Do i try or move on?

[Toolate]

I have finally got some control back. She has been calling non stop for 3 days, shes calling at my job to. Right now im taking care of myself and while the point of this is to heal up her acting this way is i gotta admit kind of ironic.

 

Im doing this to push things along also. If she is seeing someone this may bring it out into the open. This may make her see what she has done and make her realize she is prolly making a big mistake. This will also give me some emotional down time to thing about what I want. Which right now to be blunt....a new girl. She now has to win ME back.

 

And if she does, we go to Counseling together and separately which i have no problem with iv been going for a few years. I want a good natured trusting LOVING woman. Or else ill just be by myself. Which is looking like what ill be doing.

[Gunny376]

I have finally got some control back. She has been calling non stop for 3 days, shes calling at my job to. Right now im taking care of myself and while the point of this is to heal up her acting this way is i gotta admit kind of ironic.

 

Im doing this to push things along also. If she is seeing someone this may bring it out into the open. This may make her see what she has done and make her realize she is prolly making a big mistake. This will also give me some emotional down time to thing about what I want. Which right now to be blunt....a new girl. She now has to win ME back.

 

And if she does, we go to Counseling together and separately which i have no problem with iv been going for a few years. I want a good natured trusting LOVING woman. Or else ill just be by myself. Which is looking like what ill be doing.

 

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

[Toolate]

Get a load of this!!!!This is a email she sent me last night, i was in a really good mood and opened it like an idiot..needless to say i was very hurt and shocked....at first. All of this has come after i finally ignore her calls and text for a week, she called 10-15 times a day for 3 days last week.

 

 

{{{Hi How are you doing? I'm alright this month has been the worst month in my life. I'm sorry I have treated you so bad in the past. I been looking for another car and insurance. The power steering pump exploded under the hood made a nice mess to clean up. Also I got the police report on friday and it was the other car's fault. When I get me another car I'll be dropping off the civic for you. I do feel horrible for leaving you .But it seemed to be for the best now that I did it . I'm coming to terms with everything I ever done, and I feel so so terrible believe me. I want you to know I did have the best years of my life with you, and would change that for the world. I just wish we were closer and more in tunned with each other. And I actually seeing a counselor down here in *****, (25 miles down the road) and talking to my aunt in California. That is what is helping me see more,and understand me. And I'm so sorry for losing the baby I'm still trying to understand why something so great and beautiful can be taking away from me. And keep thinking it's for being so hateful all those years to you. I'm going to keep getting stronger for myself. And I'm going back to school so I can afford to live. I'm moving to **** probably, I haven't made up my mind yet. Please ***** stay strong and grow within yourself. You are a great man don't let nobody change you. There is a great woman out there that you deserve. And I hope you can forgive me for everything I have done over the years. I really do care about you.}}}}

 

 

She is sorry for what she did to me?--- Uh, well you never really did anything to me but ok.

 

She is now seeing a counselor? -----Thats funny she never would go with me and always said everything is fine and she is happy? How can she come to this glorious revolution about the past 12 years? After what? 1-2 sessions? No its more like (look! im getting my life in order and now you cant have me.) I highly doubt this is true. Its takes some people years to come to these conclusions.95% sure she is not in counseling. It takes more than 1 week to even get that setup. And she never wanted to go anyway.

 

She is sorry she lost the baby.----- What baby? she said she had a miscarriage but told me about it one week later after it was supposed to happen and 3 days after telling my friend. I call BS!!!@!!!! 12 years, NO KID SCARES BEFORE!!!

 

Im a great man and i should never change myself and there is a great woman out there for me?---- So you leave why again? Nothing but soap opera utterances and one liners.

 

She sees now that it was best that this happened.-----What 2 days after i ignore her calls for a week? These are lines someone says after they have gotten over EVERTHING and are moving on. Its been 2 months of drama and confusion. More BS!!!

 

I have had the best years of my life and i would not change it for the world?----- Ok so you left because why? Maybe its because i was getting better and you couldn't tote the note any longer.

 

This is a simple game of oneupmanship and i knew that she was doing to do something big after i started NC and she found out about the bike i bought. This is NOT how she talks.

 

She is again trying to make me feel sorry for her and make me doubt myself. There is no way in hell a girl who has been abused as a kid like her and has never had a day of therapy, no medication, not ever picked up or even cared to pick up one self help book for the past 12 years and now she is moving on...........AFTER I IGNORE HER BUTT FOR A WEEK. She needs to take a look at the real problem....her mom and dad sucked! They all but abandoned her and they are not there for her now more than ever, they are slowly dying, both of them.

 

Im sorry IM NOT BUYING IT!!! neither is anyone ive talked to toady about this. My mother has done all of these type of things in her previous life and is telling me this is what she is doing.

 

I DO NOT need this! This is her smacking my in the face for last week. My counselor told me she had to have control and me buying a bike and having one hell of time all week takes that control away from her. And this is how she gets it back. By digging our relationship further in to the ground and making me look to be (in her head) the little helpless guy who is sitting here dying for her to come back.

 

Guess what? Im on to it and im not falling for it. Im AM here for her if she wants to grow up and have a LOVING healthy relationship but i AM NOT going to be here for these i gotta be on top games.

 

Can you tell im agitated?

 

 

edit: So much for goodbye, she has text me and emailed me yet again at 1am which she never does..i didne even look just deleted them all. Ahh, next sweet loving GF here i come.

[Chrome Barracuda]

good for you.

 

Erase that letter and keep it moving.

 

The reason she's seeing a councilor is because she has issues. I think she finally admits that.

 

But people with issues has to help themselves. Dont read to much in that letter.

 

Basically bottom line is she ****ed up, she's messed up in the head, it wasnt your fault and basically the more you keep NC with her the better you will feel when you move on.

[sumdude]

Wow, sounds like a lot lot of stuff I heard from my X ... I think it's trying to deal with her own guilt and trying to make it OK.

 

" I'm setting you free so that you can meet someone who can love you the way you deserve to be loved."

 

Big BS, she set herself free ... some people like to think they are the directors of their own soap operas... can you say drama queen?

 

Hang tough, we're gonna be just fine. It's a shame and a loss but nothing you can't handle.

[Toolate]

Yeah you guys are right.

 

But i have 2 problems with all of this.

 

1. She is not seeing a therapist. And if thats a lie this whole letter is a lie.

2 She does this crap after i ignore her for a week.

 

The whole letter is BS, she just telling me what she thinks i want to hear to throw it back in my face. The whole thing is retaliation, i know it i can feel it in my gut. She isnt done with me yet.........my dad told me she wasnt.

 

Im sure ill be back with more. Quite frankly i hope she does keep it up its making it easier for me to move on.

[Toolate]

I am highly pissed right now!

 

Send me a letter telling me of all your problems and dump them in my lap!? And then you have the nerve to sit atop some metaphorical mountaintop and tell me im a great person and that there is a great girl out there for me? WTF ever!!!!I knew that already!!! Tell me something i dont know!

 

This is out and out MANIPULATION!! She has been a jealous person ever since we have been going out. And NOW there is a great girl out there for me?! There isnt one bit of sincerity in the email. She is just getting back on top of things in her mind.

[Toolate]

 

Hang tough, we're gonna be just fine. It's a shame and a loss but nothing you can't handle.

 

Thanks man. It will get better. either way it goes, im learning so much. Learning that i want a loving caring relationship. Learning that i am the **** afterall now that i dont have anyone holding me down nagging me until my soul is gone.

 

To everyone reading this thread. Yes im angry! I feel like she is manipulating me and trying to rewrite how it went down when she is just running. She using me as a backboard for her shots.

[Toolate]

She signed up at a local car message board i visit and sent me a PM titled H.E.L.P.!! This at first scared me....does she really need help? I ended up reading it and it was of course.......nothing....she is having troubles with the civic and she wants me to text her so she can ask me questions.

 

DOES SHE NOT GET IT!!! ITS OVER!!!! OVER!!!OVER!!!!

 

More BS!! H.E.L.P.! Oh i just have a car question. I am so mad at myself for reading it!! But thats how this game is played.

[Ladyjane14]

She signed up at a local car message board i visit and sent me a PM titled H.E.L.P.!! This at first scared me....does she really need help? I ended up reading it and it was of course.......nothing....she is having troubles with the civic and she wants me to text her so she can ask me questions.

 

DOES SHE NOT GET IT!!! ITS OVER!!!! OVER!!!OVER!!!!

 

More BS!! H.E.L.P.! Oh i just have a car question. I am so mad at myself for reading it!! But thats how this game is played.

 

Maybe you could route her emails through a third party. (????)

If you have a friend or somebody who would be willing to edit for content... you'd be able to get 'just the news and not the weather', know what I mean.

