How Do You Get Over Having an Absent Family?

[uniqueone]

What was the point in starting this thread? You threw out a problem and people gave their comments. It wasn't what you wanted to hear and then you got all defensive.

 

Did you want to hear that your sister was rude or a bad person? and for someone to say poor you?

 

Seriously... what did you expect and what did you want to hear?

 

I don't want to continue the argument lovelorcet. We've moved past that.

[Trialbyfire]

You've GOT to be kidding.....someone can go from being bipolar (which I DO NOT have btw) to NOT being bipolar?

 

Temperment....we are born with. It's been proven.

 

You CAN modify your behavior.

 

You CANNOT change your genes....your temperment....or your history.

You can change how genetics/history affects your behaviour.

[uniqueone]

You can change how genetics/history affects your behaviour.

 

 

Yes....if you'll read what I wrote....I DID say that you CAN modify your behavior.

[Trialbyfire]

Yes....if you'll read what I wrote....I DID say that you CAN modify your behavior.

Modifying behaviour doesn't always get to root cause because you can suppress negative emotions, without having a sinkhole to drain it away with. If you modify how you view and process genetics/history, it will help your behavioural output.

[uniqueone]

Modifying behaviour doesn't always get to root cause because you can suppress negative emotions, without having a sinkhole to drain it away with. If you modify how you view and process genetics/history, it will help your behavioural output.

 

TBF, go back and read my post about modifying behavior and then go back and read your response. They're the same. You're trying to make a disagreement where there is none.

 

I don't want to play that game today. I have a headache already.

 

 

Here's a test: Black.......

[sb129]

You've GOT to be kidding.....someone can go from being bipolar (which I DO NOT have btw) to NOT being bipolar?

 

Temperment....we are born with. It's been proven.

 

You CAN modify your behavior.

 

You CANNOT change your genes....your temperment....or your history.

 

You didn't say anything about "bipolar" in that post. See:-

 

They're born with an easy going temperment and aren't too emotional. They aren't prone to depression or other similar disorders...at least not in any major way.

 

Now let's take someone else. They're born with a sensitive temperment and are more emotional. They're prone to depression, anxiety, panic attacks, manic depression or any other similar disorders.

 

You simply listed a list of character traits that I used to identify with. I had moderate depression a year and a half ago, I got panics attacks, anxiety, was very emotionally sensitive etc etc. However, I don't identify with them so much anymore, I am much more easygoing and I can safely say that for now, I am much less prone to depression, and am more rational.

AND happier!

 

Behaviour and temperament are linked, and there are many examples of people successfully changing BOTH.

If it was impossible, there would be no point in having rehab, anger management, counselling, therapy etc etc.

[uniqueone]

You didn't say anything about "bipolar" in that post.

 

"manic depression" was mentioned in my post. It is another term used for "bipolar".

 

You simply listed a list of character traits that I used to identify with. I had moderate depression a year and a half ago, I got panics attacks, anxiety, was very emotionally sensitive etc etc. However, I don't identify with them so much anymore, I am much more easygoing and I can safely say that for now, I am much less prone to depression, and am more rational.

AND happier!

 

So how did you change that, Sb?

 

Behaviour and temperament are linked, and there are many examples of people successfully changing BOTH.

If it was impossible, there would be no point in having rehab, anger management, counselling, therapy etc etc.

 

You can change behavior...not temperment. There's research on the topic if you care to study if further.

[sb129]

"manic depression" was mentioned in my post. It is another term used for "bipolar".

 

If you get depression it doesn't automatically follow that you will end up with manic depression.

 

So how did you change that, Sb?

 

Been trying to tell ya, you weren't that keen on listening.

 

 

You can change behavior...not temperment. There's research on the topic if you care to study if further.

 

Not really. I have no problems with either my temperament or 95% of my behaviour at present. Life is good.

[uniqueone]

Originally Posted by uniqueone

"manic depression" was mentioned in my post. It is another term used for "bipolar".

 

If you get depression it doesn't automatically follow that you will end up with manic depression.

