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[Impudent Oyster]

Iwhen I wind up on on a thread in this category, it's because the title makes me curious and, at times, I feel I want to weigh in. For example, when a well known prostitute on this forum

 

LOL at "well known prostitute on this forum"..

[FrequentFlyer]

I hate my space. Rarely does any good ever come from it.

[Jinnah]

I'm not surprised that she isn't over it.

 

Being cheated on is a lot different than being dumped by your boyfriend. When you get dumped, you pick up and you move on - you have a wound, and it heals over, scars over and fades. When you get cheated on, its like having emotional herpes on your heart. When you least expect it, it flares up in the form of 'triggers' just as painfully as it did when you found out. If you stay with the cheater, it will always be this way. Always. She isn't quite moving on, because when you are cheated on you never quite heal. Just like medical herpes, emotional herpes is something for which there is no cure. You only live between flare ups, hoping to minimize the times they happen and the minimize the pain when they do.

 

So... yes, in a sense you are the lucky one. You moved on. You healed. She is stuck with what she has for as long as she stays with him, and she knows it. I expect on some level she envies you for moving on with your life and being happy, while she will have this incurable pain which will come and go: but most importantly always be festering dormant there in her heart.

 

LucreziaBorgia, you are very articulate. I was thinking similarly, but you put it into much better words.

 

OP, I feel bad for you and his wife. You were both lied to and treated very badly. It is harder for her because that is her husband... it's bad when a boyfriend does something like that, but sooo much worse for a spouse. Just try to understand that she is hurt, and consider that he probably lied to her about you and made it seem as if you knew and pursued him, etc... he probably placed all the blame on you. Be happy you weren't married to him!

[Jinnah]

 

I did not know my MM was married. When the truth came out I broke off the relationship. He then left his wife and begged me for a second chance and asked me to marry him. I eventually agreed to give him another chance. His W then threatened to kill herself, emotionally abused their kids and then threatened to make sure he would never again see his step daughter again. When that didn’t work she agreed to let him screw other women, as long as he never talked to me again. He eventually caved.

 

I think you sound like the type of person who is decent enough, but we all make mistakes... it sounds like your mistake was to give him another chance. At that point you knew he was still married, and did it anyway. That's where his wife has the right to be mad at you too. I feel bad that his wife tried to kill herself... I am genuinely hurting for her. You may "feel bad" for her, but I do not think you are over this (not saying you have to be either). If talking about it helps, do it. You just need to understand that his wife was willing to make her marriage work anyway, after the horrible stuff he did. In one sense that is strong... I can forgive a sin, but I would not be strong enough to stick around like she has chosen to do. Her husband needs to realize what a great wife he has and treat her with respect and love and you should stop "putting her down in disguise" - that's kinda what it sounds like... sorry.

[Jinnah]

Did your exMM or yourself call the authorites or let this go on infront of their kids? Seems this woman was pushed past her emotional limit and had a breakdown...a big one. Did she get on medication or did he try to take the kids away from her to protect them? ...

 

 

This is all heresay.

[MrsHellnoFire]

I got a comment on my myspace page from an old friend I hadn't talk to in a long time. She was a person I had known through the MM I had been involved with. It was a sweet message and I clicked onto her page to return the favor. In her top 8 I was surpirsed to see my exMM and his W. It caught me a little off guard. Out of curiosity I clicked on to his W's page. It really freaked me out. It looks like she just set up her page a few months ago and her quote is "The better woman always wins" and her song is Kelly Clarkson's Never Again.

 

 

IF WINNING MEANS STAYING WITH A CHEATING SLOB. I GUESS THAT WOULD MAKE HER A LOSER IN TERMS OF HER FIRST CHILD'S FATHER- THE ONE WHO RAN. Wow .... its been almost two years and I have long since moved on with my life. She obviously hasn't. It actually made me very sad for her. The reality of the situation was that I got the better end of the deal. I got to start over and move on to a better life. She is still with him.

 

 

HAVE YOU REALLY? DOESN'T SOUND LIKE IT, HENCE THIS POST.Those familiar with my story know that I was not aware that my MM was married. He told me he was in the midst of a divorce (as I was at the time). When the truth came out alot of really messed up things happened that I don't feel the need to go over again, but I got treated very badly by everyone involved. In the end the BS absolved the MM of all guilt and promised him he could do anything he wanted if he stayed with her, including sleep with other women as long as he didn't get emotionally involved. (They eventually became swingers.) In her mind she turned me into the villan even though we were both victims of his lies. All she could see was that he tried to leave her for me, so I was the enemy.

 

SHE'S DESPERATE, NEEDY, AND DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT A MAN IN HER LIFE.

Seeing her myspace page, just really hit me in the pit of my stomach. After so long, she is still festering over this. Her quote seems to me to say that she still hasn't placed all the blame where it belonged. I really do feel bad for her. I wonder if her life would be better if she had chosen to leave or had just let him go. Selfishly, I am glad she didn't. I know my life is so much better off without him. I deserved better than to be with a liar.

 

 

CONVINCE YOURSELF OF THIS YET? I'M TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS SO GREAT ABOUT THIS GUY AND WHY YOU BOTH WERE FIGHTING OVER HIM AT ONE TIME. YOU STILL SOUND LIKE YOU ARE NOT OVER HIM.

I guess I am just wondering if she regrets the choices she made. If she still hasn't let go after almost two years do you think she might realize that she didn't really win? DOESN'T LOOK LIKE SHE REGRETS ANYTHING. DOES IT MATTER WHAT SHE THINKS?

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[MrsHellnoFire]

This post shows how bitter and quick to attack you are. I have shared my story with you more than once and anyone here that has ever bothered to read my posts knows that I was innocent and knows that the BS in my situation treated me very badly. I'm not going to tell my story again, because you won't bother to read it. I'm no longer wasting my time on you.

 

It was two years ago and you apparently aren't the only one not over that mess yet. You actually think a woman can get over an extensive affair in a couple years? Um.. that stays with you for a lifetime. Have you ever even been married before or shared a life with someone??

[Tomcat33]

Did your exMM or yourself call the authorites or let this go on infront of their kids? Seems this woman was pushed past her emotional limit and had a breakdown...a big one. Did she get on medication or did he try to take the kids away from her to protect them?

 

Either way, that's a sad situation and I hope your exMM has done some family therapy with his kids.

 

 

Funny when it's an OW who has the same reaction and feels suicidal she is an unstable loser who is an adult and should know better and is emotionally unstable, a basket case men should want nothing with.... if you will.

 

I think no matter what the title of a person who threatens to commit suicide she/he is being pushed to their emotional limit.

[whichwayisup]

Funny when it's an OW who has the same reaction and feels suicidal she is an unstable loser who is an adult and should know better and is emotionally unstable, a basket case men should want nothing with.... if you will.

 

Well TC, how can you compare a wife (the BS) who married the guy, they created children together, built a life together, to an OW who thinks she falls inlove with a MM in less than a month!

 

Anyway, the OW wasn't suicidal, it was all a ploy...Otherwise she'd still be suicidal and very emotional.

[Tomcat33]

Well TC, how can you compare a wife (the BS) who married the guy, they created children together, built a life together, to an OW who thinks she falls inlove with a MM in less than a month!

 

Anyway, the OW wasn't suicidal, it was all a ploy...

 

 

 

 

VERY easily. I am not comparing lives I am stating that humans all feel differently. They are both human beings QUITE capable of losing a grip on their emotions regardless of what their lives entail. It's not about being married or not it's about personal emotional stability. People don't cause other people's emotions to go out of control we control our own emotions.

If some mental case kills your child because he/she felt out of control due to peer pressure and it made them furious and your child was an easy target, should we also blame society? And sentence a whole town to the gas chamber? or blame the person who lost control of their emotions?

 

 

AND ladies and gentlemen there you have it exhibit B laid out for us perfectly and delivered as expected and without a glitch:

" the double standard"

[whichwayisup]

You're talking this to total extremes and honestly, tonight I'm tired and not up for one of your picking my posts apart and you needing to be right. Funny how the other night you got very upset at someone else doing the same thing, who wanted to be right and who picked apart your posts......

 

Sorry for threadhijack Annabelle.

[Tomcat33]

You're talking this to total extremes and honestly, tonight I'm tired and not up for one of your picking my posts apart and you needing to be right. Funny how the other night you got very upset at someone else doing the same thing, who wanted to be right and who picked apart your posts......

 

Sorry for threadhijack Annabelle.

 

Not picking your post just debating your point. The exact same thing you do to my posts all the time. Just this time it seems you had nothing better to come back at me with.

 

And about the other night if you must mix apples and oranges what happend was that someone was arguing with me about something personal to me, not about points of view which I can totally dig, it's what we do on here we debate points of view.

 

I was having a disussion with the poster and I said his description of his W reminded me of my ex's W and this third person piped in arguing with me that "they are nothing alike" !!!!? not even knowing exactly at what I was refering to "WTF!?!? It was ridiculous. I think I would know better being that I at least knew one of the people in queston where as she knew neither. :lmao::lmao:

[whichwayisup]

Just this time it seems you had nothing better to come back at me with.

Coz I'm tired, silly! lol.

[Tomcat33]

Coz I'm tired, silly! lol.

 

 

I know I beleive you you must be beat... it's not like you to not have a biting retalliation.

yeah I'm pretty spent too...nite nite.

[smoochygirl]

sorry for TJ

 

Tc i don't believe OW know anything about their MM's WIFE unless they know her personally. I give up arguing about that but my opinion isn't gonna change.

[NearlyThere]

AND ladies and gentlemen there you have it exhibit B laid out for us perfectly and delivered as expected and without a glitch:

" the double standard"

 

 

Yep, we all know about the double standard on LS eg.

 

Ow says that the MM says I dont have sex with my wife, OW get told, "its all lies, of course he is sleeping with her, why are you believing this, I have sex with my W/H all the time.

 

However,

 

If you venture over on to the Infidelity or Marriage and Life Partnerships forum, they is plenty of evidence of sexless marriages over there.

 

NT

[Tomcat33]

Yep, we all know about the double standard on LS eg.

 

Ow says that the MM says I dont have sex with my wife, OW get told, "its all lies, of course he is sleeping with her, why are you believing this, I have sex with my W/H all the time.

 

However,

 

If you venture over on to the Infidelity or Marriage and Life Partnerships forum, they is plenty of evidence of sexless marriages over there

 

Absolutely!! It's tiresome really...

You know I have been here long enough to see that certain people just have their own agenda, they just want to make other people they see as enemmies feel like CRAP. I look at this thread alone and see some of the comments, someone even said to Annabelle, why did you post about this you should not be concerned? WHO THE F are you to tell someone not to post a comment/question IN A FORUM that is PARTICULARLY FOR THAT!

WTF? Some people here are so out of line, just totally unreasonable I am glad I got to see their mental sides so that I can just ignore them.

Ok so some posteres I will debate with but at least they have intellgent points of views and they can hold their own, others are just mental cases.

 

 

sorry for TJ

 

Tc i don't believe OW know anything about their MM's WIFE unless they know her personally. I give up arguing about that but my opinion isn't gonna change.

 

Here we go now she follows me here to continue the ridiculous discussion...obviously you didn't give up arguing about it because you followed me here to continue.

 

That's your opinion. I think I would know more about the woman in question than say YOU do, because A I met her, B I heard things about her through my ex that were backed up by things his family and friends said to me. They were all consistent in their description of her. If you have read my back posts as you claim to have done so, then you would know that I've talked about it a million of times on here on why it was not just my POV it was his people's point of view as well.

 

 

Annabelle I am so sorry for all this nonsense.

 

Smoochy/WWIU I am done on that topic, SERIOUSLY give it up. If you wanna talk to me about that just PM me oterhwise it has nothing to do with this thread so let it go.

 

 

Now WWIU follow me into another thread and tell me that in another thread I tell people to "let it go" You just love to give edited versions of what happens to make incriminating comments about people...