 

That way, if there are legitimate issues having to do with finances or whatever, you could be informed without emotional overtones.

 

Meanwhile, get new screen-names for whatever boards you frequent, change your passwords to existing accounts, and close her contact loopholes. Hell, I'd even change my phone numbers.

 

If you're done, you're DONE. No point in being surrounded by her 'drama minefield', never quite certain where to step lest she pop up unexpectedly. If you want NC, set it up so it's difficult for her to contact you.

[Toolate]

Its like she is doing tall this contacting just so she can show how over me she is...over 12 years in 2 months? My guess she hasnt even started getting over it yet. She is so condescendingly lighthearted one minute and angry and threatening the next.

 

I dont know if i want NC, but what else is there for me to do? Anytime she contacts me its about something other than the relationship.

[Toolate]

I now have a new theroy on whats going on besides the obvious.

 

She works at wal-mart. Nothing against wal mart i love it but the people that work there are morons , im sorry,

 

Ive tried to keep her out of the drama at her work and have had some success. But she needs it. She cant help herself. She is so insecure and worried about what these morons at wal mart think of her she gets right in teh middle of it. And tries to bring it home to me but i really dont let her.

 

There was this older women saw me one time come up to her work to talk to my ex, well later she told my EX what she wanted for me to do to her sexually and was very descriptive about it. This happens quite abit and i always hear about it later. There have been several girls to do this.

 

Now of course this is all her fault, she chooses to get in the middle of all this crap. But her insecurities are just to much. She had to go have a guy texting her to make herself feel better to the other wal mart idiots. And now that she has left im sure she is talking to him. But i really dont care, i dont think she is having sex, to be honest she to immature, she would freak out. Sex with her was very boring, i dont think she liked it and i couldnt get her to get into it at all. Abuse victim stuff.

 

And the fact she taking such drastic measures to get ahold of me and giving my friends subtle hints about what she is doing tells me she just wants to hurt me more than she already has.

 

 

My mom who has been on her side half of the time this has been going on and is very anti drama says, do whatever you want. You know hot girls, get some pics of you two on teh bike and send them to her, maybe it will wake her up.

 

I had known i was fighting a losing battle with her and the drama she loves, but i was getting tired of being the bad guys so i just gave up, and we see where we are.......screw her!!! She have that idiot drama all she wants, im not going down that road with her.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Ah tthe more things change the more they stay the same. You need to tell your mom to cut contact with this bitch! First of all she's no realtion and your her son. Her prescence is detrimental to your growth and healing.

 

Go NC with this chick she isnt worth it, now you see the inasnity from just dealing with her.

[Toolate]

Ah tthe more things change the more they stay the same. You need to tell your mom to cut contact with this bitch! First of all she's no realtion and your her son. Her prescence is detrimental to your growth and healing.

 

Go NC with this chick she isnt worth it, now you see the inasnity from just dealing with her.

 

 

Thank you CB , my mother isnt in contact with her, but this is actaully hard for her because she knows what the ex is going through, but she tries.

 

But what she is doing its tearing me apart and thats whats matters at right now! Bitch!! go away! plain and simple!!!

[Toolate]

Now shes knocking on my door. Im sure she has a perfectly legit reason though:confused:. Screw her, she just wants to hurt me more. She can give my mom a call and tell her what she wants. But she probably wont. Im done with her ass.

[Toolate]

I feel like an idiot posting this. After her knocking on my door and me not answering. She comes to my work 2 hours later. She walks in and it stuns me. I get mad and walk out outside to ask her why she is here.

 

 

 

......She wants to talk about us

 

 

Ive been very emtional and hurt and really venting on here and im glad you guys are not humoring me to much. She stays at my work for couple hours and we talk about stuff, almost patching things up. Seeing her was like falling in love with her for the FIRST time. Shes not seeing anyone im sure of. The miscarriage and her being in therapy im still not sure about, it will come out. But she knows we get into counseling if she comes back.

 

Then she goes to leave and i start to get upset, im so afraid she isnt coming back and this is just her reeling me back in. But i stop, wake up and did not let my abandonment issues get the best of me. And did let her go after a bit a arguing and me telling her why i was scared. She says shes also scared because of NC and me turning back to the way i was. She is supposed to be over friday to so i can do some errands with her. We had a couple of nice text me and my buddy went out for a ride downtown and along the river. very nice.

 

We ill see what happens, if nothing does then at least i will know ive done everything i could do.