My wife doesn't know

[IpAncA]

Good thing you didn't have an affair with her and just ended it. I think that would have been worse.

[Havn_a_life]

I'm rooting for this guy, too. He does sound sincere.

I'm just happy to hear there are MM out there who don't act on their baser side and get "a piece" just cause it's thrown at them.

That shows this guy's inner self, in my book.

 

I think he was right to tell his W, and they both need to hold a united front against this bunny boiler wannabe.

This woman should just collect what self respect she has left and move on. She's only making it harder on herself.

It won't make the guy feel bad for her or want her, just more impatient and eager to get her away from him and his family for good.

[Havn_a_life]

I think the whole point people should take from this thread, particularly Treatment, is that this WAS an affair!

 

It was an emotional affair, but the experts will tell you that they are just as damaging 2 the marriage as a physical one.

 

It's the deceit that most BSs are hurt by the most, not whether it's an EA or a PA.

 

Now, Treatment appears 2 be dealing with a "fatal attraction" OW.

 

-ol' 2long

 

 

It seems Treatment's BW is dealing with the EA very well. I commend her very much.

[IpAncA]

I think the whole point people should take from this thread, particularly Treatment, is that this WAS an affair!

 

It was an emotional affair, but the experts will tell you that they are just as damaging 2 the marriage as a physical one.

 

It's the deceit that most BSs are hurt by the most, not whether it's an EA or a PA.

 

Now, Treatment appears 2 be dealing with a "fatal attraction" OW.

 

-ol' 2long

 

I don't think I'd put it as a full blown EA. It would depend on what was in the e-mails/conversations and what was going thru OP's mind. He did claim he was just messing around/playing games so I don't know.

[Havn_a_life]

Maybe this is karma's way of telling Treatment, hey you might not have actually had a sexual relationship with the woman but still, here's some extra trouble so's you won't try this one again on any other woman.

No offense against Treatment, of course, but sometimes life throws some curve balls at ya, just to make sure you've learned a lesson.

 

I do hope this OW will move on eventually. She's too unstable. If the authorities are involved, maybe she'll get the hint before it gets to out of control.

[Treatment]

We bought a new computer. The threats were face to face and directed specifically at my wife. I don't know if it's OK to say what happened so I won't do that.

 

My wife hired a private investigator as she is not satisfied with the information the police are willing to provide. It turns out that her claim to be moving in with her boyfriend when she moved away from here was a lie. A woman she worked with down here said she moved thinking it would spur my interest in her. It also turns out that I'm not the first married man she has had this situation with.

 

What my wife is finding out has helped her feel better and I can tell she is feeling more in control again. My attitude towards women has taken what I believe is a permanent shift and that is probably a good thing. It's obvious I didn't understand some women. The combination of this incident and the the attitude of many women on this site has been an eye opener and my attitude now is much more cold and harsh but probably more realistic.

 

I've found that my wife does love me which I had thought she didn't. We both have had it knocked into us that we need to talk more and deeper. Both of us had fallen into the habit of protecting each other from our anger That didn't work we just got colder. Each night when we get home from work now we spend an hour talking the counselor suggested it and it's working good. Things are looking good. I expect that my wife will still have difficulties for awhile but I think we're going to pull through this. In some ways the woman physical attack and threats have solidified us. It seemed my wife needed to see my reaction to the woman before she could believe that I honestly was not interested in her.

 

I've realized that my lifelong tendency to live on the edge and put myself in dangerous situations is only good for physical danger and only for myself. I will not put my wife into a situation like this again.

[Jinnah]

It turns out that her claim to be moving in with her boyfriend when she moved away from here was a lie. A woman she worked with down here said she moved thinking it would spur my interest in her. It also turns out that I'm not the first married man she has had this situation with...

 

 

Wow, she sounds like a piece of work. That's crazy.

 

 

...My attitude towards women has taken what I believe is a permanent shift and that is probably a good thing. It's obvious I didn't understand some women. The combination of this incident and the the attitude of many women on this site has been an eye opener and my attitude now is much more cold and harsh but probably more realistic...

 

 

Treatment, not all women are like this, and I do not even think most are... but they are out there and they disguise themselves. Just stay away from women that do not have your wife's approval... I bet your wife could tell you which women are that way. If your wife does not like a particular woman, there is probably a reason.

 

...In some ways the woman physical attack and threats have solidified us. It seemed my wife needed to see my reaction to the woman before she could believe that I honestly was not interested in her...

 

 

Physical attack? She needs to seek help.

 

 

...I've realized that my lifelong tendency to live on the edge and put myself in dangerous situations is only good for physical danger and only for myself. I will not put my wife into a situation like this again.

