stop seeing a "good" guy because of the wrong one?

[JCD]

PP, she had no business of dating you when she wasn't over her ex. Anyone that does this is using the other person for selfish reasons. Now, if she dated you and then rejected you because as she found more about you she realized you're not her ideal, then I respect that and she has the right to rejection like you do. So, if she used you then you have the right to tell her what she did was wrong.

[Woggle]

Women don't want a man that will control but they do want a man strong enough to stick up for himself even if it is on a subconcious level. Women in general are not attracted to weak who let a woman walk all over them. Nearly every single happy marriage and relationship I have seen involves a strong alphamale.

[annabelle75]

Women don't want a man that will control but they do want a man strong enough to stick up for himself even if it is on a subconcious level. Women in general are not attracted to weak who let a woman walk all over them. Nearly every single happy marriage and relationship I have seen involves a strong alphamale.

 

Well maybe its happy for the male.

 

A woman wants a man that can take care of himself and make decisions for himself. That is what it means to have a backbone. Being domineering and controling is something else entirely.

 

Relationships have to be 50/50 parthership in order to work. My father is a pastor and marriage counselor and he would tell you the same thing. One partner cannot dominate the other and expect the relationship to work in the long term.

 

You need to be free to have your own opinions and make your own choices but your W also needs to be able to do the same. It shouldn't be a power struggle.

[Woggle]

Well maybe its happy for the male.

 

A woman wants a man that can take care of himself and make decisions for himself. That is what it means to have a backbone. Being domineering and controling is something else entirely.

 

Relationships have to be 50/50 parthership in order to work. My father is a pastor and marriage counselor and he would tell you the same thing. One partner cannot dominate the other and expect the relationship to work in the long term.

 

You need to be free to have your own opinions and make your own choices but your W also needs to be able to do the same. It shouldn't be a power struggle.

 

These are the onl;y marriage I know where the woman doesn't whine and complain about every minute detail.

[Curmudgeon]

DANG! Guess I am too! When I thought of dating and possible marriage I wanted someone who was my educational, professional, intellectual and spiritual equal. That would make her a full partner.

 

Marriage is not made up of two halves who come together to make a whole. It's made up of two wholes who join together and enhance one another. That requires equality and mutuality.

[Curmudgeon]

Please define "alphamale," Woggle. Is it a chest-thumping, knuckle-dragging primate whose greatest daily challenge is walking upright? Is that what makes it "alpha?"

[Woggle]

Please define "alphamale," Woggle. Is it a chest-thumping, knuckle-dragging primate whose greatest daily challenge is walking upright? Is that what makes it "alpha?"

 

No a man who has respect for himself and doesn't hand his balls over to a woman.

[a4a]

Interesting how the wimp man only hands his balls over to women...... I see wimpy men hand their balls over to other men as well.

 

I guess it is not okay to be a alphafemale..... it works for the wolf pack.

[Woggle]

Interesting how the wimp man only hands his balls over to women...... I see wimpy men hand their balls over to other men as well.

 

I guess it is not okay to be a alphafemale..... it works for the wolf pack.

 

Very true but I won't even try to get into the dynamics of gay male relationships. I see men taking from women that they would never take from another man

 

It is perfectly okay to be an alphafemale but they are usually not attracted to betamales.

[a4a]

Your right a alphafemale will want a alphamale - just like the wolf.

 

and not talking gay relationships - men hand their balls over to their bosses, friends, and male family members as well.

[Woggle]

Your right a alphafemale will want a alphamale - just like the wolf.

 

and not talking gay relationships - men hand their balls over to their bosses, friends, and male family members as well.

 

Very true but it is somehow different in a romantic relationships. Women let themselves get walked over by other women as well.

[a4a]

Very true but it is somehow different in a romantic relationships. Women let themselves get walked over by other women as well.

 

Yes but it is people that hand their ovaries and balls over to other people...... I do this at work if it serves in the long run or has a better outcome in the long run for me.

