norajane Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 All you really need to do is focus on the nice things that your wife does for you everyday. Buying your favorite ice cream, that is what love and marriage is all about...the little things. So go enjoy and stop stressing! It can't hurt to do some nice things for HER, too. Buy her some ice cream or whatever sometime, too. Do the little things that will make her feel like you're her Romeo. We all know it feels good when you do nice things for people...it builds up all kinds of goodwill with both the recipient and the giver. Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted September 15, 2007 Share Posted September 15, 2007 No need to apologize. When I get in a funk like that I need somebody to brutally honest with me. I guess it is hard being there for two friends going through divorces but instead I need to use these situations as reasons to appreciate what I have. It sure feels good not having to hand over my balls to have peace in my marriage, Woggle, this is so good to hear! I am finally understanding that you vent here, and I'm glad that you do. We all have to hear the masses sometimes to have our lightbulb moments. I have had many of those on LS. I'm really sorry about your friends situations, but hearing you say that it's further proof that you have something good is exactly what so many of us have been trying to get across. Kudos to you, my friend, you get it! Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted September 15, 2007 Share Posted September 15, 2007 Want I should give her lessons? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 15, 2007 Author Share Posted September 15, 2007 I know this is going to sound sexist but here it goes. I truly do feel like my wife is the exception rather than the rule when it comes to women. I look at my friends marriages and I feel great sympathy for them. I look at many of the women I know and I feel great synpathy for any man they get involved. Many women these days have this self absorbed me me me mentality that makes it almost impossible to have any meaningful relationship with them. I am sorry if you don't fit the description but any woman that is honest with herself knows that many of her sisters are like this and I just don't see most women as worthy of any type of long term commitment because they flake out when things are less than 100% perfect. There is an article on MSN called the starter husband that describes the mentality of the modern woman perfectly. That being said I truly have lucked out and met a woman that is nothing like this and actually knows how to have a healthy relationship. It takes a while for it to sink in that I actually managed to find one of the exceptions. Maybe no good women no better than to even try to pull their games on me so only a good decent woman tried to make a relationship work with me. I know that I need to stop measuring my wife based on other woman because she has nothing to do with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted September 15, 2007 Share Posted September 15, 2007 That being said I truly have lucked out and met a woman that is nothing like this and actually knows how to have a healthy relationship. I know that I need to stop measuring my wife based on other woman because she has nothing to do with them. I find it difficult to fathom how one can have a "healthy" relationship with someone who has an unhealthy view of their entire gender in general. Yes you do and no she doesn't. However, she is a woman. Caveat emptor! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 15, 2007 Author Share Posted September 15, 2007 If you were a younger man in the dating scene you would understand exactly where I am coming from. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted September 15, 2007 Share Posted September 15, 2007 No I wouldn't. I was young once. I dated. It had its ups-and-downs. But never did I impute the behavior of one to all. That's what I see you doing and that's what I also see as horribly unfair and limiting, not to mention foolish. Perhaps this iS a case of "with age comes wisdom," even though I seemed to gain it over 40 years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 15, 2007 Author Share Posted September 15, 2007 No I wouldn't. I was young once. I dated. It had its ups-and-downs. But never did I impute the behavior of one to all. That's what I see you doing and that's what I also see as horribly unfair and limiting, not to mention foolish. Perhaps this iS a case of "with age comes wisdom," even though I seemed to gain it over 40 years ago. Things have changed a whole lot since you were my age. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted September 15, 2007 Share Posted September 15, 2007 It hasn't been that long since I last dated (1996) and human nature hasn't changed much since the dawn of man. Nice try. No cigar. You can't lay your stinkin' thinkin' on the times we live in. It's yours and yours alonher own it or shut the hell up about women. Maybe it's just something about you that attracts the "bad" ones. Then again, maybe they just leave when they really get to know the real you. Link to post Share on other sites
corky Posted September 15, 2007 Share Posted September 15, 2007 This doesn't make sense. Why would you punish your wife for the problems of others??? If you think that way, you will NEVER be happy with ANY ONE PERSON on this entire planet!!! Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted September 15, 2007 Share Posted September 15, 2007 I find it difficult to fathom how one can have a "healthy" relationship with someone who has an unhealthy view of their entire gender in general. I think that's the idea that many of us would like to grasp if possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted September 15, 2007 Share Posted September 15, 2007 I never say rotten things about her personally but I am very afraid that she will follow the predictable pattern of women who love their husbands at first only to turn on them and resent the hell out of them for no good reason. I have seen it happen time and time again and I have seen very few marriages where the woman didn't turn on her husband. When I see what other man go through it scares me to the core. Woggle, you can't do anything about it if your wife is cheating, or were to cheat on you. You know the signs if she were to cheat on you, you're not seeing any signs are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted September 15, 2007 Share Posted September 15, 2007 I thought I could trust her when we first married but everything I see around points to the fact that women will eventually change on you and I don't see how she is any exception. Then, if you can't trust your wife, you better get to marriage counseling! You've still got issues from your last marriage! Get them resolved, or your marriage will end! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 15, 2007 Author Share Posted September 15, 2007 It hasn't been that long since I last dated (1996) and human nature hasn't changed much since the dawn of man. Nice try. No cigar. You can't lay your stinkin' thinkin' on the times we live in. It's yours and yours alonher own it or shut the hell up about women. Maybe it's just something about you that attracts the "bad" ones. Then again, maybe they just leave when they really get to know the real you. Just look at the divorce rayes and look at the infidelity rates and you will realize that a guy needs to be careful. I am sorry but it is true. At least I am seeing that my wife is not the same as most other woman and should not be treated the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted September 15, 2007 Share Posted September 15, 2007 If you want to remain paranoid about what happens in other relationships and obsessed, don't let me stop you and by all means, don't take any of the many suggestions you've received here that you get some therapy. You have an absolute right to your illness. However, if and when your wife ever opens her eyes and leaves you in the dust, please don't come here to whine. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 From what I read, and your posts in general, I think you got real issues with women.... LOL..you are probably one of the ones he has issues with and why he feels the way he does about women...and with good reason...not about women in general, but why he feels the way he does based on things said..especially from ones like you Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 ok, first off.... in my opinion... there's always a reason why a married person will cheat Not always...some people cheat no matter if their marriage is good or not. Some people cheat because they can't handle being with the same person for too long...some ppl are just plain fickle Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 ...especially from ones like you ...considering the venue, I think you need to change your handle to bAsh! Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 ...considering the venue, I think you need to change your handle to bAsh! Well its the truth. Women like her are the reason he has a bad outlook on the female population. He should just be smart enough to know that not all women are like Lizzie. Link to post Share on other sites
katiebour Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 I understand that Woggle has issues and that he's dealt with some awful women in his time. I guess, personally, it's just insulting to be lumped together with those same women and branded as 'a worthless gender' (I paraphrase) who are on the whole so self-centered and consumed with a feeling of entitlement that they stomp on the feelings and emotions of others. For all of us here who are working hard to make a good life, be a better person, please our mates and treat the rest of humanity with kindness and consideration, it is a slap in the face to be consistently called "cheaters," "liars," "self-centered," "gold-digging," or all of the other epithets that get tossed our way. Those rude, cold, self-centered, cruel people are just that- people. They are not a gender. They come in both male and female persuasions, and break the hearts of everyone they are involved with. It is these people, Woggle- and I stress here, gender-neutral people against whom you can righteously lay your anger and vehemence. Lay it at the feet of the men and women who have crushed the rest of us under their heel and walked unfeelingly away. If someone lumped you into a large group and labeled it "uncaring," "cheating," "lying," etc., you would be incensed (and rightfully so) to be included in that group. That is, of course, why the feminists anger you so- they are throwing in the good with the bad and condemning the whole. And that, Woggle, is exactly what you do when you lump all women together as bad. And the way you feel when feminists condemn men is the same way all the women here on LoveShack feel when you condemn women as a whole. Your language and insinuation that we are all bad people simply because we are not men is hurtful. You would not walk up to a complete stranger and insult/degrade them- please do not continue to do the same to all of the wonderful women here with whom you are not personally acquainted and cannot make an honest judgement as to the quality of their character. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 17, 2007 Author Share Posted September 17, 2007 I am very proud of myself. I saw a guy getting chewed out at the supermarket by his wife and I started getting all those anti-woman feelings. I managed to talk myself out of it before I got home and was distant with my wife. Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 I am very proud of myself. I saw a guy getting chewed out at the supermarket by his wife and I started getting all those anti-woman feelings. I managed to talk myself out of it before I got home and was distant with my wife. If you mean that you were able to go home without that situation playing on your relationship, I am very proud, too! Every step is a big one, Woggle. You took a big step today! Link to post Share on other sites
Great Gazoo Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 I don't know woggle but I think I should start paying attention to what you say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 17, 2007 Author Share Posted September 17, 2007 At first I didn't feel like going home to my wife but then I started feeling glad that I don't have to deal with that crap. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 At first I didn't feel like going home to my wife but then I started feeling glad that I don't have to deal with that crap. And therapy will help you all the more! Then again, maybe not. To benefit from it you first have to acknowledge the need. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts