norajane Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 I have yet to hear of a woman being blindsided by a husband that was happily married one day and the next day wanted out at the drop of a hat. As for becoming like what I fear right now there is a cold war between men and women in our society and I am getting on my side. Most women have some level of hatred against men so if I am trying to make peace with people who think I am scum because of how I was born I will be the loser. In order to beat the feminazis a man has to become like them. I think all your crap about women is just that, crap. Regardless, what does it matter, anyway? You are not a soldier in a battle of the sexes. You are one guy married to one woman, and that's really the only thing you need to care about. Why do you care so much about everyone else and what goes on between them? What possible difference can it make? Look at it this way - even if all other women were as pure as new-fallen snow, it wouldn't mean diddly if YOUR wife was as evil as sin. So why does it matter if all other women are evil, as long as YOUR own wife is not? Don't pay attention to anyone else's relationship - just focus on making yours the best it can be. Enjoy what you have. Life is too short to do otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 I have yet to hear of a woman being blindsided by a husband that was happily married one day and the next day wanted out at the drop of a hat. No, that's because they're too busy beating the living crap outta their wives. Or they go and cheat. Trust me, the signs are always there...9/10 many say looking back "oh yeah, that WAS a red flag." Wog - All you and your wife have to do is communicate, listen to eachother, understand eachother, give eachother respect, honesty and love. You two are friends, yes? Not only husband and wife...You two are partners, so remember, work WITH your wife, not against her. I said it before, I'll say it again - Get that cute ass of yours BACK into therapy. If you don't, you'll balk and lose everything. Sorry, but you are old enough and smart enough to know the stuff that you're freaking out over IS fixable...That is, IF you choose to fix it or let it ruin your life... Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Isn't it amazing how Woggle is quiet for about a month, then comes out with these ignorant immature posts and here we are into another Woggle Thread. I am really starting to think it is an act. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Isn't it amazing how Woggle is quiet for about a month, then comes out with these ignorant immature posts and here we are into another Woggle Thread. I am really starting to think it is an act. What I find amazing is, even though he is constantly spouting his mysoginist rants about women throughout all his posts on LS, the women here keep trying to help him with his marriage...and he doesn't see that as evidence that women aren't all bad, nor even the irony of it. He believes the worst of us, yet we still try to support him. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 What I find amazing is, even though he is constantly spouting his mysoginist rants about women throughout all his posts on LS, the women here keep trying to help him with his marriage...and he doesn't see that as evidence that women aren't all bad, nor even the irony of it. He believes the worst of us, yet we still try to support him. Hence why I think it is an act. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 What I find amazing is, even though he is constantly spouting his mysoginist rants about women throughout all his posts on LS, the women here keep trying to help him with his marriage...and he doesn't see that as evidence that women aren't all bad, nor even the irony of it. He believes the worst of us, yet we still try to support him. I think that it's because they(we) feel that deep down he loves his wife a great deal and is trying. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Maybe he's just looking for a way out. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Maybe he's just looking for a way out. Well that's what I said a few pages ago, he stated "also" he wants to start going out with his friend and sleeping around. By divorcing his wife "just in case" she was an evil man hating walkaway wife or whatever it is a total cop-out. Link to post Share on other sites
Mustang Sally Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 It wasn't. I am very conflicted right now. I was just reading another anti-male website that has me riled up again so this is how I am thinking right now. Just one time I want to be the aggressor instead of the victim.Maybe you need to go read Curmudgeon's thread on anger, revenge and vendettas? Just a thought. Sounds like you are experiencing a second (or a persistent) adolescence to me. Truly. Good luck with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 I think his first wife was twisted and evil and would make anyone paranoid. Not true! I had dealings with a she-devil and I'm not paranoid. They really ARE out to get me! Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Woggle! Get some help. You really need it. But that been recommended to you by many before and you'll just continue to ignore it. You are truly disturbed and your wife either loves you lots, is desperate to have a man in her life or is numb between the ears to put up with your constant stinkin' thinkin'. Tell us again why you bother with this site. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 I think that it's because they(we) feel that deep down he loves his wife a great deal and is trying. Do, or do not. There is no 'try'. (, I just quoted Yoda!) Love is an action, not just a feeling. And how is he acting? In a loving way? Is he being loving? What is he actually DOING to be loving and to strengthen his marriage? Is he honestly sharing his fears with his wife, so she knows who the man she married really is? Is he in therapy and working through the issues in his past that he still allows to ruin his life today? Is he immersing himself in his wife, his passions and interests, and creating the kind of marriage and life he wants to have? No, he's not. What he is doing is not kissing his wife when she comes home from work. What he is doing is tarring his wife with the potential walkaway wife brush. What he is doing is directing his misogynist rage against his wife. What he is doing is hiding his true self from his wife. What he is doing is holding back in his marriage by withholding trust and honesty. What he is doing is spending all day long getting riled up by reading cheating wives boards, and anti-male bitch boards. He is indulging in an orgy of woman-hating rants. He is shoring up for the cold war walkaway women are waging blah blah blah. He is thinking about screwing other women, literally and figuratively, just so he can screw his wife over like he expects she'll one day screw him. Where's the love, huh? The only thing he's doing that might be considered loving is coming here and venting instead of verbally pouring his rage onto his wife or actually cheating on her. I don't know if it's helping - his broken record is stuck on the same old rant. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Well that's what I said a few pages ago, he stated "also" he wants to start going out with his friend and sleeping around. By divorcing his wife "just in case" she was an evil man hating walkaway wife or whatever it is a total cop-out. The thought of not wanting to be tied down crossed my mine when he started talking about his plans. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 You guys are lifesavers you really are. I don't know what I would do without this outlet I know I sound like a broken record but I am working on my issues. I spent a lot of time today thinking and I can be me with my wife. She doesn't try to change me, nag me or even keep me from my friends and believe me I have some unsavory friends from back in the day. This is more than I could say for a lot of marriages. Today she got home before me and she picked me up my favorite ice cream that was on sale at the supermarket. I know it seems small but little stuff like that shows me does care. It seems that I have lucked out. I know I probably sound bi-polar with the way I just switched moods but I am very conflicted and many men are going through these problems but that is no reason to take it out on my wife. I am still starting the business next year though and she might even get involved. Link to post Share on other sites
climbergirl Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Not true! I had dealings with a she-devil and I'm not paranoid. They really ARE out to get me! LOL You're not helping!! (but funny:laugh:) Isn't Woggles ex in jail? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 LOL You're not helping!! (but funny:laugh:) Isn't Woggles ex in jail? Yup for trying to shoot me. Link to post Share on other sites
lonelybird Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 woggle seriously, continually feeding yourself with those fears from men-bashing sites is really bad idea borrow from a pastor. our decisions make our fate; our charators make our our decision; our thought make our charators; what we feed us makes our thought. so your fate is in your hand. those negativeness only scare people, do nothing good Link to post Share on other sites
climbergirl Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 You guys are lifesavers you really are. I don't know what I would do without this outlet I know I sound like a broken record but I am working on my issues. I spent a lot of time today thinking and I can be me with my wife. She doesn't try to change me, nag me or even keep me from my friends and believe me I have some unsavory friends from back in the day. This is more than I could say for a lot of marriages. Today she got home before me and she picked me up my favorite ice cream that was on sale at the supermarket. I know it seems small but little stuff like that shows me does care. It seems that I have lucked out. I know I probably sound bi-polar with the way I just switched moods but I am very conflicted and many men are going through these problems but that is no reason to take it out on my wife. I am still starting the business next year though and she might even get involved. See, now I don't think what your doing is bad..in fact you've found an outlet to vent w/o doing something detrimental IRL. Everyone has doubts. Not a bad thing to let them loose. (and let people tell you how you are erring in you ways.) From what I've read, you've always come around. Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 You guys are lifesavers you really are. I don't know what I would do without this outlet I know I sound like a broken record but I am working on my issues. I spent a lot of time today thinking and I can be me with my wife. She doesn't try to change me, nag me or even keep me from my friends and believe me I have some unsavory friends from back in the day. This is more than I could say for a lot of marriages. Today she got home before me and she picked me up my favorite ice cream that was on sale at the supermarket. I know it seems small but little stuff like that shows me does care. It seems that I have lucked out. I know I probably sound bi-polar with the way I just switched moods but I am very conflicted and many men are going through these problems but that is no reason to take it out on my wife. I am still starting the business next year though and she might even get involved. It's posts like this that keep me and so many others coming back again and again, woggle. I don't want to get you started again about these "walk away wives" you speak of, but in situations where one spouse feels blindsided by the departure of the other, there was a serious lack of communication between them. Either they weren't talking honestly, or somebody wasn't actually listening in most cases. I think you could talk to your wife and she would be understanding of your fears. I believe she loves you very much and would certainly want to assuage your fears in any way she could. Please remember that surfing those sites that upset you so much is counter-productive to growth in this area. Those sites are feeding your existing insecurity concerning the subject. If hitting yourself in the head with a hammer was causing you pain and headaches, I think you would stop doing it, and I don't find this in any way different. Good to see you lighten up tonight. Stay on that path. Link to post Share on other sites
tommyr Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 I know I probably sound bi-polar with the way I just switched moods but I am very conflicted.. Have you talked to you doctor? You really do sound conflicted, but you do not have to just suffer with it alone - there are many things that can help (besides ice cream only lasts a short while). Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 You guys are lifesavers you really are. I don't know what I would do without this outlet I know I sound like a broken record but I am working on my issues. I spent a lot of time today thinking and I can be me with my wife. She doesn't try to change me, nag me or even keep me from my friends and believe me I have some unsavory friends from back in the day. This is more than I could say for a lot of marriages. Today she got home before me and she picked me up my favorite ice cream that was on sale at the supermarket. I know it seems small but little stuff like that shows me does care. It seems that I have lucked out. I know I probably sound bi-polar with the way I just switched moods but I am very conflicted and many men are going through these problems but that is no reason to take it out on my wife. I am still starting the business next year though and she might even get involved. Now you're thinking positively and with your heart. You are trusting her! And, doesn't that feel good not to have all that crazy sh.it running through your head? When you really STOP and pay attention - You actually can see what a good thing you have infront of you. She is going to support you, with your new business, or through rough times. She isn't going to bail on you! Trust that! Yup, we'll be here for your next ass kicking! Sorry if some of my replies were harsh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 No need to apologize. When I get in a funk like that I need somebody to brutally honest with me. I guess it is hard being there for two friends going through divorces but instead I need to use these situations as reasons to appreciate what I have. It sure feels good not having to hand over my balls to have peace in my marriage, Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 It sure feels good not having to hand over my balls to have peace in my marriage, And this weekend it'll be It sure feels good having HER hand ON my balls...lol I know you have two friends going through a rough time, but you gotta learn NOT to let other people's problems bring you down. That can go for ANY problem...Be there to listen and help, but don't take their negative feelings and internalize it because it isn't your problem. Don't take it home with you...Leave it at the front door. Link to post Share on other sites
overseas2004 Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 I hate this stupid generality of women doing bad things to me. In my lifetime, I have been cheated on, lied to, and left at the friggen alter before I finally met the right guy. My first decade of dating was Dante's seven sections of hell and it wasnt because I was a bad girl. I dates a whole bunch of jerks who couldnt appreciate me or were too emotionally unstable to do so. Then I met my husband, whom I am very thankful that I did not blame for the asinine male behavior I encountered for all my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Kasan Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 You guys are lifesavers you really are. I don't know what I would do without this outlet I know I sound like a broken record but I am working on my issues. I spent a lot of time today thinking and I can be me with my wife. She doesn't try to change me, nag me or even keep me from my friends and believe me I have some unsavory friends from back in the day. This is more than I could say for a lot of marriages. Today she got home before me and she picked me up my favorite ice cream that was on sale at the supermarket. I know it seems small but little stuff like that shows me does care. It seems that I have lucked out. I know I probably sound bi-polar with the way I just switched moods but I am very conflicted and many men are going through these problems but that is no reason to take it out on my wife. I am still starting the business next year though and she might even get involved. All you really need to do is focus on the nice things that your wife does for you everyday. Buying your favorite ice cream, that is what love and marriage is all about...the little things. So go enjoy and stop stressing! Link to post Share on other sites
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