Wife moved out.

[whichwayisup]

He was the one that told me she wanted one, not her. She had actually told him the whole story. He even knew about the cheating.

 

Are you sure this guy isn't just saying that so you'll get pissed off? He had no right to discuss YOUR marriage with you. You need to talk to HER. There could be a small possiblity that this guy is just saying 'whatever' to make sure you two DO divorce...He probably is manipuating her from the other side too..

[LosingMyDreamGirl]

Are you sure this guy isn't just saying that so you'll get pissed off? He had no right to discuss YOUR marriage with you. You need to talk to HER. There could be a small possiblity that this guy is just saying 'whatever' to make sure you two DO divorce...He probably is manipuating her from the other side too..

 

I am sure he is, but she is too blind to see it. I talked to her for 7 hours last night... she wants the divorce. Its her mistake to make. I already have a friend that is helping me get through this and on top of that, I WON $750 at Texas Hold'em tonight. I am stoked. And now that I am single, I do not feel obligated to share.

[Chrome Barracuda]

I am sure he is, but she is too blind to see it. I talked to her for 7 hours last night... she wants the divorce. Its her mistake to make. I already have a friend that is helping me get through this and on top of that, I WON $750 at Texas Hold'em tonight. I am stoked. And now that I am single, I do not feel obligated to share.

 

Good for you, that freedom from a cheater is exhilarating isnt it?

 

Feels good dont it.

 

Dont share anything with her from now on and make sure those papers get signed. If she wants the divorce let her come up with the money, dont pay for S*it! expect your own lawyer fees.

 

Your poker hand is strong! lolz.

[LosingMyDreamGirl]

Well, found out tonight the 'friend' was the OM. She has had a relationship with him now for 2 1/2 months and they have been having sex regularly.

 

Second time to cheat on me in 6 months and with a different partner.

 

I am washing my hands of her.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Well, found out tonight the 'friend' was the OM. She has had a relationship with him now for 2 1/2 months and they have been having sex regularly.

 

Second time to cheat on me in 6 months and with a different partner.

 

I am washing my hands of her.

 

That liberating feeling is feeling good doesnt it.

 

That peace of mind you got right now is so tranquil?

 

For them to throw the affair in your face when your trying to heal from all of it shows you their true nature. Fog or stupidity be damned, this is what she wanted and this is the path they chose.

 

I hope you exposed them both, so they can know what it's like to feel like leppers! lol!

[LosingMyDreamGirl]

That liberating feeling is feeling good doesnt it.

 

That peace of mind you got right now is so tranquil?

 

For them to throw the affair in your face when your trying to heal from all of it shows you their true nature. Fog or stupidity be damned, this is what she wanted and this is the path they chose.

 

I hope you exposed them both, so they can know what it's like to feel like leppers! lol!

 

This is a completely new man. The first one was an old High School Boyfriend. This one is a co-worker of hers. I do not know who she is anymore. The person I once loved is truly lost and gone forever.

[Fancee]

My heart goes out for you and its a real tear jerker. You have been very good as best you could based on your level of awareness. What I mean is you were not knowledgeable about the severity of work, not paying attention to whats going on around you?

 

Not working and supporting your family b/c of playing games to much is like abandonment and so is cheating. She was lonely and some what defrauded. (look what the word defrauded means(bible) and what the Lord have to say to the saints about defrauding each other). If that can happen to the saint - what about us sinners who are still trying to get it right.?

You know the Lord said its not good for man to be alone and I say woman either.(maybe the Lord was trying to tell us evil can come from this) Maybe this lead to the infidelty her trying to cope with her pains that you were not of aware of and over looked.

 

She trying to make her ownself happy. Piecrcings and tatoos another man just trying to make it. This cause you later on to be abandoned because of the cheating. Its not like she planned this or was this type of person.

 

Life and problems make ppl all react and some react differently. You escaped one way and she escape another. She seem to have suffer alot more all while you were not working and then not paying her any attention. She didn't really have somethig to cushion her thru this like you used your games.

 

Reading from what you wrote you both are very good ppl.You seem like the perfect guy and she seems like the perfect woman for you.

 

But I seem to notice some guys going to working extra jobs and buying bigger homes and get the wife that balm car. It works most of the time.

Its kinda of like the nursery rhyme,peter, peter pumkin eater. A new house and there he kept her very well. I hope you two get back together.

[Chrome Barracuda]

My heart goes out for you and its a real tear jerker. You have been very good as best you could based on your level of awareness. What I mean is you were not knowledgeable about the severity of work, not paying attention to whats going on around you?

