Brother/Father Relationship Expectation

[IpAncA]

Over the years my brother has down some dumb crap and still continues to do so. Judgemental of me? Yes but I respect it's his life and he's happy.

 

Now over the years my father has held both of us in high expectations. More my brother than me and my brother continues not to met those expectations. This make me real sad because you'd think all a parent would want is to have their children happy and living life to the fullest. Instead since my brother didn't do what my father would have done, he's a lost cause.

 

Many times my father and I have chatted about him and the phrase I always here is "he should have done it sooner then later" or "if he would have done this." I'm always defending him like he's on trial. Sure I agree he has messed up big time but he's doing something about it now. I guess I can't stress that enough to him. He just doesn't listen and holds grudges.

 

Now I've never mentioned to my brother how my parents feel about him and I feel guilty about it because I think he should know what's said behind closed doors. Sure I've overheard things said about me and I can take it but certain things shouldn't be said IMO.

 

Now here's where I come into play. I also have expectations placed on me by him that I am meeting. I try to live my life as best I can without making major mistakes. I just can't help wonder what he thinks about me and if I'm a lost cause when I don't do something I shouldn't do. I just don't like the pressure of being his successor because of his past mistakes and him not marrying someone who made as much money as him (he'll never admitt that btw).

 

I just don't understand why there has to be expectations so high. It's impossible to meet them and I can't do it anymore and I feel so bad for my brother because here he thinks so highly of his father and yet his father doesn't give it back unless he's does something right.

 

Anyhow I thought I'd post about it because I'm tired of all this. Does anyone else have expectations or know what I'm talking about?

 

End Rant/

[Cobra_X30]

LOL... Yeah I know alot about family expectations. My dad is pretty much the king of unreal expectations!

 

So, what kind of expectations are you dealing with?

[IpAncA]

LOL... Yeah I know alot about family expectations. My dad is pretty much the king of unreal expectations!

 

So, what kind of expectations are you dealing with?

 

I can't believe someone actually responded. Thanks Cobra.

 

The only expectation I deal with is not messing anything up and when I do, I get all that guilty stuff on me. So you can imagine how much pressure that is.

 

I'm always hearing "if I know what I did then." But what I'm hearing is "since I know what I do know, don't do this and this" or "make sure you do this because you'll regret it."

 

BUT at the same time I hear "don't look at me, I don't make your decisions...it's your own life do whatever." Yeah okay. More like do what you want as long as it's what I want.

 

So since my brother failed all looks are to me and I know I shouldn't care what others think but I can't help it...I do.

[brooke 11]

oh i think we can all relate to that in some way or form!

my belief is that fathers expect more from their daughters, more in the sense that boys will be boys and do stupid things but girls should know better.

 

the neighbours next door have such high expectations of their children that if they don't achieve perfect scores, they are not allowed to go and play. btw, if they do achieve perfect scores, they are granted 1 hour playtime a week. any bet that these kids will rebel when they are older.

[IpAncA]

oh i think we can all relate to that in some way or form!

my belief is that fathers expect more from their daughters, more in the sense that boys will be boys and do stupid things but girls should know better.

 

Sucks for me. Shouldn't be like that though. And you whats really bad is that if my brother didn't mess somethings up I bet you all anything I would have been compared to him.

 

 

the neighbours next door have such high expectations of their children that if they don't achieve perfect scores, they are not allowed to go and play. btw, if they do achieve perfect scores, they are granted 1 hour playtime a week. any bet that these kids will rebel when they are older.

 

Yeah I'll assume they will.