niceguy27 Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 I wanted to post here also to get more opinions on what transpired... Met with Ex. Last night I saw my ex for the first time in two weeks. We went to a mutual friends b day party at a beer tent. We drove together and I tell you what...I didnt bring us up one time. Just shot the breeze the whole way there. We stopped at her moms to get something and walked from there to the tent. There, I saw her dad and the three of us small talked until we sat down with the friends. The few hours we were there we just hung out and things were kind of normal. We walked back to her moms, got my vehicle and left. On the way home we stopped to get something to eat. As we pulled over to eat, SHE brought us up. "Want to talk about us?" I will tell you what, it actually worked. I said I guess, and I let her do almost ALL the talking. That is one of the first times I think I have ever held my tongue and created a bit of silence after she spoke. I prayed all day that I would find the right words to say to her when this time came. After seeing where she was, I chose them very carefully. Mind you, we have not seen or really spoken for 2-3 weeks. She told me that she does miss me tremendously and wants to come running back in my arms. But at the same time, she realizes that right now she needs to be 100% sure about her and I. She wants to do this now and not later down the road if we have a family. So she is forcing herself to step back and try to see what she has. I commend her for being honest at least with me and herself. I didnt really say a whole lot. Silence is golden sometimes. After she said that, I could tell it was a fragile moment. She truly was on the fence and a yes or no question was not what was to be asked. I told her that if its meant to be, its meant to be. That threw her for a loop, thinking that I was giving up on her. I told her that it has not been all that long since we have been separated and I am not ready to make a decision right now to go one way or the other....See what happened? Suddenly I need to think things through also. Not playing games, but after this much time, I have had time to think with a little bit clearer head. I could see that she was nervous thinking I was gonna ask a yes or no question like that. So it all ended when we got home and she came in for a few minutes. I looked at her and was honest. Myself. I said what we have is real. Its not some lovey dovey infatuation relationship like previous ex's. I told her I can see it in her eyes when she looks at me and feel it in her embrace when we hold each other how real it is. I told her I know she is scared to trust her feelings and it is something SHE has to get through. I said I have done all I can to try to help and its up to her to decide where it is going to go. I told her WE cannot be friends during this. Its not fair to give false hope to either of us. She agreed. So all in all, a good night I beleive. Communication lines were open and reciprocated. Even after the talk, there was never any mention of an ultimatum or deadline for us to talk/decide again. Things just kind of ended with a hug, a small kiss, and me not really saying anything else. I had sent her a txt after she left saying that if its meant to be we will find each other again sometime and somewhere down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Sounds like you did good. You took down her defenses when you let her talk. Let her come chasing after you. Keep doing what you have been doing (and have patience in this) and good chance she will want to work things out. Not sure of your ages, but if you are serious about marriage, etc.. then counseling would be of benefit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted September 7, 2007 Author Share Posted September 7, 2007 Im 27 and she is 24. Kind of young, yes. And that is why she is at this crossroads I think. I havent mentioned counseling with her. I want her to try to do this on her own, then if that fails, maybe use it as a last resort. I think that would really scare her. We have discussed marriage and stuff, but I am trying to lay off for a little bit until she has some time to make a decision about what she wants. I want to work through this and am fairly sure I am willing to see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Travis L Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 I'm so freaking jealous right now...lol... Good job man! I wish I would have done it like that... Keeping your cool...even though you want to scream from the mountains: "I LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU BACK!!!!!!!!" Again, congrats man...you did what you needed to do to improve your chances of getting her back (if you still want her back). Link to post Share on other sites
KneelBeforeZod Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Well played, sir! Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 If she decides not to get back together, can I have you? Very well done. Link to post Share on other sites
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