 

 

Argghhh..... In NO way at all was I saying that. In fact, depression and manic depression are two entirely different things....ENTIRELY. They're not even related.

I'm not going to re-explain what I meant. It will just get misinterpretted again. I thought I was very clear.

 

 

 

 

 

Quote:

So how did you change that, Sb?

Been trying to tell ya, you weren't that keen on listening.

 

So then, you won't answer that?

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by uniqueone

You can change behavior...not temperment. There's research on the topic if you care to study if further.

 

Not really. I have no problems with either my temperament or 95% of my behaviour at present. Life is good.

 

This really is irrelevant. The reply I gave was based on your saying that temperament can be changed, not on whether or not your temperament was good or not.

[uniqueone]

I've seen what the knowledge level of psychological issues or mental illnesses is with some posters on this thread, and I've realized that I'm trying to discuss something that people are just not well enough informed about. Therefore, this is really pointless to discuss and so we should just let this thread go. Thanks for all who've been helpful.

[sb129]

I have an exceptionally good understanding of mental illness.

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

Not to mention the fact that I am a registered, practising health professional who deals with it on a daily basis.

 

I was challenging YOUR statement that "people can't change their temperament", and also challenging your statement that people can't go from being "prone to depression, anxious" etc etc to "not as prone to depression, laidback, and less emotional".

I disagree with BOTH your statements, as IMO, it is possible.

 

PS- if you want to quote research, its common practice to actually name your source. If your source is the internet, don't rely on it 100% unless it has been peer reviewed by noteworthy individuals in that particular field.

 

I don't need "research" to justify MY behaviour.

I have personal experience, and an ability to look back at my past behaviour and think to myself:

"whoa, I really was kinda nutty back then, I made life so hard for myself by comparing myself to everyone else, I feel so much better now, life is so much easier since I faced my demons, gave myself a mental kick in the backside, and stopped blaming everyone else for my shortcomings".

 

Guess you haven't reached that stage yet.

[Trialbyfire]

Food for thought which I'll be blasted for by the OP....

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder

[Kasan]

Well maybe it's time to start a new thread where we give ourselves a mental kick in the backside..or a thread where we face down our demons.

 

I could surely use one!!!!

[uniqueone]

I have an exceptionally good understanding of mental illness.

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

Not to mention the fact that I am a registered, practising health professional who deals with it on a daily basis.

 

Just because you have had depression does not mean that you understand ALL mental illnesses. Your statements gave me enough information that you did not. You did not know that manic depression is the same as bipolar disorder and you made the statement that not everyone with depression becomes manic depressive/bipolar. Neither of those things would have been said by you if you have extensive knowledge in this area.

 

And being a health professional (nurse) has NOTHING to do with understanding mental illness. OMG, there are so many health professionals who are not in the field of mental health who have no real understanding of it. Being a health professional adds no weight to it, I'm afraid.

 

I was challenging YOUR statement that "people can't change their temperament", and also challenging your statement that people can't go from being "prone to depression, anxious" etc etc to "not as prone to depression, laidback, and less emotional".

I disagree with BOTH your statements, as IMO, it is possible.

 

PS- if you want to quote research, its common practice to actually name your source. If your source is the internet, don't rely on it 100% unless it has been peer reviewed by noteworthy individuals in that particular field.

 

This gave me a chuckle....mostly because you don't know my background. Incidentally, my studies in the field began well before the internet was ever around. Try looking up "Kiersey".

 

I don't need "research" to justify MY behaviour.

I have personal experience, and an ability to look back at my past behaviour and think to myself:

"whoa, I really was kinda nutty back then, I made life so hard for myself by comparing myself to everyone else, I feel so much better now, life is so much easier since I faced my demons, gave myself a mental kick in the backside, and stopped blaming everyone else for my shortcomings".

 

And THAT'S your evidence that temperament can change??? I hate to tell you but that's not valid data. You "FEEL" better now. So to you...that means that your temperament changed? You need to study "temperament" more to get a better understanding of its meaning.

 

Guess you haven't reached that stage yet.

