I need A Ladies insight??

[Scorpio13c]

I broke up with my ex a little over a month ago. The reason ultimately came down hearing her tell me "The relationship isn't going anywhere" coupled with all the red flags that she didn't want to be with me anymore, ie; lack of affection, arguing & a general feeling she didn't love me anymore. Although i did not want our relationship to end, i felt forced to end it. I told her "I can't make you happy" she agreed, so i said "We need to terminate the relationship then" That was it & i picked up my things a few days later.

 

My question is based on this: On her birthday, which was approx. 2 weeks after the breakup, I sent her a e-mail basically saying; "My best wishes & I hope you have a great birthday!"

I never expected a response, but did get one saying; "Your B-day wishes mean a lot to me, more than you know. Hope to hear from you again". I never responded.

 

2 weeks later, i rec'd a e-mail from her, at work, under the guise that a shared membership is expiring in a month or so. Then asking me how i am, that she is "O.K" & that i was the only person who understood a particular problem she had to deal with.

 

I responded by telling her that i was alright & that i felt sorry about her problem. I told her that i just returned to work from vacation & was very busy, "Take care"

She then asks me what i did on vacation. I responded briefly letting her know some things i did with my nephew.

She wished me a great day & i her. That was it. No contact since.

 

She has been on a personals website during all of this.

 

Can anyone of you ladies give me any insight to all of this?

 

Thank you in advance!

 

Scorp

[Lyssa]

Hi Scorpio13c! I wouldn't read too much into all this. She probably thought you wouldn't send any since you both have broken up (esp she was the one that broke it off) but the fact that you did, she saw how nice you are and just said thank you. I would have done the same.

[Scorpio13c]

Thank you Lyssa

I appreciate your insight

[Cioriel]

I agree wiht Lyssa. She was probably pleasantly surprised that you wished her happy birthday because she obviously still likes you as a person/friend - it doesn't sound like it was a bad breakup and it sounds like she is glad that things can be good between you two. It's always a good feeling to realize that your ex doesn't hate you

[Scorpio13c]

Thank you too Cioriel

[Scorpio13c]

Anyone else have a perspective?

[tinke]

she may be checking in, testing the waters...seeing if there is any emotions there (from her). i can see the thank you, but then that would be it, i wouldn't continue on with questions, etc. (too awkward, and quite frankly, i wouldn't care).

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

Sounds like she's testing the waters for opening up conmmunication with you again Scorp. The fact she kept on with the email conversation instead of just simply thanking you for the birthday wishes, well, I'd say she's seeing if you can talk. However, I would be wary - she's talking about a problem only you can help with - maybe she's not actually missing you, per se, but the support you offered her. There's a big difference.

[Scorpio13c]

Thanks Tinke & Je ne Regrette Rien,

The thing is, her problem wasn't really a "Problem", more or less, it was a silly pigeon nuisance on her balconey & this was a secondary e-mail, 2 weeks after her B-day. Argg, maybe she just wanted to know what i'd been up to? I don't know, but why would you bother?

That was last i'd heard from her, 2 weeks today..

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

Thanks Tinke & Je ne Regrette Rien,

The thing is, her problem wasn't really a "Problem", more or less, it was a silly pigeon nuisance on her balconey & this was a secondary e-mail, 2 weeks after her B-day. Argg, maybe she just wanted to know what i'd been up to? I don't know, but why would you bother?

That was last i'd heard from her, 2 weeks today..

 

Scorp, I'm unsure of your position? Are you holding out for her to contact you? Do you want a second chance and are looking for hope in her communications?

 

If that was 2 weeks ago, I'd say that she probably wont contact you again, or at least in the near future. I think if she is looking for a second chance, she may tread carefully, but I think her communication would be more regular with you.

[Scorpio13c]

Scorp, I'm unsure of your position? Are you holding out for her to contact you? Do you want a second chance and are looking for hope in her communications?

 

If that was 2 weeks ago, I'd say that she probably wont contact you again, or at least in the near future. I think if she is looking for a second chance, she may tread carefully, but I think her communication would be more regular with you.

 

Hi Je Ne Regrette Rien,

My emotions have been up & down because although it was me who ended it, i felt like had no choice, it was not something i wanted to do, which if you understand, makes me actually feel as the "Dumpee". However yes, if she were to realize how she treated me & were to want to make ammends, i would consider. Unfotunately, it is not something i would consider contacting her for.

I guess you can say, I'm on the fence, after all, 4-1/2 years is not something easily forgotten, for good or for bad.

Was really just trying to understand her motives..