lilablue Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 I dont know if this is a break-up or not. I have been seeing this married guy since last summer. We met on the job. I recently moved out of the area for another job. I have made the effort to continue to see him by visiting. The last visit was great. I told him that I would have some free time off from work to see him again. He said that sounded great. I gave him my info of where I would be staying and the dates. He emailed me saying that he had to work that weekend. I became frustrated but took it in stride. He later requested some nude photos of me which I gladly sent. However, he started wanting some shots of me with my face on them. I thought that was weird since he has never requested that before. I became suspicious and thought maybe he gave one of his buddies his email. I guess I insulted him by requesting that he answer some questions that only he would know. He answer one and stated what was wrong with me. I told him to call me. He said goodbye. I responded back with goodbye then. The next day, he said lets forget about what happened yesterday. He then asked me when I was coming into town. I gave him the dates again. I didnt hear from all week. So, I sent him an email saying are we still cool? HE HAS NOT REPLIED TO ME??? what gives. My friend says that its not over and i should not panic. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 I have made the effort Yes, you're making all the effort. He's seeing you when it's convenient. He's getting his jollies with the nudie pics of you. He's ignoring your needs and wants. What exactly are you getting out of this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilablue Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 Norajean, I understand where you are coming from. However, I am just looking for something casual. My question is really...is it over? He has not replied to me. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 This past summer or LAST year's summer? How long has he been married and does he have children? Honestly, I hate to say this to you, but you need to hear it. The way he is treating you, like a piece of meat, you're his play thing. He doesn't respect you. I mean, asking you for nude pictures, then more of you showing your face? LISTEN to your gut! Remember, this man is LYING to his wife, so don't fool yourself into believing he's completely honest with you. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 Norajean, I understand where you are coming from. However, I am just looking for something casual. My question is really...is it over? He has not replied to me. You say you're looking for something casual, but your expectations are that of a real relationship. I don't think it's over. I think you'll hear from him when he, er, wants some, and if you make it easy for him. Easy is the key word. Anything that seems to him as though you are demanding or making things complicated for him, he will back off...he already has a wife and a relationship where he has to be accountable. He doesn't want to be accountable to you, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilablue Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 This summer. He has two small kids. I just wanted to know if he will ever contact me again? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 My question is really...is it over? He has not replied to me. Do you want it to be over? If no, what do you want from him? Just some fun? A full-on affair? To be the OW in his life? Do you expect him to end his marriage and marry you? Why are you letting HIM decide if it's over or not. If you want it over, END IT. Simple. If you want him, then you're going to have to get used to HIM calling the shots, seeing and talking to you on HIS terms, HIS timetable. Get used to being last...He won't put you first above his wife, his children, his family, friends and his job. Take some time and read other threads in this section, then ask yourself if you really want to pursue this jerk. Don't you feel you deserve a man who is single and can offer you MORE? Instead, you're settling for another woman's husband who is just looking for something on the side...If I were in your shoes, I'd be insulted and disguisted! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 This summer. He has two small kids. I just wanted to know if he will ever contact me again? Get out now before you get very hurt. As I said in an earlier post, go read threads in this section...Then, go to the infidelity section and read about the lives that get turned upside down, the devastation that a betrayed spouse goes through after finding out their spouse cheated on them. Think of these children...DO you really want to help this guy cheat on his wife, betray his WHOLE family? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilablue Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 I am not there yet. I am in grad school. I dont have the time for a full-time relationship. I am just curious why he hasnt contacted me in almost a month now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilablue Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 Well, he might have ended by not contacted me or trying to see me when I was in town a couple weeks. Who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 A MONTH? I was under the impression it was a week. I think you need to write this one off as over. You're in grad school - surely there are some single guys around you could be f*ck buddies with if you don't want a full time relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
woe_is_me Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 I dont know if this is a break-up or not. I have been seeing this married guy since last summer. We met on the job. I recently moved out of the area for another job. I have made the effort to continue to see him by visiting. The last visit was great. I told him that I would have some free time off from work to see him again. He said that sounded great. I gave him my info of where I would be staying and the dates. He emailed me saying that he had to work that weekend. I became frustrated but took it in stride. He later requested some nude photos of me which I gladly sent. However, he started wanting some shots of me with my face on them. I thought that was weird since he has never requested that before. I became suspicious and thought maybe he gave one of his buddies his email. I guess I insulted him by requesting that he answer some questions that only he would know. He answer one and stated what was wrong with me. I told him to call me. He said goodbye. I responded back with goodbye then. The next day, he said lets forget about what happened yesterday. He then asked me when I was coming into