 

I consider it part of negotiations - I don't care if the party is male or female.

 

As long as it serves my purpose.

[a4a]

But let me see if I got this right then - It is ok to hand your balls over to a man, boss, father, brother, male friend, or male - but never a female.

 

Interesting if that is how you think?

[Woggle]

But let me see if I got this right then - It is ok to hand your balls over to a man, boss, father, brother, male friend, or male - but never a female.

 

Interesting if that is how you think?

 

I never said that it is okay but this is a board dedicated mainly to relationship issues so that is what I address. I work with the business community on the Jersey Shore and I always tell small business owners to know their rights and not let big business walk all over them. If this were a business board I would be talking about this issue but since it is a relationship board I address the issue of men letting walk all over them which is a major problem in modern relationships.

[a4a]

I never said that it is okay but this is a board dedicated mainly to relationship issues so that is what I address. I work with the business community on the Jersey Shore and I always tell small business owners to know their rights and not let big business walk all over them. If this were a business board I would be talking about this issue but since it is a relationship board I address the issue of men letting walk all over them which is a major problem in modern relationships.

 

Oh don't try that -

 

This board also involves family friends and work relationships.

nice try though to skirt the question.

 

Likely you are willing to hand your balls over to another man. (not in a teabag gay way)

[Darkzen]

The "nice guy" will get walked all over by most females. It's not necessarily a confidence issue either. I'm a "nice guy" and am confident to the point of arrogance. Didn't stop my ex GF of 9 years from lying, cheating and being emotionally selfish. "Nice guys" are caring and loyal, which is a weakness that some women exploit. "Bad boys" are exciting and hard to control, hence the reason women are attracted to them... most younger women are all about that. Most women past the partying stage of their life are looking for the "nice guy".

 

The problem is very few remain, because they got burned and/or overlooked, when they were younger by girls that wanted the "bad boys" types. It's a vicious cycle TBH. The so-called "nice guys" aren't very nice after they hit their mid to late 20's.

 

Besides, losers are losers. Doesn't matter if they play WoW or beat their GFs, no need to lump all losers into the "nice guy" stereotype. I play semi-pro football, lift weights and do mixed martial arts... but I'm also deep into philosophy, enjoy reading, like watching movies and play video games. Hell, I'm going to school for 3D animation, can't get too much nerdier than that. Did I mention that I used to be an infantryman in the US Army too. A "nice guy" isn't necessarily a middle-aged, nerdy slob that plays video games.

[Woggle]

I must admit that sometimes men make the same mistakes. I tend to have unusual taste in women so I am not attracted to what most men are attratced to but most men tend to go after Pamela Anderson types who may look good but have nothing to offer above that. Men need to start looking beyond a nice body and a smile and actually look for some substance.

[Darkzen]

I must admit that sometimes men make the same mistakes. I tend to have unusual taste in women so I am not attracted to what most men are attratced to but most men tend to go after Pamela Anderson types who may look good but have nothing to offer above that. Men need to start looking beyond a nice body and a smile and actually look for some substance.

 

It's a two way street for sure. The primary difference is that women have the power of choice in relationships for the most part. Men have to take what's available to them pretty much. Other than that, yes both sex's make horrible decisions when younger... choosing thrill and/or excitement over caring and/or loyalty.

[Woggle]

It's a two way street for sure. The primary difference is that women have the power of choice in relationships for the most part. Men have to take what's available to them pretty much. Other than that, yes both sex's make horrible decisions when younger... choosing thrill and/or excitement over caring and/or loyalty.

 

It is not as cut and dry as you make it seem. I actually have an easy time getting dates but I passed up plenty of bimbos for an older woman because the older woman actually had something deeper than just looks. The blonde bimbo types never did much for me.

[halfarock]

Alpha male is the new way of thinking for those guys that have a hard time getting and understanding women. The idea is that bad boys/alpha males get the girls and nice guys/beta males get used and abused by women. Thus, to get girls, the guy just has to act like he is an alpha – mostly the guy perceived to be most leader-like in the group.

 

So you get these guys working out, talking in a lower voice, acting tough, driving loud vehicles, being obnoxious in the hopes that women will go, “Oh, there’s a manly man, I’m so happy now come impregnate me.” (Or however else the rule of the jungle is supposed to work) Alpha males don’t take crap from women and that’s the way women like it.

 

So, peace_pipe, a nice guy/beta male got dumped because the girl was still up in a tither over her ex, a bad boy/alpha male. If peace-pipe had been more of a man, more alpha, he would have gotten the girl. Instead, he is the frustrated chump/nice guy/beta male. Then peace_pipe, in a last ditch effort to save his manhood, rants and rails; calls up the girl and gives her the what for. Yet this only goes to further demonstrate that he is not alpha. An alpha would have been in control of his emotions. Thus all the women on LS see his beta-ness and attack him accordingly.

 

What seems to be missed is that while the alpha wannabes are fighting for dominance, the woman is busy flirting with that cute guy over there with the sweetest smile.

[JCD]

I don't care if it's an alpha or beta female, just get me one that acts her age and is emotionally mature and serious about a relationship. One that isn't going to get bored then exit when real life strikes her.

[serial muse]

Then peace_pipe, in a last ditch effort to save his manhood, rants and rails; calls up the girl and gives her the what for. Yet this only goes to further demonstrate that he is not alpha. An alpha would have been in control of his emotions. Thus all the women on LS see his beta-ness and attack him accordingly.

 

This is a good point - I can't imagine our own alphamale bothering to call up a woman and chew her out. He'd just move on.

 

:laugh:

[Kamille]

This is a good point - I can't imagine our own alphamale bothering to call up a woman and chew her out. He'd just move on.

 

:laugh:

 

I miss alpha!

 

Halfarock, what you say makes a lot of sense. The alphamale concept seems like the pendant to the "men love bitches" theory circulating for women.

 

For me both are geared towards people who fear they won't find anyone so much that they are at risk of 'losing' themselves in the process. They're the people who want unconditionnal instantaneous love, instead of seeing love as something that two humans build together over time.

[GoodOnPaper]

Peace_pipe shows classic "Nice Guy Syndrome" symptoms -- the rage, expecting everything to conform to his ideals, acting "good" in order to get something in return, black-and-white generalizations about things, etc. It'd take too long to go into more details, but it's clear he needs women to fill some emotional void, and that's exactly what drives them away.

 

As a fellow NGS sufferer, I can say that one of the worst things that could happen to him would be to run into a woman that wants a long-term relationship with him before he has addressed his emotional issues. When you are single, you can extensively overhaul yourself and have a world of possibilities is open to you. It's a much different matter when you realize after 15 years, you have passively chosen a marriage and children that you don't necessarily want.

[bish]

I started dating a girl and we were hot & heavy for a few weeks. I was actually very excited about her.

 

Yesterday she dropped the ex-bomb on me. She dumped him, because it "wasn't going anywhere". But she heard he was moving on and realized she still has feelings for him.

 

So she consciously decides to stop being romantic with me because of some guy it didn't work out with.

 

Seems like sabotage to me.

 

This is what I get from it:

 

"I don't want to pursue something that could be great, because I am still attached to something that wasn't."

 

Now I don't know about you, but ex or not - I know a great gal when I see one. What I am saying is that I don't care how heartbroken I am, I would never turn away a great gal because of an ex! It makes no sense to me at all.

 

So why would a woman want remove a potential great guy from her life? Do women not want a meaningful relationship? Isn't that what everyone wants regardless of past romances?

 

For me there is no better way to get over a bad romance than to find something better and new.

 

Freaking women..... go figure... delicate little flowers

 

Ah man..dont worry about it. let her be some other guy's problem and vice-versa.

 

Women like that will get what they deserve in the end.

 

So you just conentrate on finding the good ones out there and pay no mind to little miss imagonna-screw-a-jerk.