9 weeks so far, really out of my head!

[qwertyu]

er uh oh. i replied before i got response from you guys cos my friends were all urging me to reply & i felt like i said the wrong thing! argh but ive alr said it, so no turning back.

 

i just said "i know you're really sorry but i hope you understand that its not just by saying those words that you can change or influence how i feel towards you. i still have a lot of feelings for you, i hope one day things will work out for us"

 

i know i shldnt really have said this, but everyone told me to just say how i really feel. :/ i didnt wna respond initially but they said if i didnt, it would seem as tho ive accepted his apology and im willing to be friends with him (altho thats not what i want)

 

oh noooo, did i just make the situation worse for myself? anw, he replied but he replied smth COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT. he just said "anyway, if theres an online spree for a XXX website going on, pls let me know"

 

i didnt reply aft that.

 

im not sure what to do now! i think im most likely seeing him on sat for his bday dinner. shld i give him the scrapbook & write him a letter? not asking for an immediate patch but somewhere along the lines if we could try going out as friends more often & see if things can slowly develop again?

 

i was waiting to do this in dec but everyone thinks the right time is now or soon becos dec is too long & by then he might not have that much feelings for me. they said that the fact that he sent me this text, it shows that he still thinks of me & cares if im doing ok.

 

but then again, i feel like he might just feel guilty aft not speaking to me for 2 weeks & because we had brief contact yst & my best friend spoke to him w/o my knowing, so maybe he thought abt me & felt like he shld say sorry & hope i can move on?

 

what shld i do now? i dont wna screw things up!

[qwertyu]

alwayshurt: if its smth you want to send to your ex cos you kinda regret breaking up w her/him. why would you say i hope you can lead a happy life & we can still be friends? or like "pls dont be misunderstood cos this msg doesnt mean i think that the break up is wrong"

 

even if he's checking on me. he seems to be telling me that it is SOLELY to check on me, nothing more. not trying to give me false hopes that we might get back tog.

[alwayshurt]

because he doesn't know where you stand.

He is trying to put his feet back to the mud, but he does not want to get "dirty".

However, it doesn't mean that he wants to get back to you...he's probably going thru some bad moment and feels to get in touch with you.

That is why in my opinion you should ponder your answer, especially if you have intention to get him back. Using the many advices that people have been giving in this board may bring the ball back to your court.

 

I have no idea if my ex wants to get back with me. It has been my dilema for the last 2 weeks since I went NC. In the email I wanted to send I wasn't going to ask her to be friend I just wnated to feel where she stands based on her answer. However, I did it in the past (ask her to be friends) when she was all over me, but becuase of the situation (read my posts if interested) I had to bail many times. I thought friendship was the answer but then realized could not work (for me....and for her too).

[hopeforlove243]

qwertyu, I think his msg made it very clear that he just wants to be friends, he feels sorry, but he has to do what he has to do, which is just be friends with you cause he doesn't love you that much to want you as his gf. I am in a similar situation as yours, and I know how you feel, we all trying to read/hang on the hope that our ex will come back, sorry my dear, we should all focus on ourselves and move on.

[qwertyu]

alwayshurt: i'd be seeing him this sat. 3 weeks since i last saw him alr. should i try to tell him what ive learnt since we've broke up & if we cld start afresh? not asking for a patch immediately but maybe try gng out as friends more & him to be receptive to us being tog again in the future. just like starting all over when we first knew each other.

[niceguy27]

qwerty I dont think saying it does anything. Actions say it all. If you are still planning on meetin him just please keep it light and fun. Talking about being friends is the easy way out. My ex told me "I dont know what I would do with you not in my life so yeah I want to be friends." Well easier said than done. She hasnt made any attempt to keep in touch with me.

 

Point is...If you go out with him, look your best and have fun. Dont bring anything up. At the end of the night if you plan on giving him your gift, do it then. If you ASK you take the risk of getting rejected again. So play it cool and hang with him. If it goes well, give it a week or so and call to hang out again. Then after some time he will be more likely to be more receptive to talking about you guys.

[niceguy27]

Arghh...I had a bad night last night for whatever reason. Was fine all day long and suddenly while watching a tv show I got all emotional. Completely out of the blue! Today is better though. I keep trying my best to put my best foot forward and tell myself that I need to get on with my life but it is hard.