town. I gave him the dates again. I didnt hear from all week. So, I sent him an email saying are we still cool? HE HAS NOT REPLIED TO ME??? what gives. My friend says that its not over and i should not panic. you ARE panicking... and you've made yourself wayyyy too available he isn't even in it for the thrill of the chase anymore.. It's like putting a platter of food in front of an overindulgent pig whose just finished a huge platter of food already... And unless it was verbal, he probably lost all the info you gave him about the dates/times you'd be available as he wouldnt want his wife finding emails/notes/..i.e evidence... Some guys do have buddies they pass emails onto ..some have buddies that get that info without them knowing..you sound like a smart girl.. don't get involved with this guy..he sounds like he really doesn't care about you.. And never mind the way it leaves the wife/family feeling (which is probably devastated) .. you'll be too busy nursing your own broken heart to care one iota about them .. he is only hurting ALL of you .. good luck .. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilablue Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 I go to school where there are two guys in my program. My married guy I have a connection. So you really think that we I sent him an email saying" are we still cool", he thought that was his out. I think he is crazy to let it end like this. I could easily contact his wife and spill the beans. I went out of town with him and have pictures to prove it. I have dates to prove that he was with me. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 Then have a casual relationship, a part time with someone SINGLE. Messing with a married guy will mess YOU up. I am just curious why he hasnt contacted me in almost a month now. His silence is telling you it is over. Take that as a hint and move on. He certainly has. I could easily contact his wife and spill the beans. I went out of town with him and have pictures to prove it. I have dates to prove that he was with me. Are you kidding me? What do you think his wife will do, hand over her husband to you if you tell? He'll THROW YOUR ass under the bus and say you're crazy and full of crap. leave him alone. Respect that it is over and move on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilablue Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 I thought guys just dont end things abruptly??? My friend who hates this affair -swears that I i will hear from again. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 A person who is wanting something casual doesn't ask the questions you are asking, nor do they imply a threat like you have either. I hope for his sake, and the sake of his family that you never see or hear from him again. You sound like the sort who will f*ck up his life in a variety of bunny boiling ways. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilablue Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 You really think its over...just like that. I didnt make any demands on him. We had talked about meeting up together. Maybe he found another girlfriend at work? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilablue Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 Hardly, I just ask or we still cool? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilablue Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 Well, thats what he wanted. We both got a thrill from it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 You sound like the sort who will f*ck up his life in a variety of bunny boiling ways. I sadly agree with you LB. Lila, I wish you would forget about this married man and move on. But, something tells me you couldn't give a crap either way. The game you're playing is all about EGO. Very dangerous, too. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 I just went back and read your old posts, Lila. Let's just say this guy will be lucky to get himself out of this with a minimum of collateral damage. I almost feel sorry for him, insofar as you can feel sorry for a guy who f*cks around on his wife. Some would even say that this sort of OW is exactly what he deserves. I bet if he gets himself out of this, he will think twice before f*cking around again. We can only hope, eh? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 I go to school where there are two guys in my program. So what? There are plenty of other guys who are not in your program hanging around the school and the coffee shops nearby. Meet them. My married guy I have a connection. It sounds more like you had a casual sex relationship when it was convenient and when it was easy to be together because you were around at work. So you really think that we I sent him an email saying" are we still cool", he thought that was his out. Your moving away gave him an easy out. The fact that he knew when you were in town and didn't bother contacting you should tell you it's over. I think he is crazy to let it end like this. I could easily contact his wife and spill the beans. I went out of town with him and have pictures to prove it. I have dates to prove that he was with me. I thought you said all you wanted was something casual. Wreaking havoc in his marriage doesn't sound at all like it was casual for you. You're far too upset for something that was merely casual. Let it go. You knew it wasn't going to last forever, so just tell yourself it was fun while it lasted and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilablue Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 what game? I just wanted to know if he will reply back. I just asked him if I had pissed him off and if we are still cool? I am not a fatal attraction kinda of gal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilablue Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 I hope I hear from again. My girlfriends say that guys never leave. She has guys contacted her after a year. You have to be very brutal with some of them to get rid of them. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 She has guys contacted her after a year Yeah, and they're only after one thing. WOw, so flattering eh? Respect yourself and forget this MM. I am not a fatal attraction kinda of gal. You sure about that? Because if you tell his wife, be prepared for the consquences of telling her. It may not go as you planned it to go. I just wanted to know if he will reply back. Take his hint, his silence. HE IS NOT INTO YOU. IF he was, don't you think he would have contacted you already? MEN who play games and screw around for fun DO what this guy is doing...You find that flattering? Honestly, you seem VERY young and have alot to learn about MEN period. Link to post Share on other sites
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