rodc213 Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 How's everyone? Well the title says how I feel. Here's the story... I've been talking with this girl for 6 years now that I met in Peru in June 2001 and ever since she has been my world. She is now 20 and I'm 22. Anyways... I went to Peru in early June of 2001 to finish up my HS with both of us knowing that I will be going back to NY. We had our times when we were together but I was only there for 1 year and a half because I had to get on with real life and studies in NY. We still decided to keep on chatting and stay in contact through internet and phone calls. We have broken up and got back together dozens of times. Some due to her just saying it's very hard doing this or we usually get into an argument or a fight. At one time I did move on to have another relationship with someone else and so did she. When we found out we were lonely again we started talking once again. She has taken trips to the states but never to NY and every time I want to see her by planning a visit we usually get into an argument or fight forcing us to call it off and ruining everything. We get back together as usual. Now, I have recently told her that I was planning to go to Peru this October cause I really want to see her. But then 4 days later(aug 15.) she sent me an email saying that she doesn't want to have a long distance relationship anymore. She said she has been thinking about it a lot and says it's not going to work out anymore, that I have no idea who she is anymore I asked if she was seeing someone and she tells me no and that it had nothing to do with her thinking about what she wrote to me on the email. She tells me that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me or has nothing to do with me not being worth it. Then a few min. later still chatting she says shes not seeing anyone but she likes someone. Then she tells me that every time she likes someone nothing happens because she thinks of me all the time and she never complained about it and doesn't regret it. I don't know really. I get the feeling she's dumping me for someone else this time now that she has said that. But at the same time I know it's hard for us. Cause every time we get back together it gets worse for us. It's been 6 years we haven't seen each other. I know, this is my first time posting but I need help!! Do I have to let go? Could this be another stupid break up? I know this is the first time posting and I'm not so sure what else to include or whatever. If you need to know more let me know please cause this is killing me!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 From what I understand, she probably wanted to work things out with you but every time you both do that, things just get worse. She has liked a few in those times you were apart but you either keep popping up or she thinks of you most of the time, thinking if things could be fixed but as you both already know, you guys always end up arguing. Maybe you should leave her alone so that she can give someone else a shot. You should also give other girls a chance. You're probably better off with someone else... better chemistry.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author rodc213 Posted September 2, 2007 Author Share Posted September 2, 2007 I had this all planned out(again) to see her this October. I really want to see her and I bet she does too... or maybe. Would it be wise to take the chance and give her a visit? Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 You bet or you know for sure she wants you to be there? Link to post Share on other sites
Author rodc213 Posted September 3, 2007 Author Share Posted September 3, 2007 I don't know why I said that. I'm just real stressed out again that I could be missing the chance to see her again and that she called it off again. I feel like taking the chance to see her though. But who knows what I might find out if I do go. I really don't know how she feels about me now. I'm totally lost !!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Go for it. I took a chance to see my MM and it was worth it. Everything turned out the way we wanted... So maybe you should take that chance... Good luck and keep posting! Link to post Share on other sites
Author rodc213 Posted September 8, 2007 Author Share Posted September 8, 2007 Here's a little update. I chatted with her recently and she still says that this is very hard and she thinks that "we are in love with the idea of being together". Ok now I think she's going out with someone else. Maybe I shouldn't take that chance to see her. Now I feel like taking an overdose and jumping off a bridge for wasting 6 years of my life... arggggg Link to post Share on other sites
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 I don't think going to Peru to see her is a good idea. She's already indicated that she's not interested in having a relationship with you. I know, 6 years is a long time. Don't drag it any more, it won't do you any good. It's easier said than done, but you have to cut your losses and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rodc213 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 I probably won't even go. I tried talking to her yesterday and today on MSN but she barely gave me attention, didn't want to give me an update nor ask how I've been. There's obviously something going on with her life that's making her happy without me anymore. I wish her luck. Link to post Share on other sites
eastcoastMan Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 First and foremost SHE STILL LOVES YOU. Go for it. Go to Peru and see her. While there, tell her how you feel. Get it out of your system. Then ask her to move back to NY with you. If you don't take this step you'll forever regret it and wonder "what if". You two are at a crossroads. I personally think you both need to keep things open, see other people, and see where your relationship will grow. Lovers or friends. Either way you'll both learn in the process. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Chuckles84 Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 Go see her. Even if it is just as friends you two owe it to one another to get closure if it's really not meant to be. If it IS meant to be you both will realize it while you're there. Trust me I've been through exactly what you're talking about and to this day I regret not acting on what we had. We too constantly broke up for various reasons, dated other people etc but always found ourselves wanting each other above everything else. She is now married with children but I still love her and wish to have her in my life some day. That's a whole long story so I won't get into it. The main thing I am pushing for you to do though is get closure. Whether it turns out horrible if you go or if you two fall even harder for one another and one of you makes the move to be together. Are either of you right now in the position to move to Peru/NY? If not then no matter how much this trip helps you, you'll just end up back in this same situation. Long distance relationships wont last forever so you have to be dedicated and ready to make the move. The longer the relationship goes on the harder it gets and it will never get easier. Not even the strongest of loves can keep you together with such a large distance wedged between you. You're only human and humans need the contact of the one they love each and every day. She loves you man. She isn't trying to leave you for another man because she hates you or because she lost those feelings for you. She is filling the void in her life that currently you can not do for her. Women more than men seem to need that physical aspect of a relationship. If I were you I would take a serious look at my life and her's and talk about it in depth and be totally honest with one another. If you're willing and able to uproot your life for her then tell her and MEAN IT. Visit her and see where things stand in person and whether or not is truly is 'a dream world' like she so claims. (I've heard that excuse before but its honestly just a way for someone to help themselves let go and move on, but really don't want to. They say things to make them feel better about the decisions they're trying to make.) If things work good on the visit then ACT! Don't sit by and let time pass putting faith in how strong your love is. In the end if it doesn't work out then at least you know. You can always move back and get things rolling here again. But I promise you that you'll always live with the pain of feeling as though you didn't give it your all and it WILL eat you up inside. Link to post Share on other sites
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 Are people here cretins or something? The OP has already stated that the girl is brushing him off, ignoring him, not paying attention, not interested. And still the idiots are telling him to go visit her for "true love". Seriously. I give up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rodc213 Posted September 19, 2007 Author Share Posted September 19, 2007 Update: she tells me after 2 days of not answering my emails that she is seeing someone else. It hasn't even been a month and she decides to get with someone. The email she sent me a few weeks back I guess was a way to get rid of me for this new guy. Am I hurt? Yeah but I'm not going psycho. It shows what kind of a girl she is in my book. Someone weak in character. I wish her luck ahead and deleted/blocked her from every possible way to get in contact with. I thank everyone who took the time to spread their opinions. I'm still young and there are 4720563475934675 women out there. Time to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Good call, Rodc213. Time to move on to someone with whom you can be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
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