stupid me

[buggirl]

Hi, I was wondering if I could get some advice. Any help would be REALLY appreciated.

 

My boyfriend and I are very happy, at least I thought so. We've been together since the beginning of fall semester. He's 21, I'm 20. I just met his parents for the first time over break, he met mine. Everything is going along the way it's supposed to, I guess.

 

The problem is that I have this nagging feeling inside me, that something is going to go wrong. I've been in really bad relationships before and I used to do a lot of drugs, but I quit everything last summer, even smoking, cold turkey. Now I think I'm in a healthy relationship for the first time in my life, but I feel weird. I keep thinking everything is going to fall apart or blow up or he's going to get tired of me. Sometimes I do things to sabotage the relationship, like pick fights, and I find myself getting upset at little things, even though for the most part he's wonderful!

 

He's too perfect, is the thing. He takes care of me, praises me, compliments me. He likes to buy me things, make me dinner. He takes care of my dogs when I'm at work (he has a trust fund, so he doesn't have to work), pays vet bills, buys me groceries. We live apart because I think everyone needs their own space (which I why I live alone!). He even cleaned my apartment for me while I was at work the other day.

 

I don't know what's wrong with me. I've never been in a non-abusive relationship before. Maybe I'm all messed up. I was molested as a child and raped when I was 12, but I thought I was pretty much over that. Why do I keep looking for bad things?

 

BG

[No longer...]

Ahh yes -- the ever-elusive "fear of success" -- much bigger than the fear of failure. All comes down to what you feel you deserve... do you deserve something so true and right?

 

It sounds to me like you've worked very hard at making yourself a better person and have accomplished a whole lot of good over the last couple years -- in college, giving up the bad behaviors -- now here's your reward for doing the right thing. Give yourself the privilege of graciously accepting it.

Hi, I was wondering if I could get some advice. Any help would be REALLY appreciated. My boyfriend and I are very happy, at least I thought so. We've been together since the beginning of fall semester. He's 21, I'm 20. I just met his parents for the first time over break, he met mine. Everything is going along the way it's supposed to, I guess. The problem is that I have this nagging feeling inside me, that something is going to go wrong. I've been in really bad relationships before and I used to do a lot of drugs, but I quit everything last summer, even smoking, cold turkey. Now I think I'm in a healthy relationship for the first time in my life, but I feel weird. I keep thinking everything is going to fall apart or blow up or he's going to get tired of me. Sometimes I do things to sabotage the relationship, like pick fights, and I find myself getting upset at little things, even though for the most part he's wonderful!

 

He's too perfect, is the thing. He takes care of me, praises me, compliments me. He likes to buy me things, make me dinner. He takes care of my dogs when I'm at work (he has a trust fund, so he doesn't have to work), pays vet bills, buys me groceries. We live apart because I think everyone needs their own space (which I why I live alone!). He even cleaned my apartment for me while I was at work the other day. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've never been in a non-abusive relationship before. Maybe I'm all messed up. I was molested as a child and raped when I was 12, but I thought I was pretty much over that. Why do I keep looking for bad things? BG

[anonymous]

I'm male, same thing happened to me, after all the bad relationships in my life (5), and a 2 year break from dating, quiting smoking, rehab from drugs, a great new life, great job, car, house and most important new gf, which is like you're saying about your bf, perfect.

 

I paniced the first time after 1 month of being with her, then after 1 year. Now it's 3 years, I'm enjoying this relationship over the top.

 

You should do the same, it's weird I know, everything going perfect, everything is ok, no huge worries. Enjoy this, you deserve it, but you have to admit this to yourself!

 

Perhaps have a talk with him or with one of your friends. But don't scare him off, talk with him in a positive way, that you're happy, etc.

 

But most important, again, don't think the wrong like you're doing now, yes it's ok, you deserve this, admit it, you do, now start enjoying it 110%!