Can someone provide some insight.

[Shawn S]

Can someone please give me their opinion about what these actions could mean. A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine(Jess) asked me to do a favor for her. I did it and she wanted to take me out to a late lunch afterwards. Jess came by and picked me up on her way home from work and we went back to her place so she could change clothes. She needed to drop off some paper work at her college first so she handed me a binder and asked me to pull out certain documents for her while she changed. I wasn't really paying that close attention to what she had changed into since I was looking for the documents she needed. But, when we got back into the car Jess made a comment about her top. It was some kind of tank top with spaghetti straps that had buttons at the top. She said "this top is too small, I can't even keep these buttons buttoned." I didn't think too much of it at the time but while we were at the restaurant she kept leaning in closer and closer and was smiling and laughing a lot while maintaining eye contact. I made sure that I maintained eye contact myself since I didn't want to look down her top since it seemed like that was what she wanted me to do. She also kept twirling her hair around her finger. I have read that these are all signs of flirting but since she is married to a friend this complicates things a lot. She has a tendency to touch me a lot and make strange comments amongst other things (please see my previous post about her) that I can't seem to figure out. There are times when I see her and she is indifferent toward me and other times she acts the same way she did on the day mentioned above and everything in between.

 

I had also been considering entering an accelerated program at the same college but wasn't sure it was what I wanted to do since it's not exactly what my degree is in but I seem to be good at it. I'm pretty much guaranteed a job with the tech company sponsoring it with a very nice salary. Everyone who knew about it told me that I was smart enough to do it but if it wasn't what I wanted and wouldn't make me happy that I shouldn't let anyone talk me into it. The instructors at the college were begging me to come into the program. Jess was insistent that I do it and kept hounding me about it. Even after the first couple of weeks when I was thinking about quiting she kept telling me that I wasn't and kept making comments that I had to take care of her and her husband(James). Then one day Jess made that same comment and said "What if James starts falling apart, you have to help take care of him." He has some medical issues that complicates his health. Then Jess said "What if you get married one day, your family would be well off since the salary is so high."

 

I almost get the impression that Jess looks at me as a backup in a way in case something happens to James because of his health. I also feel like she is purposely positioning me so that if that were to happen she has me where she wants me. Jess has told me before that she would like to be a stay at home mom and at this time that isn't a possibility since she has to be the main bread winner if she and James even have children. However if I do finish the program and I'm hired I could provide that for her and I think that may be how she views the whole situation since she has been so insistent that I finish the program and I'm offered a position. I went over a lot of this in my previous post a lot more detail is provided there.

[Calibabe2007]

I don't understand why you are obligated to support these people. Maybe I'm out in left field, but shouldn't they have jobs of their own and pay their own bills??? Jess sounds like a total weirdo and if I were you I would steer clear of these people at any cost!

[norajane]

I almost get the impression that Jess looks at me as a backup in a way in case something happens to James because of his health. I also feel like she is purposely positioning me so that if that were to happen she has me where she wants me. Jess has told me before that she would like to be a stay at home mom and at this time that isn't a possibility since she has to be the main bread winner if she and James even have children. However if I do finish the program and I'm hired I could provide that for her and I think that may be how she views the whole situation since she has been so insistent that I finish the program and I'm offered a position. I went over a lot of this in my previous post a lot more detail is provided there.

 

Huh? Why would she expect you to take care of her and her husband?

 

And why are you even asking these questions? Your life is YOUR life, and you have no responsibility nor obligation to her or her husband or that she wants to be a stay at home mom, or whatever.

 

What is YOUR interest in her? Whatever it is, drop it. She's married, and she's a user, and completely insane as well if she is expecting you to take care of her, her husband, and some children that she hasn't had yet.