 

To know that its gonna take time for her to come back to herself (if she does) in order for her to look inwards kills me. There is nothing I can do but give it time. I mean, I have done everything right up to this point and its been almost 2 months since we split and I am still feeling like this. She still wears my ring I got her, has all our pics up, and is stringing this new guy along for a ride.

 

For the first time ever, I was ready to settle down and looked forward to sharing my life with her. She DID feel the same way and had told me that she had never been with anyone that made her feel how I did (could be herself 100%). Then her life changed and pressure from "growing up" got the best of her.

 

Ive lost other g/f in the past but none have ever left me feeling like this!

I have tried to go out on dates but 1) im not a bar guy 2) my standards are pretty high and I live in somewhat a backwards ass town in Michigan where people dont like to explore new things.

 

Oh well...Im just sticking to NC as much as I can and trying my best to focus on me right now. So far this year...Grandma passed, filed bankruptcy, losing home in 1 month, business partner left so im on my own, ex moved out, ex then left me. I know others have it worse off but man, I cant wait till the new year so I can make an effort to start EVERYTHING new again.

[qwertyu]

niceguy: oh gosh. im sorry to hear that. maybe if you could, you shld get away from your place for awhile. go travel or smth & just i dont know, take time to clear your mind off things?

 

thats what i wish i could do now but ive got school so outta the qns. ohwell. and i just cried pretty damn badly too cos i got all emotional. haha. sigh i feel so stressed over his bday. im thinking of where to eat, if i shld still bake instead of buy the cake, my gift, the letter everything. i know it sounds as though im doing too much but honestly, i just want him to be happy. its HIS bday afterall & he's someone who means a lot to me.

 

it pains me to know that things are not confirmed though. its like im putting in so much for this yet i'd only know if he'd be able to make it on wed or smth. sigh. i really hope i wont get rejected

[alwayshurt]

alwayshurt: i'd be seeing him this sat. 3 weeks since i last saw him alr. should i try to tell him what ive learnt since we've broke up & if we cld start afresh? not asking for a patch immediately but maybe try gng out as friends more & him to be receptive to us being tog again in the future. just like starting all over when we first knew each other.

 

Dont' ask anything and don't talk about the relationship. Just be cool and make him feel like you are there just to have fun. And try to have fun.

let him make the first move (if he will). If he does don't accept right away. Just make him think that you need to think about it. Take a couple of days and then initiate contact but don't talk about going back together.

My point is that he has to be the one to do the all work and gain your respect again. If he is into it, he'll do anything. Otherwise, go NC again and for good.

I hope it'll work well for you.

[qwertyu]

i doubt i will.

 

i feel horrible tho. i feel like i have so many unanswered qns, i wna ask him but im not ready to hear the answers esp if its negative. i havent spoke abt our r/p to him for quite awhile. 3 weeks

 

for 2 weeks, i was on strict NC. i broke it cos i needed to ask if we cld have dinner on his bday tog, started talking a bit but i feel like when i do that, he seems to be avoiding me again. maybe cos he's afraid i'd try to ask for a patch or think we have hopes.

 

i asked if we cld hang out on sat not only for dinner but before that as well, if we cld catch a movie but he told me he might have family plans. i was msging his sis tho & found out frm his sis he told her he wanted to celebrate w the family on SUN instead of sat. yet when i called to ask him if we cld hang out, he said he'd be spending time w his family. so i dont know if he's lying to me. but i told him if he didnt want to go out w me, just tell e truth & he said it's the truth. then i didnt say anything

 

aft that, he sent me a text

 

"ok dont worry, i really dont mind going out w you but you must understand that no matter what you do. i doubt we'd get back tog or i'd get into a serious relationship so soon. i think you know what im talking abt cos i explained to you before. other than that, pls dont worry cos i have no problems hanging out w you"

 

i know its very clear in this msg alr. but i still have this SMALL SMALL hope inside me. i dont want people to tell me to move on cos i know i dont want to, not for now at least. do u think if i went out w him this sat & LC strictly for a mth of nov (since im having exams anw) dont talk abt the r/p at all, when i ask him out in dec, i can talk abt us again?

 

maybe things will be better then?

[niceguy27]

qwerty...Meet with one last time and as long as you think you are able to HONESTLY and TRULY tell him how you feel you will do fine. After he knows how you truly feel then go complete NC for a month. Put a date on your calender. During that month make it a priority to do something new. New routines or whatever. Get yourself in the best shape of your life and do a bunch of new things. You will have a goal to work towards so look at as a challenge. When the month comes up then contact him and go out and have fun.