 

Not working and supporting your family b/c of playing games to much is like abandonment and so is cheating. She was lonely and some what defrauded. (look what the word defrauded means(bible) and what the Lord have to say to the saints about defrauding each other). If that can happen to the saint - what about us sinners who are still trying to get it right.?

You know the Lord said its not good for man to be alone and I say woman either.(maybe the Lord was trying to tell us evil can come from this) Maybe this lead to the infidelty her trying to cope with her pains that you were not of aware of and over looked.

 

She trying to make her ownself happy. Piecrcings and tatoos another man just trying to make it. This cause you later on to be abandoned because of the cheating. Its not like she planned this or was this type of person.

 

Life and problems make ppl all react and some react differently. You escaped one way and she escape another. She seem to have suffer alot more all while you were not working and then not paying her any attention. She didn't really have somethig to cushion her thru this like you used your games.

 

Reading from what you wrote you both are very good ppl.You seem like the perfect guy and she seems like the perfect woman for you.

 

But I seem to notice some guys going to working extra jobs and buying bigger homes and get the wife that balm car. It works most of the time.

Its kinda of like the nursery rhyme,peter, peter pumkin eater. A new house and there he kept her very well. I hope you two get back together.

 

That doesnt matter, there is no excuse for an affair!!!

 

2 on her part!!! 2!!!!

 

So what she's hurting! That doesnt give her the right to do what she did!

 

Why should he get back together with her? Has she gotten an STD test? Does she even know her own status? What if she gets pregnant? Then what? The OM leaves and she's left holding the bag, Is she gonna blame her STBX husband or her own stupidity for placing herself in that situation in the first place.

 

I understand resentment but she could have approached him and talked to him like an adult, like a human being and yet she went out and F-ed up tremendously.

 

It's over...

 

LMDG dont get back with her. Use this opportunity to heal and find someone else. Hopefully you are still young and have no children that will link you together.

 

Once she leaves, she stays gone!

[LosingMyDreamGirl]

we have a son. 22 months old.

[Fancee]

Crome, I never said she had rights to cheat. He didn't have rights to not work and play games either. He said it was not because he couldn't find work but because he stayed on the games too much.(2yrs) Worse than not working; he neglected her too much.

 

See Crome I realize your anger I would feel pain. But Crome you and him, don't know what you will do if you are neglected -like of attention etc. See the woman you all call B****chy might would have been better for him. He would have made a turn around alot faster. Because he wouldn't have been able to stay in that house and play games with her.

 

But you don't know what all was going thru her head and the devil telling her all sorts of things. "if he loved you he would want to work or he wouldn't be on the games,ect. Being neglected will stop communication at least it will not allow you to tell your spouse how you really feel.

 

This how he allowed another man to enter into his affairs. He knew she had emotionally needs as well. He must take some responsibility in this. Otherwise if you keep starving and very hungry and someone come along with the food you need you will eat.

 

With a woman in this vulnerable situation cheating was an exchange for companion. Sex is not the real issue with good women. Thats what you don't seem to understand. We are not talking street women. We talking about a good woman and a human being.

Nothing was right but I don't think neither of them intended to do each other wrong.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Crome, I never said she had rights to cheat. He didn't have rights to not work and play games either. He said it was not because he couldn't find work but because he stayed on the games too much.(2yrs) Worse than not working; he neglected her too much.

 

See Crome I realize your anger I would feel pain. But Crome you and him, don't know what you will do if you are neglected -like of attention etc. See the woman you all call B****chy might would have been better for him. He would have made a turn around alot faster. Because he wouldn't have been able to stay in that house and play games with her.

 

But you don't know what all was going thru her head and the devil telling her all sorts of things. "if he loved you he would want to work or he wouldn't be on the games,ect. Being neglected will stop communication at least it will not allow you to tell your spouse how you really feel.

 

This how he allowed another man to enter into his affairs. He knew she had emotionally needs as well. He must take some responsibility in this. Otherwise if you keep starving and very hungry and someone come along with the food you need you will eat.

 

With a woman in this vulnerable situation cheating was an exchange for companion. Sex is not the real issue with good women. Thats what you don't seem to understand. We are not talking street women. We talking about a good woman and a human being.

Nothing was right but I don't think neither of them intended to do each other wrong.

 

I never said she was a bottom feeding street bitch!

 

Yeah so what she's a good woman but right now she's acting like a hardcore stone cold bitch!

 

It is what it is.

 

I aint saying he aint at fault. Of course he probably feels like that. But all that good talk be damned. Aint nothing good about you if your actions dictate who you are. And right now her actions are speaking so damn loud I can hear her down the block!!!

 

Now 1 time cheating? You could possibly work through it. Get back together , work through your pain. Reconsile.

