We All Suffered

[overandout]

No, his OW isn't married and still isn't. He loves me, wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but what is his best course of action.

 

Not sure how you can dismiss him as a ... can't remember what you did call him, but whatever it was... he is staying married because of his feelings for his kids, not because he thinks it's best for HIM as such. But obviously I don't think it's a good move because not only am I waiting, but his W is miserable too...

 

... so... what is the best action on his part..?

 

 

Frannie, I am really surprised at your posts on this thread.

I thought you had accepted that he wasn't leaving and that you were happy in your role as the OW.

All I am pointing out is that you are clearly not happy and contented and thrashing about trying to get answers/suggestions as to your mm's best course of action vis a vis the kids.

 

He has already told you he isn't leaving and it is clearly torturing and consuming you. He sounds a wuss who will take the easy option and stay at home where he is familiar with his surroundings.

The kids argument from his side is garbage--he is more or less a weekend Dad and so exactly what would he be giving up if he left home?

A man in love would make the leap.

[justfine]

Frannie, I am really surprised at your posts on this thread.

 

He has already told you he isn't leaving and it is clearly torturing and consuming you. He sounds a wuss who will take the easy option and stay at home where he is familiar with his surroundings.

The kids argument from his side is garbage--he is more or less a weekend Dad and so exactly what would he be giving up if he left home?

A man in love would make the leap.

 

 

It's funny how people can view the same situation and come to different conclusions. I would argue that he is not taking the easy option; he is doing the right thing for his family. He is showing that he's not completely selfish and has decided to do the right thing.

 

I would say that it's alot easier to just abandon his family; to be selfish. I'm glad to see that this man has decided to become a better man and consider the needs of his children above his own.

[overandout]

It's funny how people can view the same situation and come to different conclusions. I would argue that he is not taking the easy option; he is doing the right thing for his family. He is showing that he's not completely selfish and has decided to do the right thing.

 

I would say that it's alot easier to just abandon his family; to be selfish. I'm glad to see that this man has decided to become a better man and consider the needs of his children above his own.

 

 

Yes Justfine I can see how you came to that conclusion.

Equally you could say that he is sitting pretty at home, his family life is a bit boring but not that bad and he is just spicing it up with no intention of permanently changing his life.

 

I think that people who are in love with someone else, do leave their partners and although there is always a huge fallout, they still do it.

That is what separates the people who are truly in love with the OP and those who are not. The ones who stay probably love their wives and the OW somewhat but put their own selfish needs above everything else.

A mm is not going to tell the OW "Yeah I love my wife" if he wants his needs within the affair to continue being met.

 

If a mm is that into the OW he will feel tormented by having to leave her and return to his family. At some stage it will break him, and he will make a choice irrespective of whether the OW asks him to choose, although usually they do.