 

Until then you have to hammer everything out to leave the doors open (only if you want them open). That means wrapping up loose ends (feelings, unsaid things, etc.) then initiating your plan. I am still trying to wrap up those loose ends (found more of her things in my house...too many places for it to hide!). Only after all that is done (like his bday coming up) can you implement it.

 

So do the bday thing and after that you have clear sailing ahead. Do the one month deal and then come back to test the water (IF you still want to).

[niceguy27]

Hero...How things going so far?? Hope your hanging in there and things are good! We could use your advice too!

 

I posted in another thread about moving http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t133558/

 

I have pretty much had NC with my ex since the last updates except for the one above. Question?? Do you think it would be a good idea to wait about a month, get myself in order, and then lay it out for her about me moving?? I firmly believe that she is doing this as a big test for herself and thinks that once shes done with it, we will be back together down the road ( I know, selfish of her).

 

If I lay it down that she is REALLY going to lose me possibly for good after the holidays (with moving), I am hoping that she will be forced to quit playing these games and make a decision. Until this point I think she is keeping that thought in the back of her mind that Im just going to wait for her.

 

Would it be a good idea to tell her that in about a month (Full NC for that time too)?? Put it to her that I will make my decision sometime after Christmas and until then we do our own things. Im just tossing it out there. Some people have said to not say anything until I get ready to make a decision more closer to the actual date.

 

I think you and I kind of see things similarly.

 

[qwertyu]

niceguy: yeah im dying to know all the answers to my questions but right now i dont feel ready to hear them esp if its negative. the reason why i dont feel like asking/doing anything is becus my exams are coming up & im just afraid the things he say will cause me to be unable to concentrate.

 

thus im wondering if i shld just lay off for awhile. probably just have dinner w him, try to have a good time thats it. for nov, i will just have LC w him but will not talk abt our r/p cos i think it gets quite annoying too.

 

only when im done w exams & having my break in dec, then try to talk things out?

 

do you think its a good plan?

[Hero2Zero]

Hey Niceguy, I've been busy at work and at home lately. I think I've been keeping myself too busy! The wedding went well, and we had a great time. We took pictures together, danced together, etc. I'm not making any moves, I'm just there for her at this point. I'm just giving her the time she needs. I think things are on a more positive note, I'm just being supportive, patient and I try to be a source of fun/relaxation/opening up. That's all I've been up to. So far so good, I guess. We're talking more and she can talk to me about things in a straight and honest way now that she's opened up. I'm just hanging on and waiting it out. But I'm here for you guys.

 

Niceguy, I definitely think that you should not make a move right now. If you're moving to make a point to your ex or to get away from painful memories, then you're moving for the wrong reason. Don't let things make you feel like you need to get away from it all. It's all in your head, a place is just a place, your mind injects the memory. You have to be strong for yourself in this situation and not make any dramatic decision because you're not getting what you want. Whatever you're looking for, you may not find it in the new town, at least not right now, when your mind has not moved on. At this point, as hard as it is, you should not even be thinking about her or what she wants. You should think about what you want, completely excluding her. That is the only time you will see what you truly want for yourself.

 

Qwertyu, it seems you are dead set on seeing him, so go ahead. But only do it once, then you have to be strong and go full NC. Say what you need to say, be honest and do not talk like you're hoping for anything, when you do talk to him. Just get your feelings out and start to strengthen yourself. You can't change anyone else but yourself in this situation. It's there or it's not, and unfortunately, you have no power in this. Psychologically, you will try to assert some type of control over a situation that you have no control over, hence wanting to see him...because you are hoping that you can control the situation and make him see you differently, or understand how you truly feel. You think that if he understands, then maybe he might change his mind and get back together with you. That's only going to push him away. You are basically telling him that what you want is more important. You should get your feelings out if you really need to, but I think he already knows by now. I suggest not seeing him for his b-day at all. Send a card if you have to. If you have any chance at all, keeping contact will only push him further away maybe more than he wants to. Go NC if you are strong enough. Work on yourself. That's all you can do.

[qwertyu]

thanks for all your advices. i know it can be exasperating trying to advice me cos

 

1. im not willing to let go so no matter what anyone says about giving up i wont. (but this is becos my deadline is only at the end of the yr)

2. im not going to ask him anything although i feel like i need to know cos right now i dont feel ready to accept the answers. i dont want to break down or sink into depression again, affecting my studies. so i will lay this off for awhile.

