Author Travis L Posted September 12, 2007 Author Share Posted September 12, 2007 She is kind of seeing someone...although I'm not sure what to think of it. I kind of think she's using him to piss me off or get some kind reaction from me. He's totally not her type, and a guy I know her close childhood friends won't really get along with (not that matters though). A month or so ago she brought this guy to our buddies bar, my friend was talking to him while my ex was talking to one of our buddies. My buddie had his arm around her in a friendly way and I guess this new dude stopped his conversation with my friend and just looked at my ex. My friend asked him if that bugged him and he said wouldn't it bug you? Later that night the same friend goes up to my ex and asks her whats up with you and this guy, are you dating, and she says no, i'm happy being single. But who knows, I could be fooling myself. I didn't know my ex was seeing someone new for about a 3 or four weeks after they started (5-6 weeks total after break up). I actually heard it through a previous ex who had run into her and him at a bar (a block away from my house). Just like you, I felt, and still do, that the new guy isn't her type. I don't know but it might be that something different from her type is exactly what she is looking for right now. Right now, I'm just focusing on myself. If she contacts me, fine, I may reply. For example, last night I went on myspace to tell some of my friends I would in NYC for the weekend and I would like get a drink. I notice i have a message, who's it from? My ex. Hi, what are you up too?!? I didn't reply. It's one thing to text, or even to call, but I'm not doing the myspace thing. Should I reply? I thought about just saying,"it's ok, if we text or to call, but I don't think we should do myspace." Or something like that...should I reply at all?? Hmmm... I haven't encountered this problem as my ex doesn't have myspace (although today she asked if I could help her set one up). Maybe I am a little confused about the difference between her sending u a myspace message and a text message? I dunno, I wouldn't have a problem with any contact from my ex. Well, I suppose if she left a message keyed in my car or blood on my mirror, I might be a little freaked out. Then again, I might say something like, "Well, she meant well..." lol I wouldn't go as far as letting her know you won't respond to myspace messages, just don't respond to them...might even make you a little more mysterious. OK as for her stuff, take it to her sisters this saturday. There is no reason to wait, get it done. Call her up and just put it down point blank in a nice secure manner. Tell her it's nothing personal you just need the space or something and ask if there is a time I can drop your stuff off at your sisters house. Putting it off is part of the mr nice guy persona, you're making excuses. You don't have any, there's a place you can take that stuff right now, so take it! I hear ya man... She called me today out of the blue and asked me to meet her at school. I did and we spent the afternoon just having fun. We both poked fun at each others new person and it was just a lot of fun. She kept asking me, "So, you don't think we are better as friends?" She would also kid around and say stuff like, "You're not over me, I can tell..." and "If I asked you tomorrow to take me back, you would take me." She was giving all sorts of mixed signals (in a mild way). She accidentally touched my hand in the car and it startled me...gave me butterflies.. I just looked at her and she said, "That gave you butterfly's didn't it? It did me too." So then, kiddingly I grabbed her hand to bring it up to my mouth to bite it. When I grabbed it she closed her hand and held mine. I had to do something in the computer lab when it was time for her to go to class so we said bye... She two ways me when she gets out of class to see if I was still at school...not sure why.. Then she goes on to say how nice it was to hang out and stuff... I call her mom (the ex had said her mom misses hearing from me) and asks how shes doing.. The mom tells me about a party that is going on this Sunday for the family. I text the ex to see if her new guy is going and she says she'll get back to me. I let her know I'd like to go if hes not going and if shes ok with it.. We'll see what happens I don't know what I am doing anymore... I'm afraid of the friend zone but at the same time I would rather have her as a friend than not have her at all... I can get my romantic needs met elsewhere... Link to post Share on other sites
heartoutside Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 Yeah, I would say our situations aren't as similar as you think. Sorry to say, but for starters, I think you're messing with your ex just as much as she's messing with you. If it was such a serious realtionship, I don't see how easily one could be just "friends." You really need to read that book. Right now I think you're kidding yourself, putting yourself in a friendship with her hoping that it will get back to something else again.....But I don't know....... As for me, I'm battling with the idea of sending her text replying to her myspace message. I've been thinking. She's been texting me, and responding super fast most of the time, and she has been doing most of the intial contact (about 90% of it). Why can't I reply? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Travis L Posted September 12, 2007 Author Share Posted September 12, 2007 Yeah, I would say our situations aren't as similar as you think. Sorry to say, but for starters, I think you're messing with your ex just as much as she's messing with you. If it was such a serious realtionship, I don't see how easily one could be just "friends." You really need to read that book. Right now I think you're kidding yourself, putting yourself in a friendship with her hoping that it will get back to something else again.....But I don't know....... Ok, what I meant by our situations being similar was the relationship part (not really what has happened since breakup). 4 year relationship, lived together, I helped her go back to school to get her HS diploma (night classes), helped through the process of getting into college, I was one week from proposing, when she left she said she just needed space (even told her mother this....although she quickly changed her mind when she met the new guy), etc... Obviously, we have done very different things since breakup... I'm a little confused by you thinking that we are messing with each other right now... She knows where I stand: I would love the opportunity to work on things and build a beautiful life together. Her stance: We are better off as friends, for now. The poking fun with each other and joking around was how we acted towards each other for most of our 4 year relationship...the core of our relationship is a deep friendship. When the romantic side faded, the friendship side continued (with some big bumps in the road). We have always been very playful with each other... I wouldn't say it would be easy to be friends... I couldn't imagine feeling how I feel right now even 3 weeks ago. I believe I am just at peace with the whole thing. Whatever happens, happens. I know that there are other fish in the sea, etc, etc... I prefer to have this one but I will survive if I don't. Trust me, I was DEVASTATED when she first left...we've lived together for 4 years straight and, like you, I was one week from proposing. Even looking back over this thread I have seen a lot of wishy washy feelings on my part. I go from anger to contentment to jealousy to whatever... I know I will survive with however things end up... As for me, I'm battling with the idea of sending her text replying to her myspace message. I've been thinking. She's been texting me, and responding super fast most of the time, and she has been doing most of the intial contact (about 90% of it). Why can't I reply? I honestly don't see anything wrong with responding to her myspace messages. In my book, a text message = a myspace message. Like you said in your thread, you continue to look at her myspace page and take note of her buddy list changes (you know, you can track who visits your myspace and she might just have a tracker [i do]). She could know that you are visiting it and make changes to get a reaction! If you are still using myspace to keep tabs on her (hey, I'd do it out of curiosity too if my ex had a myspace) might as well respond to her messages on there... Link to post Share on other sites
niceguy27 Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 WHat is the name of the book?? No More Mister Nice Guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Travis L Posted September 12, 2007 Author Share Posted September 12, 2007 Yeah, No More Mr. Nice Guy, by Robert A. Glover Link to post Share on other sites
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