 

Guess you haven't reached the stage I'm at with my knowledge of this subject.

[uniqueone]

Food for thought which I'll be blasted for by the OP....

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder

 

It's funny you should mention that because I've been involved with narcissists so I know this subject well. What's funny about this is that it's what I've thought about you. I just never said it because it would be flaming.....sort of like what you just did to me in your post.

[uniqueone]

Well maybe it's time to start a new thread where we give ourselves a mental kick in the backside..or a thread where we face down our demons.

 

I could surely use one!!!!

 

 

I tried to end the thread Kasan, but as you can see, there are certain ones that just want to keep stirring the pot and even trying to worsen things by starting to flame me which won't be allowed.

[Trialbyfire]

It's funny you should mention that because I've been involved with narcissists so I know this subject well. What's funny about this is that it's what I've thought about you. I just never said it because it would be flaming.....sort of like what you just did to me in your post.

 

Here's another article about NPD from the mayo clinic. The suggested treatment is psychotherapy.

 

Btw, when I was going to therapy after my NPD ex-H cheated on me, my therapist and I discussed this disorder in length. Sorry to say...but I don't have NPD. My ex-H also went to therapy and he was diagnosed as such.

 

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/narcissistic-personality-disorder/DS00652

 

Although people with narcissistic personality disorder have an exaggerated image of their own importance, they have vulnerable self-esteems and often don't like themselves. Therefore, they seek attention that confirms their grandiosity. When feedback doesn't validate their exaggerated image, they tend to lash out or withdraw.

[uniqueone]

Here's another article about NPD from the mayo clinic. The suggested treatment is psychotherapy.

 

Btw, when I was going to therapy after my NPD ex-H cheated on me, my therapist and I discussed this disorder in length. Sorry to say...but I don't have NPD. My ex-H also went to therapy and he was diagnosed as such.

 

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/narcissistic-personality-disorder/DS00652

 

 

You crack me up.....LOL....

If ANYBODY here has an exaggerrated image of their own self-importance, TBF, I think you know who that is.......

 

What's even funnier is that those who know me IRL would say the opposite since I recently had something published and they were all making a big to-do about it and I was just shrugging it off. I even had one today ask me if I showed it to this higher-up and I just nooooo.....and they told me that I should. I'm not going to though. I pretty much just lay low.

 

But I guess that's a narcissist, huh??? LOL!

 

But your stuff is getting tiring and it's really starting to show me that you have some problems especially since you keep posting to me on every thread I post on. This is just getting weird and creepy you know?

[Trialbyfire]

But your stuff is getting tiring and it's really starting to show me that you have some problems especially since you keep posting to me on every thread I post on. This is just getting weird and creepy you know?

Now that's fascinating. You might want to go back and look again...

 

I think I'm drawn to this thread and do have a need to fix you, because of my ex-H. It's my own form of cycling by attempting to fix a possible NPDer.

[uniqueone]

Now that's fascinating. You might want to go back and look again...

 

I think I'm drawn to this thread and do have a need to fix you, because of my ex-H. It's my own form of cycling by attempting to fix a possible NPDer.

 

 

Ok....here's what you do.....go get a mirror....take a look in it....and start fixing away........

[Trialbyfire]

Ok....here's what you do.....go get a mirror....take a look in it....and start fixing away........

Are you happy because you're getting attention from someone?

[uniqueone]

Are you happy because you're getting attention from someone?

Your posts just provide me with entertainment.

[Trialbyfire]

Your posts just provide me with entertainment.

Do you feel empowered?

[underpants]

Awe,

 

HUG IT OUT

[uniqueone]

Do you feel empowered?

No...I just feel really drained after your posts..

 

You remind me of someone I know who has to have her way and she won't let anything go until she has her way...and people finally just give in and do whatever just to get her off their back. That's this woman that I know. It's just draining.

 

TBF, I'm not letting you have your way ok? I'm just not going to play anymore at all. No more play-mate. Bye-bye. Don't expect anymore replies from me. Go to bed....find a hobby....do SOMETHING!