Do I tell my b/f what his best mate said to me?

[Kat]

I have always seen the Two best mates and a girl routine and know it always ends up badly.

 

My b/f and I had a rather large fight last night and I came home and was bored so I hopped on chat. My b/f's best mate was on there and we struck up a convo. He started talking about his women and I talked about my man. Mainly he wanted to know what to do with his women and if he should stay. He had troubles in his relationship and I told him the way that me and my b/'f did or handled things

He started saying things like

(inserted from chat)

Mate:

Maybe we SHOULD have gone out

Me:

hahahaha, Na thanks dude. You are a great mate, but there is no way I would go out with a guy like you

Mate:

why not just out of interest

Mate:

I'm not offended

Me:

I don't like guys who cheat on me, and who don't have their own mind

Mate:

hahahaha

Mate:

yeah but who is to say I would have been like this (or that) if I had broken up with (his other half) and gone out with you

Mate:

this is a pointless argument

Mate:

I'll stop now

Me:

Thanks dude, You are starting to freak me out

Mate:

really?

Mate

thought you had a thicker hide girl

Me:

Not when my b/f's best mate starts reminiscing about what could of happened between me and him. That **** freaks me out

Mate:

Hashanah

Mate:

Okay

Mate:

Message heard loud and clear

 

then later on in the convo he said after I spoke of me and my b/f maybe breaking up

Mate:

And if you do, I think I will admire you all the more for it

Me:

You will admire me for breaking up with (my b/f)?

Mate:

yeah

Mate:

instead of putting yourself through his ****

Mate:

which you've been doing for a while now

 

 

Last night we left (b/f and I) on bad terms with the drunken words "I don't want to go out with you" (note he was drunk and I gave him an ultimatum which didn't go down too well, as you can see).

 

I assume out of this we are going to talk about things, if not oh well. But I am worried about whether or not I tell my b/f what his best mate said. I may be reading more into it but it has me worried

[Tony T]

You handled yourself very well on chat. Why stir up a lot of crap that doesn't need to be stirred. It's likely this guy was drunk or otherwise in a weird emotional state. If he does it again, then by all means tell your guy.

 

I think your major problem right now is between you and your boyfriend...and not you and this jerky, stupid buddy of his.

 

As you move on in life, you will find that more often than not keeping the mouth shut about certain things is the very best way to go. In the total scheme of things, your little chat was pretty meaningless and it would be a shame to make a major scandal out of it.

[Just A Girl2]

Kat, this isn't really related to your post here, but I've thought it before and heck, why not just ask.

 

You've described in great detail, your current living situation...with a pothead for a mother and brother, a filthy home (with bugs I believe?), etc.

 

When you're out with your boyfriend, who is left to watch your daughter? Does the poor little thing have to be babysat by doper Grandma in an unhygienic environment? If so, do you think this is really fitting and safe? SO maybe your Mom isn't smoking up while caring for her, but what about your brother and/or his friends? Is pot smoking being done while your little girl is in the home? If so, do you think this is a good environment for her?

 

What if for some reason, your Mom's home was busted by the cops......do you know that if your child were found there, under their care, in a home with illegal activity going on, that Australia's equivalent of Child Protective Services could be called and her removed?

 

I sure hope you get things organized ASAP to get yourself out of there. If I were in your shoes, I'd live in a tiny bachelor suite with a roommate if I had to, to keep my innocent child from an atmosphere of drugs, filth and horrible role models.

[Kat]

Originally posted by Just A Girl2

Kat, this isn't really related to your post here, but I've thought it before and heck, why not just ask.

 

You've described in great detail, your current living situation...with a pothead for a mother and brother, a filthy home (with bugs I believe?), etc.

 

When you're out with your boyfriend, who is left to watch your daughter? Does the poor little thing have to be babysat by doper Grandma in an unhygienic environment? If so, do you think this is really fitting and safe? SO maybe your Mom isn't smoking up while caring for her, but what about your brother and/or his friends? Is pot smoking being done while your little girl is in the home? If so, do you think this is a good environment for her?

 

What if for some reason, your Mom's home was busted by the cops......do you know that if your child were found there, under their care, in a home with illegal activity going on, that Australia's equivalent of Child Protective Services could be called and her removed?

 

I sure hope you get things organized ASAP to get yourself out of there. If I were in your shoes, I'd live in a tiny bachelor suite with a roommate if I had to, to keep my innocent child from an atmosphere of drugs, filth and horrible role models.

 

Last night we went over to a mates house to have a few drinks and play a few cards. Hope came with us and slept in a spare bed. I do not leave Hope with my mother or brother if they are drunk or anythink like that. I am very please and proud of teh fact I have friends that allow me to include my daughter and that I am mature enough to know when it is too much and when I have to pass up options to go out because my daughter is more important!

[Kat]

I have spoken with him, and you are right Tony, this is one of those times where nothing needs to be said. Knowing me I took the comments out of context and read too much into them. I have my b/f and he has his mate, and me and his mate are still mates and that is all that matters. When his mate steps over the line that is when I will say something to his mate and make it clear.