roxxi Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 One of my best guy friends is 37 and has been divorced for 5 months as of today the 10th. We've only known each other for 8 months and there's always been chemistry between and lately things have heated up. We've been talking almost everyday for months now and I started thinking that maybe he's getting over his divorce and could be ready to take our relationship to a higher level. We talked Friday night and everything was fine. He was telling me about his first triathlon the next morning, asking about my friends and family and I wished him luck and said I want to hear all about it. The next afternoon, I called him and it went straight to vmail so I hung up. I called back a couple hours later and after getting his vmail again & left a brief message saying hi and that I hope his race went well and to let me know how it went because he was competing in some tough weather conditions and I just wanted to make sure that he came out ok. No response so I sent him a text the next morning saying that I wasn't sure if he got my message but I hope all is well. I get a response to that 12 hours later saying "Was asleep when u called." I guess I'm a little frustrated because it's not the first time he disappears like that and then once I do hear from him I feel like an idiot for worrying so much... Maybe I'm overreacting but should I ask about it? Maybe it has something to do with his divorce? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 it may be too soon for him to feel emotionally connected to someone. also - he was most likely exhausted from his prior day. probably a combination of both. but i would back off until he makes a strong effort to see you. even if he does - lay low... Link to post Share on other sites
Author roxxi Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 it may be too soon for him to feel emotionally connected to someone. also - he was most likely exhausted from his prior day. probably a combination of both. but i would back off until he makes a strong effort to see you. even if he does - lay low... Thanks 2sunny, and you're probably right. It also doesn't help that I'm a big communicator while he is a man of few words so I'm often left in the dark about what he's thinking or feeling. We have plans to meet up this weekend when I'm up around his neighborhood visiting a friend. I guess I'll just keep a low profile and give him a call later this week to see if plans are still on. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 You're pushing way to hard to take it too the next level! The man just went throug a freaking divorce and his first triathlon! Give me a freaking break! Do you have any freaking idea what it takes to prepare for one of those! Just the mental, and emotional dedication alone! His mental and emotional dedication alone probally cost him his marriage! When you're going for something like that, it saps you mentally, emotoinally, spiritually, physically! Go and do yourself what he's done, practice for six months to a year ~ and then get back with me on your emotions! You've got yourself a "Sprartian" they're few and far between! When women find one? They don't know what to do with them! But they lust and want one! And then they're not happy because they are one! Because they don't sit around and watch "Lifetime" eat cookie dough and chocolate chip ice cream! Link to post Share on other sites
Author roxxi Posted September 11, 2007 Author Share Posted September 11, 2007 Whoa Gunny! BUT I do get what you're trying to say. The problem isn't with him, it's me. I'm the type of person who promptly gets back to people when they call or email me. I'm easily accessible and responsive and when people all of a sudden aren't the same towards me I overanalyze and think I've upset them in some way or done something. He's been through a lot this year and maybe he's moody...I don't know... I feel like I'm still getting to know him even after all these months. And for the record I hate Lifetime and cookie dough You're pushing way to hard to take it too the next level! The man just went throug a freaking divorce and his first triathlon! Give me a freaking break! Do you have any freaking idea what it takes to prepare for one of those! Just the mental, and emotional dedication alone! His mental and emotional dedication alone probally cost him his marriage! When you're going for something like that, it saps you mentally, emotoinally, spiritually, physically! Go and do yourself what he's done, practice for six months to a year ~ and then get back with me on your emotions! You've got yourself a "Sprartian" they're few and far between! When women find one? They don't know what to do with them! But they lust and want one! And then they're not happy because they are one! Because they don't sit around and watch "Lifetime" eat cookie dough and chocolate chip ice cream! Link to post Share on other sites
justfine Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Roxxi... I would venture to say that most people do not want to jump into another serious relationship so soon after a divorce. The ones who do and remarry to soon, end up getting divorced again. The failure rate for second marriages is higher than firsts. What exactly do you mean when you say you want to take your marriage to the next level? Link to post Share on other sites
Author roxxi Posted September 11, 2007 Author Share Posted September 11, 2007 Thanks Justfine. No, not marriage. Marriage is the last thing I want at this point in my life. I know everyone handles divorce differently but I need to keep reminding myself that even though they've been separated since January, it probably IS still too soon and to learn to appreciate the small steps we've taken over the past few months. I guess what I really want is to see him a little more. We talk everyday and have great conversations, but because his job consumes a lot of his time we rarely see each other. I just want more facetime with him and don't know how to ask for that while making sure I'm not asking more than what he can give me at the post-divorce stage he's at. Roxxi... I would venture to say that most people do not want to jump into another serious relationship so soon after a divorce. The ones who do and remarry to soon, end up getting divorced again. The failure rate for second marriages is higher than firsts. What exactly do you mean when you say you want to take your marriage to the next level? Link to post Share on other sites
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