george_scruff Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 I posted a topic on here a few weeks ago about me liking a guy 30yrs older than me. Well, I'm starting to read him. But there's one thing that confuses me. We kind of sit side by side at a desk in our office. When he talks to me, he looks at the space between us but not at me. I look at him always when he's talking to me. When I talk to him, he occassionally glances at me then looks back onto his computer. But when we're out of work, he looks at me a bit more, maybe because he's not distracted. I don't know how to read him like this. IF he does like me, is he too nervous and shy to look at me when he's talking? Or am I looking at this as a miniscule thing? Because I always thought that you can tell if someone is interested in you judging by their eye contact. What does anyone think of my situation? Link to post Share on other sites
ftheunion Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 When I asked this girl out, I didn't look at her eyes at all. I looked kinda to the side of her and looked up at her neck height area. I definitly was looking around and not making eye contact, but i was talking to her and my head faced her the whole time. I can't read body language good at all. Just is too confusing, and has double and tripple meanings/indications. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Many times when someone likes a person they avoid eye contact because they don't want to reveal that they like them. Does he give you any more hints that he likes you such as seeking you out and talking to you, touching you or wanting to be near, saying things like we should go there sometime, etc.....? Link to post Share on other sites
Cad Rake Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Well, George, if you're a guy, I'm going to go out on a limb and say he's not interested, unless you work in the Castro District of San Fran. Otherwise, if you're a young hot girl, I can GUARANTEE he is interested in you and just doesn't want to appear so. Link to post Share on other sites
StaringContest Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 He's not married is he? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Most of the 50 year-old men that I know, have learned how to flirt with their eyes, body language and language in general. Is he feeling a little guilty about being interested in someone 30 years his junior? Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Well, George, if you're a guy, I'm going to go out on a limb and say he's not interested, unless you work in the Castro District of San Fran. Otherwise, if you're a young hot girl, I can GUARANTEE he is interested in you and just doesn't want to appear so. ROFL... Cad.... I was thinking the same thing! Link to post Share on other sites
Author george_scruff Posted September 16, 2007 Author Share Posted September 16, 2007 This link will go into more detail, that i wrote a few weeks ago. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t128452/ But to fill in... I think he does feel guilty, and me too, because i like him as well. Everytime he says goodbye to me in the office, he lightly touches my shoulder. He always honest to me, like when I ask him how's he's feeling, it's never "good", he does into more detail, such as "didn't get much sleep". We've seen each other outside of work 3 times now, and everytime he looks at what i'm wearing the minute he sees me. If we do like each other, who knows who will break the silence first. But 30yrs difference is BIG! Oh, and he divorced 2 yrs ago and... I am female... for the record Link to post Share on other sites
StaringContest Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 Good news is he probably likes you. Bad news is that that big of an age difference usually doesn't work in a relationship. When you turn 21 and want to go to bars, clubs, etc. (which most 21 yr olds do even if they didn't want to before turning 21), I doubt he'll want to come with you. He'd look and feel very out of place. I've seen that kind of thing turn into jealousy, resentment and bitterness with just a 10 year age difference. Also, what about the activities that he likes to do? Would you enjoy those? The second half of the bad news is that you work with him and even share an office. If/when things go bad, your ex will be right in your face every day. Are you prepared to leave your job if it doesn't work out? Link to post Share on other sites
StaringContest Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 Wait sec, I just read that other post better. I only skimmed it before. You went out for drinks at 20? Where do you live? Link to post Share on other sites
Author george_scruff Posted September 17, 2007 Author Share Posted September 17, 2007 We do have a lot in common. Such as cars and sport. We have an interest in anything we both do. Which is what i like. That is another thing i'm thinking through - being at work. I really love my job, and would never give it away. Hopefully we would be happy enough to enjoy each others company at work even if we did split up. I was in a relationship for nearly 2 years and was never in an argument, and now me and my ex are great friends. So, I'm hoping if we do go out, we would be honest and caring. Yeah! We went out for drinks! He bought a few for me. Well, one of his friends joined us as well. So, it wasn't as if we were alone. But I like the company of older people (I seem to connect with them more, strangely) as well as people my age. I really think we're both keeping it from each other, afraid of telling the other how they feel. But I don't want to go all out and say "I love you" first up. I don't want him freaking out, just in case he doesn't love me! I'd prefer to "make a move" and see how he responds... such as maybe giving him a massage or touching his hand. I don't know, would that be the way to go? Link to post Share on other sites
StaringContest Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 That is another thing i'm thinking through - being at work. I really love my job, and would never give it away. Hopefully we would be happy enough to enjoy each others company at work even if we did split up.What we hope and what happens in reality usually aren't the same. The reason most people discourage others from work romances is because they've found out first hand had bad it can turn out. I'm willing to bet that every one of them hoped for the best and ignored the nay-sayers. I know I did, but I should have listened. Having to see that person every day makes the breakup 10x harder and can affect your work. Not only that, but when you get in a spat that carries over to the office, it really compromises your professionalism in the eyes of your coworkers and managers. It's not worth the risk if you ask me. I really think we're both keeping it from each other, afraid of telling the other how they feel. But I don't want to go all out and say "I love you" first up. I don't want him freaking out, just in case he doesn't love me! I'd prefer to "make a move" and see how he responds... such as maybe giving him a massage or touching his hand. I don't know, would that be the way to go?I'd really like to give you some advice on how to pursue this, but I don't feel comfortable doing it, since I think you'd be making a big mistake. However, I don't want to rain down a lot of negativity on you, so I'm going to have to see myself away from this thread. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author george_scruff Posted September 17, 2007 Author Share Posted September 17, 2007 Thanks StaringContest, I really appreciate your opinions and advice. I really do see where you're coming from, and you have made me think twice about pursuing him. Cheers:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author george_scruff Posted September 17, 2007 Author Share Posted September 17, 2007 I just cant afford to lose my job. It's what i've always wanted to do, my dream job. You could be saying I would be flirting with it if i went out with this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
StaringContest Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Glad I could be of some help, GS. I know it sucks to not pursue someone you're interested in, but it sucks more to compromise your job, especially a job you love. Take care! Link to post Share on other sites
Cad Rake Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 I'm sure you can control yourself George Link to post Share on other sites
Author george_scruff Posted October 2, 2007 Author Share Posted October 2, 2007 Woh! Last night just answered a question that's been burning on my mind for weeks. We both have been secretly wanting each other, as last night, he seduced me. But I'm still seriously thinking about continuing this. Anyway, just thought I would give everyone an update. Link to post Share on other sites
StaringContest Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 Woh! Last night just answered a question that's been burning on my mind for weeks. We both have been secretly wanting each other, as last night, he seduced me. But I'm still seriously thinking about continuing this. Anyway, just thought I would give everyone an update. I'm not surprised. I'm 100% skeptical that it will, but I hope it works out well for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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