3. im going out w him but not becos I REALLY WANT TO. i do have thoughts of calling off the whole thing cos im quite pissed off by his attitude as well but i feel like since ive planned everything alr, maybe i'd just go ahead w it.

4. im still deciding on full NC for nov. i dont rly feel the need to actually :/ i guess i will only feel the need to if i know ive given my best yet nothing changes.

 

i think thats what makes it hard for me to move on. niceguy can move on cos he has done all he could & theres rly nothing else he can do anymore & he deserves to be applauded. as for me, i rly felt like i havent done my best becos i dont even have a chance to. so far its been a mth since we've broken up & ive only met him once for abt 2 hrs? i dont get to talk to him much. not even see him. i feel like theres no chance for me to show him how ive really changed. i know it might not be the cause of changing but i still want to show him that things are different w me now.

 

i guess i will just have to suffer till dec then & test waters later to see if things change. i know i shldnt be expecting but its hard not to. sigh

[Hero2Zero]

One thing that we've been trying to tell you that NC is not giving up. It's giving yourself what you deserve.

[niceguy27]

Thanks Hero. I always appreciate what you have to say! Same to you qwety

 

qwert...Hero is right. NC gives you at the least time to sort things out on your own so you can make a decision on what to do and make it with a clear head. If you go with him dont expect to hear what you want to. It will probably open up old wounds. If you feel the need to do get things off your chest once and for all, DO IT! Then you will know that there is nothing left to say. Hopefully you have had enough time apart for you to think about exactly what things were left unsaid (in your mind).

 

Its kind of a fine line between sounding needy and getting your feelings out. Once you do though then it would be time to let him go and thank him and tell him there were no regrets over anything.

[qwertyu]

hmm actually heres an update of my current situation.

 

aft 2 weeks, when i broke NC we do have LC everyday. either by text or calls (altho calls are usually just to ask smth and thats it) but we've been speaking purely as friends so i dont rly see anything wrong to it.

 

i dont know if im thinking too much but i kinda suspect that there might be another girl cos of what my mom & friends said. i feel like asking him abt this on sat but i dont know how to. i doubt he'd tell me. my mom said he wont. he's a very secretive guy. somehow i feel quite sad cos i feel like i dont rly know him anymore or i dont even now, at least.

 

since we've broken up, i heard frm this girl (a sch friend of ours) that he only told 2 people abt it & i have no idea who they are. he didnt even tell his really close friends (or those i assume are close to him) i think cos he's afraid theyd tell me anything?

 

aft the text msg he sent me, the one he mentioned recently abt how he's fine gng out w me but no matter what i do, he doubt we'd get back tog or in a serious r/p so soon.

 

i replied & said

 

"well, you know how you really feel about me in your heart. and maybe youre gng for the dinner just becos you feel bad & you know that ive alr prepared it. i dont wna argue w you over this. i just want to have a simple dinner w you on your bday, but if you want things to be like this, i have nothing to say"

 

his reply:

"no i think you got me all wrong. i dont want you to think that i dont want to go out w you. you always think that way when i cannot make it for smth"

 

me: and it so happen that everytime i ask you out, youre only able to make it for a few hrs.

 

him: but you've only asked me out twice.

 

me: i knew you were gna say that. so how many times do you expect me to ask you out? i really wna know whats your definition of a friend (cos he said he wanted to be friends but i feel like hes doing nth to keep our fship)

 

him: i go out mean i wont hesitate to go out w you and i think that says a lot abt how i feel for you

 

me: what do you mean?

 

him: that im very comfortable having you as a friend and im fine w gng out w you

 

me: ok. i hope you rmb what you say then. you said yourself that actions speaks louder. im sorry if i sound harsh but sometimes i just need to make it clear.

 

//

 

he didnt reply aft. i dno, i guess i was a lil pissed off then cos i felt like ive put in so much effort planning his bday yet i wasnt sure if he was lying to me abt his family thing.

 

what shld i do when i see him? shld i ask if theres another girl? or shld i just not talk abt us for now...and give us more time.

[qwertyu]

im pissed with myself!

 

i think im starting to do stupid things again. well today, my ex's friend's (H) gf called to ask for a favour. my ex isnt rly close to them cos they are older but we are all in the same clique, just that its a lil separated into age grps, older & younger.

