Confused over break-up

[Kathryn]

Recently my boyfriend broke up with me. We've been really good friends for years and in a relationship for quite a while. He was the first guy I've been intimate with and I care alot about him, and love him with all my heart.

 

But the reason we split was so...stupid. It doesn't feel like a real explanation. He basically said that he needed some space as college is hectic right now and we're both studying for exams. I totally understood his feelings and we chilled for a while, and things felt like they were alright. But suddenly, out of the blue, he calls me and says it isn't working. That he needs time to sort himself and doesn't want a relationship because he needs to focus on him. I didn't argue, as I see his point, and although I was stunned at this shock break-up, I don't blame him. I know why he did it and it wasn't anything I could have done, since this wasn't anything to do with us.

 

Which makes me wonder why he broke up at all. He says he still loves me, and he wants us to go back to being friends. I'll try, because there's no way I don't want him in my life. But if this wasn't to do with our relationship, why did it end? It seems so unexplained...which is why I'm confused over it. I didn't want to end things, and I don't know where to go from here, nor what to do. Do you think that once the stress of exams have gone, he'll want to sort things out? Or was that just a lame excuse to get out while he could?

[Tony T]

Normal sane people only break up with their partner because they are not ready to settle down or they see no future in the relationship. Love and attachment has nothing to do with it.

 

Only your ex will ever know the REAL reason(s) for his breaking up with you. I caution you not to screw your mind all up trying to speculate. I would say that the lack of communication with regard to this particular issue may be symptomatic of other problems in your relationship. People who are seeing each other in a healthy way never leave the other dangling like this.

 

The greatest love you can ever show another person is to bid them farewell like a good sport and wish them the very best. The greatest love you can ever show yourself is to do that as well.

[Ladybug313]

I'm sorry to hear about you and your boyfriend.

But I think it's just best to go with his wishes and move on, though it will hurt. And just take his word for it. Trying to figure out the whole thing will just leave you with a headache. Also sometimes people just change and there's nothing we can do about it. Especially in college. Be his friend if you can manage it. Meet other people. He's made it clear the relationship is over. So it's over and just leave it at that. Maybe he will come back and sort things out with you. Maybe he won't. I think only time will tell and it's up to you to decide if you want to continue it I guess.

Take care.

[Kathryn]

Thanks for your replies. I know you're right, theres nothing I do so no use worrying about it and thinking what if. All I can do is make an effort to keep him in my life as a friend, and he's doing that too so it's not all bad. It's hard, and the pain is still very raw, so seeing him and not being able to talk to him like I used to, or hug him, kiss him, it's just strange. But everything takes getting used to I guess. I just hope to God this awkwardness works itself out soon.

[Em001]

I just wanted to say that I know exactly how you feel. My boyfriend of a year just broke up with me because of almost the exact same reasons, although he still says he has feelings for me and that its a possibility that we may get back together in the future, he just needs to time to figure things out for himself. I hope everything works out for you