school so I have no intention of actually doing anything with him.

 

I have thought and thought about this and I really think I need to see if he is really the one for me. My mother and all my friends cannot believe what Im doing but I feel that this is what I need to do.

 

So I told him I want like a month or two to get settled into my new place and come back and see where I stand. It is so hard because I know hes hurting on the inside and he is wonderful to me! I feel so at peace with him and can completely be myself. Why am doing this???

[confuzd]

I would ask how old you are but I have come to the conclusion that it really doesnt matter, I am willing to bet that you are not that experienced yet.

 

I gather that yes you are happy, but you have this nagging, even aching urge to see if the grass is greener on the otherside.

 

your probably thinking, "How could you live the rest of my life with this wonderful man and never know what else there was".

 

unfortunately this is human nature, we all want to know what we are missing out on, and will always want to know until we have experienced it and realize that it is nothing special, or unless we can find peace in ourselves and live by the examples of others.

 

Most times we have to experience it for ourselves, no matter what people tell us, it's just one of those things hungers that can not be satisfied until you eat it. Once you eat it though you may realize that it tasted good, but probably will realize that it was not worth what you left behind.

 

You have to realize what you are risking here, the good thing is that you are not married, but nonetheless this man will be devastated and may not be there for you, once you realize the grass is not greener.

 

of course you can get all the advice in the world, but you will probably have to find this out on your own, it seems as if your mind is made up on this already, good luck to you, and I hope you find your happiness.

 

confuzd

[somethingmore24]

Thank you. I am 24 and have dated quite a bit in the past. I know he is good for me. I do see us getting married down the road, but right now, yeah, I think to myself, "is this it?" The one? How am I to know for sure? I dont know why I am doing this. I could not ask for anything more.

My family, friends all love him and I do too but maybe this is what I need to do to make me realize just how good I do have it.

Thanks for the advice. Everyone right now is blown away that I am doing this and I really dont have an answer for anyone as to why I am doing it.

[confuzd]

I will say it is commendable that you are seeking advice, and answers. I am glad you are realizing it now, and not after you marry.

 

You have dated quite a bit, but never have you decided to engage in something so eternal like a marriage. It is a very daunting commitment to some, and to others it is the best feeling in the world and feels so right.

 

for me I have to say I was somewhere in the middle, when I got married I don't think I knew what I was getting into, and had the mindframe well I can always divorce.

 

this is the wrong idea, you will just hurt the one you love as I did, and will regret it trust me.

 

do what you need to do now, because if you are doubting this decision it may mean that you are not ready for such a commitment.

 

I would hate for 7 years down the road when things are a little rocky with you and your husband, for you to wonder what if?

 

what if? can kill a marriage, answer that question now before you hurt more than yourself but a future family.