sweetsexylove Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 Ive been dating this guy for a few months. I know he still talks/myspaces his ex-gf and Im not sure why. He obviously is keeping communication open for some reason. Maybe he cant let her go. I know this because Ive checked his phone/myspace a couple of times..really just twice...not that it makes it okay.....what I found disturbing was the messages to her seem so intimate... he texted her once that when he "heard this song he pretended he was singing to her"( 1 1/2 months ago) and he sent her a msg that said he "couldnt call her tonite but he couldnt wait to talk to her" ( 6 days ago) I really love this guy and I dont know how to apporach him about this. Ive already tried telling him how much he means to me and he knows Ive already been through **** like this and I dont need it. I want to trust him, I dont want to go on like this with him.......... Link to post Share on other sites
Krytellan Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 Why are you even still with him then? How is this OK? Are there like only 2 men in your town where you need to give your heart to a person who is still attached to his ex? Why do people set themselves up like this. It will never be easier than it is right now to end this and find a guy who wants to be with you. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetsexylove Posted September 4, 2007 Author Share Posted September 4, 2007 Thanks just need to hear it from someone else... Guess he says all the right things and I believe him. He's made me a part of his family and treats me better than anyone else has before(most of the time). I really no have grounds for accusing him of cheating unless I tell him I was snooping through his ****. I wish someone would tell me how this could end in a positive result. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 I wish someone would tell me how this could end in a positive result. A few ways: 1. You break things off with him, get your head and heart together and find someone who is in the free and clear to be with you. 2. He decides on his own that he doesn't want any more to do with his ex, and devotes his time and attention just to you. My guess is that your first option is really your only option. If you wait around for option two, you'll be waiting a long time and suffering the entire time for something that probably isn't going to happen. You won't find the happiness you are looking for with him, so you'll have to go and find your happiness elsewhere. I'd definitely bring it up to him. Simply say "I can't be with a guy who is still caught up with his ex. I'm breaking things off, and this isn't open to discussion. If you ever get over your ex and want to give things a shot later on, then you know where to find me. Otherwise, there really isn't any need to have any sort of contact. I can't make you any guarantees though, since I'll be looking for other people to date but it never hurts to try, right?" If you can't do this, then understand that as long as you remain with him and tolerate him talking to his ex, he will continue to do so. If you stay with him and insist that he break things off with her, he'll probably continue behind your back. Link to post Share on other sites
Krytellan Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 1. You break things off with him, get your head and heart together and find someone who is in the free and clear to be with you. Unfortunately, even though we see it here over and over again that this is the best option, I have a sense from the poster's tone that this truly is not an option. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetsexylove Posted September 4, 2007 Author Share Posted September 4, 2007 Im trying to understand why a person would be so wonderful to me, include me in his family, and at the same time still talk to his ex occasionally. Yea I dont know how often. A month 1/2 ago I actually sent the ex gf a msg and asked her to stop. She assured me that she wasnt trying to steal him from me and that they still cared for eachother but they tried to be together and it didnt work out. She wished us luck and said she would stay away. So Im still in this relationship because I believe they could simply care for eachother. I dont think my bf has been unfaithful. Although he may have thought about it. Breaking up is not an option at this point. So if I get hurt at least it wont hurt as much as the last one did. Link to post Share on other sites
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