 

while asking me for a favour, she said i heard you and %^&* broke up. i said yes, why? she told me her bf (H) told her that he's v upset. and i ask how does her bf know & she said this guy, D, told her bf. D is also part of the clique, my ex's "good" (i dno if theyre still close) friend's bro.

 

so i called C (D's gf) & found out D was with her & i told her nvm, i'd text her instead. I just said "hey, i know you'd probably tell D this. but what do u guys know?"

 

and she didnt reply for quite a long time so i knew they were either contemplating on what to say or D probably told her not to reply me. i called her and D picked up. so i said, did you read the msg? what did he tell you?

 

D said he didnt tell me anything, i only know u guys broke up. i think its just a miscommunication (referring to what H said) and he didnt seem to wna talk abt it.

 

i hope the above wasnt too confusing haha.

 

well anw, i just feel like ive been irritating all my ex's friends to find out what he thinks abt me. i know i shld be asking my ex directly but i keep having this thought that hes not telling me the truth cos maybe he doesnt wna hurt me or he finds it hard to really tell e truth or i dont know!

 

ARGHHHHHHH HOW CAN I STOP MYSELF FROM DOING THIS. everytime i hear abt anyone knowing anything, i'd be sooo tempted to contact them & ask what do they know even if im not really close to them. i shldnt do that right?

[niceguy27]

qwerty its not gonna matter if theres another girl or not. Hate to tell ya this but there probably is. There was with my ex. But I can tell ya that its NOT anythign serious. She just hung out with him because he was 100% opposite of me. Something different. Especially since its so fresh. So dont worry about that at all.

 

If you cant meet up with him tomorrow then dont worry about it. Plan on a time later if you still want to. You dont have to try to get everything out in one meeting. My ex and I have had this kind of spread out over a month or so. Meet for a little bit then take a week or two to think it over then talk again.

 

Play it cool. Dont ask people about him and dont beat yourself up over anything. He does his thing and you do yours. The sooner you do that the sooner you are able to think with a clear head.

[rcaliguy]

good advice niceguy. my exgf and i have been broken up for 5 weeks now. the first two weeks were total hell, literally. lately we've both been time to ourselves to sort things out. we see each other once a week, we have a dog that lives with her, so we make it that once a week i stop by and take the dog for the the evening and return her the following morning. it's actually helped out a lot. we'll talk a bit during the week, but we don't over do it either. the key factor is to respect each other and give each other space to sort things out. in our case, i broke her trust by moving out while she was away. we were together for 3 1/2 years. i'm 26 an she's 27. i was kind of lost and have been finding myself through this whole process. i'm working on gaining her trust again but that'll take time.

so give him his space, maybe only talk to him once a week. and try not to worry about the other girl. i'm not sure how long you two were together for but chances are, she's a rebound. nothing serious! she's probably there out of convenience and to keep his mind occupied. i'm sure he misses you. so don't dwell on what he's doing, focus on yourself and keep the contact limited.

[qwertyu]

well today i went to his place to surprise him w the cake. initially i wanted to just leave it & go but my mom asked me to stay to try to win his family heart. HAHA ok i dont know if its a bit far fetched.

 

so anw, i stayed & waited for over an hr. it was kinda my first time talking to his family even though we've been so long tog cos i seldom go to his place. but it was fun & i had a good time w them.

 

thank God things turned out fine. he didnt seem pissed or anything when i was over. he was act quite surprised (in a good way) & seemed happy. he walked me to get a cab and we just talked about normal stuff.

 

i cant help wondering why he still wna lie to me tho. his mom asked if i wna join his family's celebration for him on sun. yet he kept insisting he's celebrating w them on sat. later however, he msged me and said "hey i told my mom alr and i can hang out w you earlier if you want" i didnt reply and he sent another "pls let me know soon so i can tell my mom" WHEN I WAS IN HIS HOUSE talking to his mom actually. zz.

 

so when we were walking back, i just told him his mom actually asked me to join them on SUN. and he said sun is the celebration between his own family but some of his external relatives will be at his place on sat for another celebration thus his family didnt ask me to join on sat.

 

by then i didnt wna insist or anything. i dont know what to believe but I JUST CANT STAND LIARS. argh

[niceguy27]

He was doing that to probably protect you from something that he thought would hurt your feelings. More likely it was something really really small that wasnt a big deal but when dealing with breakups everything is a sensitive issue. Just try to keep an open mind during all this.

 

So here is how things panned out for me last night...