 

But 2 affairs!!! with 2 different men!! within a 6 months timeframe!!!! WTF???

 

That's absolute grounds for dismissal. I dont care how much resentment she has, Or how much she's acting out right now. She's placing herself and sexual health out there on the line with her crazy ass reckless behavior!

 

And they have a baby!

 

a baby????

 

A freaking baby!

 

22 months old......

 

That baby never had a chance for a normal family.

 

Welcome to the world of stepparents and remarriage.

 

It's not anger that fuels me.

It's madness within me that I see a woman throw her family away for a freaking fantasy. It makes me mad that this baby never had a chance at a normal family. It's gonna be passed off back and forth between parents for 18 years! It makes me mad because more oftne than not she's stuffing herself trying to lose all that pain in these affairs.

 

But the day she wakes up and she get's triggered, She's gonna remember everything she done. She's gonna be banging your door down asking to come back. but possibly when that time comes LMDG wont give a flying F!

 

He's done moved on....

 

I've seen too many men get hurt and then the women wakes up saying it was the fog, and I didnt mean it, and I'm sorry. If you knew all those things before you cheated, why did you cheat? Why didnt you stop it.

 

We all make conscious choices, she has consequences to pay for hers. I'm sorry.

 

But it is what it is.

[Fancee]

I wouldn't call you that. lol I know how this infuriates men. However, the second time thats when its time for him to show her whats good for the goose is good for the gander. Be he did ask her to split up for 2months cause he can't stand being friends.

[Mike1966]

This is a completely new man. The first one was an old High School Boyfriend. This one is a co-worker of hers. I do not know who she is anymore. The person I once loved is truly lost and gone forever.

 

LMDG-

 

Sorry I haven't stayed up with your thread, my friend. I've caught myself up and feel for you with what you've gone through, but at the same time "hear" from your posts that your head is screwed on straight and that "you" and your son are going to be okay.

 

You're a great guy with great qualities that, in time, will make a woman one heckuva great catch. Focus on your relationship with God, your son, having peace through the storm and you'll be taken care of, trust me.

 

You know my situation, and I can tell you, looking back now, I know that my future is much brighter without my STBX and that I will be a happier man. I was committed, just like you, to making things work, but in the end though God HATES divorce, he also gives us the free will to choose.

 

Hang in there and keep me posted on your situation!

[LosingMyDreamGirl]

enI manage a storage facility here in Texas. There is a tenant of mine that moved in a little over a year ago. She is the little sister of my STBXW's highschool friends. Anyways, everytime she would come in, we would talk. mainly about her family ad her ex-BF, (since she moved in crying over him, I was there to offer support). Anyways, we have kind of became friends. We never talked outside of my job. it was pretty much once a month when she came in to pay her rent. Well, here recently, especially since I have been losing weight, she has come in and complimented me on my looks and the good job I was doing. It felt good to hear it from someone that didnt owe it to me.

 

The month of Sept. came around and she did not come in, her mom came in to pay her rent. I was kind of sad she did not come in, but it was cool. Was not really important. When Oct. came around, I wanted her to come in. She ended up coming in and was amazed (I have gone from 355 to 242 in 8 months). We talked for 2 hours. She already knew about STBXW's cheating back in march. She had her problems with her boyfriend back in the day and I had helped her, so i really felt I could trust her (and also get a female POV). She neded up leaving me her number to call her when i needed.

 

I called her twice to talk about my wife, but when my wife told me she was wanting a divorce, I called her to go out. We ended up not going out, but a week later, she came over and we talked. Nothing special. We did talk about sex and what we liked, but nothing beyond.

 

The next day, she texted me a joke we had talked about the night before and we started chatting. Then she sent me a message that pretty much let me know she wanted sex. I didnt know what to say. never had a woman hit on me before. heck, even my wife really didnt do that.

 

At first I acted like Id idnt know what was going on, but I eventually gave in and we agreed she could come over Weds night.

 

I have always thought this girl was cute. She has pretty hair and a pretty face. She has nice teeth and beautiful blue eyes. Anyways, she comes over and she looks stunning. I had never seen her wear clothes that showed off her body. It was always something baggy or work clothes or something along those lines. I was totally impressed.

 

Anyways we talked for a bit and started fooling around. Now here is the rules. Neither one of us want a relationship. there is no kissing and especially no terms of endearment. We will not do things as a couple should if we (which I am sure we will) hang out like dinner or theatre. She pays for her own things and I pay for mine.

 

Anyways, long story short, she is the second woman I have ever been with. What is even more amazing is, she is 8 years younger than me and I love it.

