Author Treatment Posted September 16, 2007 Author Share Posted September 16, 2007 Well, that's something new compare to your earlier posts which were almost yelling or even attacking me. So, how's your wife doing? Does she still cry? Sorry, but I kept feeling like things were getting twisted. Right now she is at church she said she wanted to go alone today. She still cries and questions and often stares off into space. She is not sleeping well and is not eating well. She has told me that she forgives me but I don't think she really has yet so I'm not holding her to it. I think that when she really forgives me she will also be more at peace. I keep telling her how much I love her and that I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
BestAdvisor1 Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 Right now she is at church she said she wanted to go alone today. She still cries and questions and often stares off into space. She is not sleeping well and is not eating well. She has told me that she forgives me but I don't think she really has yet so I'm not holding her to it. I think that when she really forgives me she will also be more at peace. I keep telling her how much I love her and that I'm sorry. I think she is going to need more than just words to show her how much you still love and care for her; she is going to need actions and physical comfort from you. When she cries in front of you, do you cry with her? What do you do when you see her crying? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Treatment Posted September 16, 2007 Author Share Posted September 16, 2007 I think she is going to need more than just words to show her how much you still love and care for her; she is going to need actions and physical comfort from you. When she cries in front of you, do you cry with her? What do you do when you see her crying? I hold her and wipe her tears. I've cried and cried myself but most of the time it is when my wife is not with me as I have been trying to be strong. When I cry in front of her she attempts to comfort me and that just feels wrong. We sit together and I often have her sit on my lap. We make love often. I make special meals for her and we go for walks together. We are dating again. Link to post Share on other sites
BestAdvisor1 Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 I hold her and wipe her tears. I've cried and cried myself but most of the time it is when my wife is not with me as I have been trying to be strong. When I cry in front of her she attempts to comfort me and that just feels wrong. We sit together and I often have her sit on my lap. We make love often. I make special meals for her and we go for walks together. We are dating again. Continue what you're doing, you both will be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 You gradually moved deeper and deeper into a romantic relationship with her in your correspondence In her mind yes, it was just that, but in his mind, it wasn't. As horrible as it is (and T has been honest about it too) for him, it was an ego feed. A need that this OW met for him - To make HIM feel good about himself.) Yeah he led her on, but again, the 'intention' of falling for this OW was NEVER there. Emotionally or sexually. Thank-you. Helpful advice, but a bit hard to do. How do you "put her on ignore"? Go to your profile and there's somewhere an option to add a buddy or ignore. Well, hopefully soon the OW will leave you and your wife alone. She's making a fool of herself by pushing herself into your lives. Sure, the whole situation may have been handled the wrong way, but bottomline now is - She has to leave you alone. Letting her know that if her behaviour continues, the consquence will involve the police SHOULD put an end to all this stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 In her mind yes, it was just that, but in his mind, it wasn't. As horrible as it is (and T has been honest about it too) for him, it was an ego feed. A need that this OW met for him - To make HIM feel good about himself.) Yeah he led her on, but again, the 'intention' of falling for this OW was NEVER there. Emotionally or sexually. Oh, so because the INTENTION wasn't there on his part, that makes it OK for him to lead on another human being, just for the fun of it - only to drop her like yesterday's news when he realizes it's threatening his status quo. And the fact that it was just a GAME to him, makes the OW's overreaction completely unjustified. Right. And how do you know Treatment has been honest about everything? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 And how do you know Treatment has been honest about everything? Why would he lie to complete strangers on an advice forum if he's really here to get help? What good would that do for him? I didn't say it was OK for him to lead her on, I'm just saying that in his mind, or so he says, the intention of affair wasn't IN his head. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 Why would he lie to complete strangers on an advice forum if he's really here to get help? What good would that do for him? Because his W is probably reading, or will be. Link to post Share on other sites
StaringContest Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 Treatment, if you wanna make a mad dash for the back door, I'll cover ya, buddy. The estrogen's flyin in here! *ducks the inevitable spiked heels thrown in his direction* Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 Because his W is probably reading, or will be. Yeah so? He told her about LS to begin with, so I don't think there's going to be a problem with her reading his posts. If anything, it will help them work through their issues and make their marriage stronger. That's the bottomline of it. Treatment, if you wanna make a mad dash for the back door, I'll cover ya, buddy. The estrogen's flyin in here! *ducks the inevitable spiked heels thrown in his direction* Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 Yeah so? He told her about LS to begin with, so I don't think there's going to be a problem with her reading his posts. If anything, it will help them work through their issues and make their marriage stronger. That's the bottomline of it. WWIU, you are a master at deflection when you know you can't win the debate. The original issue that I questioned was whether Treatment was telling the truth (as you claimed) here on LS - not whether it was going to be a problem for his W to read it. In fact, I think he's making sure that it WON'T be a problem for her to read it. But is it the truth? Doesn't she deserve that? To be told the full and unvarnished truth? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 Why would he lie to complete strangers on an advice forum if he's really here to get help? What good would that do for him? Again, this is my original response. In which you replied Because his W is probably reading, or will be. In fact, I think he's making sure that it WON'T be a problem for her to read it. But is it the truth? Doesn't she deserve that? To be told the full and unvarnished truth? I think what he's said in his posts from day one (and back then last thing on his mind was showing or telling his wife about this forum, so he can't take back what he's already said) is honest. I didn't know you kept track, and I wasn't looking at this as some huge debate that we were having. You have your opinions and thoughts and I have mine. You aren't arguing, neither am I - We're having a dicussion and I don't really care if I'm right or wrong here as it really doesn't matter. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 I don't really care if I'm right or wrong here as it really doesn't matter. Well, THAT puts a lot of clout in your posts!! Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 Treatment, if you wanna make a mad dash for the back door, I'll cover ya, buddy. The estrogen's flyin in here! *ducks the inevitable spiked heels thrown in his direction* Gezzz...no kidding. What gets me thought is when someone like OP comes on, everyone tries to get them to tell their SO and then once they do, LS hellins come out. Again this is an example of why OW shouldn't try to get involved with MM. 99% of the time get hurt IMO. Continue what you're doing, you both will be fine. Yeah I agree. Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 I think what he's said in his posts from day one (and back then last thing on his mind was showing or telling his wife about this forum, so he can't take back what he's already said) is honest. OPENBOOK: Whichwayisup is correct... I mentioned early on that he could show his wife the posts, and he didn't think it appropriate at the time. The latest posts are just going to cause confusion for his wife if she ever did read it... sorry, but it's like you want to cause drama. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 OPENBOOK: Whichwayisup is correct... I mentioned early on that he could show his wife the posts, and he didn't think it appropriate at the time. The latest posts are just going to cause confusion for his wife if she ever did read it... sorry, but it's like you want to cause drama. Ok, "Uncle." I give up. It's useless trying to bring out the truth here. It would apparently cause too much drama. Y'all have fun. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 It's useless trying to bring out the truth here. Treatment is damned if he does or damned if he doesn't. Which truth do you mean? Between people bantering on which is the truth or him directly? Link to post Share on other sites
StaringContest Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 Hey, T. I found this link that might help you. I think it's ok for me to post it here since the site doesn't have any ads. I think the site talks about involving the police. I know you don't want to have to go that route, but in case it becomes necessary. There's also some things they mention that I hadn't heard of called Anonymous Call Rejection and Privacy Manager. You might look into that. http://www.privacyrights.org/fs/fs3-hrs2.htm You can thank my insomnia. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Treatment Posted September 17, 2007 Author Share Posted September 17, 2007 By the time I got around to reading this though we had already called both the phone company and the police. The woman has now made specific and fearful threats towards my wife. My home computer is now a "crime scene". Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 By the time I got around to reading this though we had already called both the phone company and the police. The woman has now made specific and fearful threats towards my wife. My home computer is now a "crime scene". What did she say?! Oh my gosh! She has gone off the deep-end now. I had sympathy for her hurt feelings, but hurt feelings do not justify threatening someone! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 I'm sorry to hear that news, but am glad to hear that the police are involved. You two stay safe! I hope that this OW atleast gets the help she needs, professionally speaking because what she is doing is NOT normal behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Whoa! Talk about drama. Well, at least I'm off the hook. Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Whoa! Talk about drama. Well, at least I'm off the hook. Lol, you're funny. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 T - Glad you've involved the police. Did the threat come via email? Depends on the state you (and the OW) live in, she could be looking at some pretty severe penalties. OB ??? what do you mean? Link to post Share on other sites
StaringContest Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 By the time I got around to reading this though we had already called both the phone company and the police. The woman has now made specific and fearful threats towards my wife. My home computer is now a "crime scene". Damn. Sorry to hear that. I don't expect you to talk much about it, but i'm guessing you read her emails. Why threaten the innocent party? I just don't get some people. Hope you and you wife stay safe and well. Link to post Share on other sites
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