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t134070/

 

All I can say is closure closure closure!! Thank God that I stuck through this long.

[qwertyu]

yeah im not gonna talk abt it anymore.

 

do you think he still feels for me? yst while i was waiting for him at his place. his dad came back & told us that he was below his apartment talking to his friend & it seems like he was talking to his friend for quite some time. maybe 40 mins or so?

 

i mean i just feel like if he wasnt really concerned abt this, i dont see why he would spend so much time talking to his friend. he's not really the kind of guy who spill his guts to people. most of e time, he keeps things to himself.

 

somehow i feel like he had a lot of other issues while he was tog w me. maybe not major but small issues that were bugging him. i asked him before but he didnt really wna talk abt it. he told me its just small stuff & he doesnt want me to bother. i dont know, its quite hard for me to get things out from him sometimes. but now i feel like aft the break up, maybe he has more time to look at all the problems bugging him & is opening to 1 or 2 friends.

 

i cant tell much when i hang out w him cos we seldom talk abt us but just like normal casual stuff. yet i get this feeling that he still feels smth for me. even when we talk abt casual stuff, i feel like hes trying his best to make all things fine & dandy.

 

i still wish one day i can really get everything outta me but i feel like its not the time yet tho its been 3 weeks since we last saw each other.

 

we're going for dinner tonight! i hope it turns out well. i think im just gna keep it light.

[qwertyu]

happy today! dinner went well

spent a lot on him (i dont know if i shldnt be doing this) but i feel happy as long as he's happy.

 

talked a bit but i tried not to talk so much abt us cos i really didnt wna go into stuff like that. did ask a few qns tho.

 

asked abt the other girl. he told me there isnt any & he told me which girls he is close to now (close meaning that they do talk sometimes but they never hung out physically) & there were only 2. both whom i know (sorta).

 

i dont know it seems like he kept trying to tell me not to worry cos he said he'd only like girls whom he feels a connection w when they first talk not when they alr establish fship & develop. it doesnt work that way for him. like he says he'd know he's interested in e girl when the feeling is "right" the first time they talk so i dont have to be worried abt the two.

 

he also said he finds it hard to find people who truly understands him. i felt a bit sad knowing in my heart that i never really tried to understand him when we were tog. i didnt rly know what to say. but it made me kinda wonder if he broke up w me cos of this too & he'd hope his next gf will be someone who can rly understand him. but in e first place, he doesnt open to anyone at all! so how are we supposed to understand him? he did say that he finds it easier to talk to girls abt his probs tho (which kinda scares me) :/

 

the last thing abt us i rmb was that i asked if he really wouldnt see us tog forever. i told him i know he'd be inclined to say yes cos he doesnt wna disappoint me or raise my hopes but i told him that i just wna know e truth. cos i know right now there might not be a chance at all but what if we were both more mature in e future etc. he said he wouldnt rule out the possibility but e chances of us getting tog in e future is the same as us not getting back ever again. the futures too uncertain, there are many factors that might hinder us, like both of us might find someone else etc. thus he cant say for sure. furthermore, he felt like we were both not matured in handling our r/p. and even if i had mature, he still wldnt feel ready at the moment. and when will both of us know when we feel more mature/ready? so everythings too uncertain for him to give me an ans.

 

i dont know but i feel like at least its better than a flat NO. does it still sound like i might have a chance? haha i know i shldnt be putting too much hopes on it. but i feel better knowing that at least things might change.. ahhh :/

 

other than that, thruout our time w one another. we actually walked very closely to each other & there were times we had physical contact (as in like our hands would touch each other by accident) when we took pics tog, i still held him by his arm. i dont know but when we were out, it felt like we were still tog besides not holding hands but i just felt like it was in e past, so comfortable w each other! i brought him shopping & when he tried this shirt on, i helped him to button one of buttons. and he let me do it! he never really actually tried to draw a line.

 

as in when i buttoned his button for him, he didnt push me away or say anything like i think u shldnt be doing this.. i dont know what he'd do if i plucked up the courage to just hold his hand. haha! i wanted to do that but i refrained cos im really afraid it might spoil everything or he'd push me away.

 

but he still told me that he really think he needs a break aft coming out from a serious r/p. and not a few mths break but quite a long one.. ohwell. i guess that stopped me from doing anything too aggressive but when we were out tog, i really felt we are still together as a couple.

 

i dont knowwwwwwwwww :/