 

I dont know if could really like this girl beyond what I have right now because I do still love my wife and i want my son to have a whole family, but on a selfish and worldy note: This woman did stuff to me my wife had never done! I mean, my wife is seriously a 'cold fish' compared to this woman. I loved it. We do get along great and think alot of the same things are funny. She likes the music I like, the movies I like, loves that I am artistic and doesnt care that I play video games.

 

I dont know how to feel, really. It would be nice to have someone to cuddle again and kiss, but I dont want to do it for the wrong reasons. The sex was easy for me because that is one thing I have been able to keep separate. I will admit, it was hard not wanting to kiss her. She is very pretty and has inviting lips.

 

Anyways, i have probably made things harder on myself and dont know, but I guess I will have to live with it.

[Mike1966]

LMDG-

 

Hey man, I appreciate your being honest and straightforward in your post about what's going on with this chick.

 

You have to decide what you want, but I can't think that this will be good for your emotional well being right now. To base any kind of relationship, friendship.....whatever, purely on the desire for sex is not something I would agree with but that's your call. If she was this strong coming on to you, and apparently this experienced in the sex department, how many other men has she done this with? I would almost feel better for you if you were really wanting a relationship with her.

 

You know my situation, LMDG, I can tell you, I don't have the feelings for my STBX that you seem to. After months and months of trying and being committed to the marriage and her, when she told me she wanted to date someone else, it was like God released my emotions from that woman. I can tell you, looking back now, I was always infatuated with my wife and loved her body and sex with her. Maybe that was part of the issue................too strong a desire for that, and really maybe not much else of a relationship??

 

I'm not trying to be difficult, just asking you to approach any relationship here on out with caution, and I would advise you not to just be with someone for sex. You were trying to stay close to God through this, how do you think he views just getting together for sex??

 

It's your call......................but you have to realize you're still likely an emotional mess from the STBX and you need to take time and rebuild yourself the right way.

 

Best of luck.

[confuzd]

Hey LMDG,

 

Sorry to hear that happened,

 

Here is what I can tell you though, whether you get back with your wife is totally up to you.

 

I will tell you that if you really want to get back with her it is most certainly possible.

 

It is all dependent upon how much you are able to forgive and overlook.

 

Your wife is out of her mind right now, but will come back to her senses one day.

 

whether it will be too late is up to you.

 

I recommend you enjoying your life, date if you like, but try not get feelings for another woman, it will only make it more difficult for you if the time comes for you and your wife to reconcilliate.

 

again sorry to hear that she cheated again, from what I understand this is strike 3.

 

most would definitely say move on, I would probably have to agree, but again this is all up to you.

 

just know that if you truly truly want to, you can be with her again. I just don't know if it would be worth it.

 

confuzd.

[LosingMyDreamGirl]

I went over to my wife's parents house last tuesday. I talked to her about true love, family and the things I wanted out of life (even though I never acted like I did). She showed more emotion that night since I have seen in like 5 or 6 months. We ended up kissing real passionate like 2 times and then she gave me 4 quick pecks on the lips. I told her I loved her and that she needed to end the divorce. She said no.

 

I told her to remember this night and I left. I tried one last time.

 

Last night, I went over to visit my son. me and my soon to be ex ended up going for a walk. We talked about her relationship and about the one (i would like to have) with this waitress. We eventually got back to her parents and she opened the tail gate on her dads truck. I was standing there against the tail gate with her knees between my legs and my hands rested on her hips. I leaned my head in and she leaned hers in. I played with her hair and held the back of her neck ever so softly. I told her that I want my family more than anything else, but I told if she ever came back to me, if she wanted her family, there would be alot of things she would lose until I could trust her again... but that I would do it.

 

I leaned in to kiss her and she turned her head. I asked her if she wanted me to kiss her and she said yes. I said why are you turning your head and she said she wants it on her cheek. I asked her if she liked when i kissed her and she said yes.

 

I then asked her what she was going to do when her relationship ended with this other guy. She said she didnt know. I asked her if she wanted to come back to me and she said we would have to take it slow. I asked her if she could love me again and she said yes. I asked her if she loved this other man and she said I dont know. Sometimes I think i do, but i dont know. I asked her if she loved me and she said yes.

 

She eventually told me she had to go in, but as she was walking in, i told her i loved her and she said "I love you too"

 

I am so confused. I want my life with my family.... I am willing to wait for the sake of my son, but I have so many people telling me to move on... that it is not worth it....

 

I was always taught that doing the right thing is the HARDEST thing you could ever do. God knows it is hard for me to not just move on.

[Chrome Barracuda]

You need to let her go. Let her make the first move, if she doesnt then she wont. I'd move on.

 

I'm sorry. But dont go backwards move forward!!!!