 

Great realization.

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry, I messed up the multi-quote again, so my responses are above in bold.

[whichwayisup]

I'm glad that this is being dealt with and your wife has hired a PI. Better to be completely safe than sorry.

 

I'm also happy to hear that things are better between you and your wife. This awful situation IS awful and it sucks, but atleast you both WILL come out stronger - Together!

 

As for the comment about women: Not all are like that. Only certain ones who are looking for MORE than just an honest friendship. Men and women CAN be friends, as long as both know the rules, don't cross the lines and have respect for eachother. Just stay away from women who are lonely and looking for companionship...And, any women you are friends with, involve your wife more. Make sure she knows them as well.

[Ladyjane14]

My attitude towards women has taken what I believe is a permanent shift and that is probably a good thing. It's obvious I didn't understand some women. The combination of this incident and the the attitude of many women on this site has been an eye opener and my attitude now is much more cold and harsh but probably more realistic.

 

 

:lmao: Yeah... ten minutes in the OM/OW forum and you'll never believe that girls are all "sugar and spice and everything nice" again. That's takin' the cure, man.

 

Seriously though, I think it's important that we remind ourselves sometimes that LS and other formats like it are a microcosm. More often than not, what we see in here is the exception rather than the rule. And while it's true that bunny-boilers happen, you don't want to end up altogether jaded by the experience of running across one.

Strong, logical women happen too, right? Sounds to me like maybe you married one.

 

Keep it all in context is what I'm saying.

[Treatment]

yes'm I understand

 

(thank-you)

[Bobby NoBrains]

Share this with your wife. Write her a letter and tell her everything that you've just said here. And, reaffirm your love for her and you'll do all that it takes to make it right again.

 

wwiu wrote this a while back, but I think it's good advice. Let your wife see this forum post if you are up to it. It tells of your feelings, your fears, everything. It's against you also, but it's all the truth and it also shows your regrets.

 

Though after everything else that's happened she might not need it, but it still might help. Good luck ...

 

Just my two bits ..

 

Bobby

[Treatment]

I wanted to give everyone who cared enough to write on this that things are going good between me and my wife. The restraining order seems to be working and we have had no further instances of anger. Our lawyer is the only person who now has access to the email account so that any additional emails will only be fuel for any harassment suit that we may need to bring in the future.

 

My wife is going through ups and downs but I feel very hopeful that things will be OK. She is doing IC and we are going to MC. We've been talking the way we used to do. The television has been disconnected as we both agreed that it had become a problem. Instead of discussion we would watch a program. We talked about shutting down our Internet access as well but decided that it would be too much of a problem for my wife to handle her business without it.

 

I want to thank the people who encouraged me to tell my wife. If I had not I think this would have had a different outcome. As it was my wife was somewhat prepared for the OW. My wife was hurt bad enough that she required stitches but she was so proud of herself for being strong and having her wits about her that in the end I think that she feels better about herself than she had. I also think that if my wife had been blindsided that she would have been less inclined to believe me. Although she didn't know it the OW has actually helped my wife forgive me.

 

Again I want to thank those people who were helpful. Those of you who only wanted to sharpen their claws I pity you.

[BestAdvisor1]

I wanted to give everyone who cared enough to write on this that things are going good between me and my wife.

 

I want to thank the people who encouraged me to tell my wife.

 

Again I want to thank those people who were helpful.

 

I hope I'm one of those people whom you're refering to.

 

I'm glad things are going so well now and it seems that both of you are putting lots of effort into this by even unplugging the TV. Good for you.

[Treatment]

I hope I'm one of those people whom you're refering to.

 

I'm glad things are going so well now and it seems that both of you are putting lots of effort into this by even unplugging the TV. Good for you.

 

Yes, I do include you. Thank-you.

[Jinnah]

My wife was hurt bad enough that she required stitches

 

What the...? I didn't know the OW went this crazy!! How did this happen? Oh my gosh. I actually felt bad that this woman had her feelings hurt, but forget that! She's INSANE!!!

[Havn_a_life]

I missed the part where the OW assaulted your W, as well.

Your W is a very brave and loving person. Bless her, and you for realizing what a valuable person you're M to.

[norajane]

We bought a new computer. The threats were face to face and directed specifically at my wife. I don't know if it's OK to say what happened so I won't do that.

 

My wife hired a private investigator as she is not satisfied with the information the police are willing to provide. It turns out that her claim to be moving in with her boyfriend when she moved away from here was a lie. A woman she worked with down here said she moved thinking it would spur my interest in her. It also turns out that I'm not the first married man she has had this situation with.

 

What my wife is finding out has helped her feel better and I can tell she is feeling more in control again. My attitude towards women has taken what I believe is a permanent shift and that is probably a good thing. It's obvious I didn't understand some women. The combination of this incident and the the attitude of many women on this site has been an eye opener and my attitude now is much more cold and harsh but probably more realistic.

 

I've found that my wife does love me which I had thought she didn't. We both have had it knocked into us that we need to talk more and deeper. Both of us had fallen into the habit of protecting each other from our anger That didn't work we just got colder. Each night when we get home from work now we spend an hour talking the counselor suggested it and it's working good. Things are looking good. I expect that my wife will still have difficulties for awhile but I think we're going to pull through this. In some ways the woman physical attack and threats have solidified us. It seemed my wife needed to see my reaction to the woman before she could believe that I honestly was not interested in her.

 

I've realized that my lifelong tendency to live on the edge and put myself in dangerous situations is only good for physical danger and only for myself. I will not put my wife into a situation like this again.

My wife was hurt bad enough that she required stitches

 

So the OW physically attacked your wife to the point your wife needed stitches.

 

You now have a restraining order, a private investigator, and a lawyer.

 

I hope you realize how amazingly lucky you are that your wife married you for better or for worse. Because you certainly brought a lot of worse into her life. I hope you are capable of bringing in a lot better for the future.

 

Maybe once your wife heals from her stitches, you could take her away on a vacation - FAR, FAR AWAY - so your wife can breathe in a little fresh air without having to worry about restraining orders and doctor bills and crime scenes.

 

Take her somewhere she's always wanted to go, and make sure the hotel has a spa with massages. I can imagine that she would need some pampering and stress relief right about now.

[whichwayisup]

My wife was hurt bad enough that she required stitches

 

I hope this OW gets some jail time. What a nutcase!

 

And, I'm glad that the two of you have used this to better yourselves, and your marriage. A wake up call, just sucks that the OW physically hurt your wife. I do hope she is okay and doesn't let this do any damage to her...Though, it seems your wife is one classy and strong lady!

 

Good luck and I hope you keep posting and give updates...

[StaringContest]

Glad it's working out for you. You're a lucky man. I agree with NJ. Take your wife someplace nice... very nice.

[silktricks]

contratulations on things working out. Like WWIU said, do keep us posted on your future. (And do take your wife someplace nice. Tahiti sounds good.....)

[Havn_a_life]

Has treatment posted about the details of what happened to his W, from the OW that required her to have stitches?

Did he post it on another thread and I missed it?

[norajane]

Has treatment posted about the details of what happened to his W, from the OW that required her to have stitches?

Did he post it on another thread and I missed it?

 

I don't believe he did - he wasn't sure if he should post the details. Might be a good idea to keep quiet about it since the police and their attorney are involved at this point. The internet is hardly private!

[Havn_a_life]

Oh! understood.

Sad though that it happened at all to the BW. I don't get why spouses have to put their loved ones into these kinds of situations.

 

My H told his OW that if I ever found out I'd leave him.

A week later (from his estimations)I received a call from someone telling me about my H's A.

I received a call some weeks after that, telling me who the OW was, her address and phone #. Funny, huh?

iIguess the OW had hoped I'd be some kind of freak and hunt her down at her home, just so she could have me arrested and thrown into jail.

Yeah, that would've won my H's heart to her side.

[IpAncA]

I wanted to give everyone who cared enough to write on this that things are going good between me and my wife. The restraining order seems to be working and we have had no further instances of anger. Our lawyer is the only person who now has access to the email account so that any additional emails will only be fuel for any harassment suit that we may need to bring in the future.

 

My wife is going through ups and downs but I feel very hopeful that things will be OK. She is doing IC and we are going to MC. We've been talking the way we used to do. The television has been disconnected as we both agreed that it had become a problem. Instead of discussion we would watch a program. We talked about shutting down our Internet access as well but decided that it would be too much of a problem for my wife to handle her business without it.

 

I want to thank the people who encouraged me to tell my wife. If I had not I think this would have had a different outcome. As it was my wife was somewhat prepared for the OW. My wife was hurt bad enough that she required stitches but she was so proud of herself for being strong and having her wits about her that in the end I think that she feels better about herself than she had. I also think that if my wife had been blindsided that she would have been less inclined to believe me. Although she didn't know it the OW has actually helped my wife forgive me.

 

Again I want to thank those people who were helpful. Those of you who only wanted to sharpen their claws I pity you.

 

Wooo so the OW really did end up going psycho. Glad to hear your W is okay. That's scary.

 

I hope things work out between you two I really do. It might be hard long road but eventually it will be a happy one. Best of luck.

[mourningMM]

to the restraining order.

 

Good luck.