comfy_girl Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Hubby moved out 2 months ago. He got his own apt and said he didnt know what he wanted even telling his landlord he might be getting back with his wife.We went to counseling but he seemed to be slowly shutting down. He told me a week ago after I asked him if he knew what he wanted said he thinks he wants out of the marriage. So we talked a little and then I saw him that night. He kissed me goodbye. I saw him Fri when he came over and had dinner. He kissed me goodbye again. Sat we had breakfast and went shopping and then he went home. Sunday we went to church together and he totally ignored me. Now when I went to his house sun night he was talking to me and kept looking at me.I asked what he was looking at and he just smiled. Everytime I suggest we talk about a divorce he says he doesnt want to talk about it and shuts down. Tonite I am going to his house for dinner. He said something about going to the movies on sat. What should I do/think? I want to ask him about us and see if he wants to try again but I dont want to pressure him. I am also pregnant with our child due in Dec. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Hubby moved out 2 months ago. He got his own apt and said he didnt know what he wanted even telling his landlord he might be getting back with his wife.We went to counseling but he seemed to be slowly shutting down. He told me a week ago after I asked him if he knew what he wanted said he thinks he wants out of the marriage. So we talked a little and then I saw him that night. He kissed me goodbye. I saw him Fri when he came over and had dinner. He kissed me goodbye again. Sat we had breakfast and went shopping and then he went home. Sunday we went to church together and he totally ignored me. Now when I went to his house sun night he was talking to me and kept looking at me.I asked what he was looking at and he just smiled. Everytime I suggest we talk about a divorce he says he doesnt want to talk about it and shuts down. Tonite I am going to his house for dinner. He said something about going to the movies on sat. What should I do/think? I want to ask him about us and see if he wants to try again but I dont want to pressure him. I am also pregnant with our child due in Dec. Hmmm... sounds like he might not want to be a daddy. Link to post Share on other sites
Melovator Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 Hmmm... sounds like he might not want to be a daddy. Sounds like sumdude is right and IMO based on personal experience part of me wishes I had found out while pregnant that my ex was not up to the task of parenthood, it might have saved me a lot of pain. Whatever's going through his head, whatever his issues are he's clearly got to work through them, all I can suggest to you is to concentrate on what's best for you and your baby and always keep that as your priority- he's tripped at the parenthood hurdle but you're in the chute sweetie, you feel that baby move and you know not just that parenthood is coming but that its already here! This is a time when a woman should be cherished- there is no more intimate thing that a woman can do for a man than to carry his child (did I read that on LS?)- Aughhh! comfy-girl I want to form a Future Fathers Posse to go around and beat it into men who are about to become fathers that they need to grow up- they need to accept that they are an adult, that the whole world will no longer revolve entirely around them- children don't choose to be born, its up to the adults in their lives to make the best possible choices for them. Maybe that should be a Prenatal Parents Posse... there are plenty of examples on LS about mothers who act like children too. I wish you all the best- hopefully Lady Jane will swing by with something more concrete. Link to post Share on other sites
ookla_2 Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 Comfy_girl... I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I know everything is a mess right now, and your hormones aren't helping the matter any. Think about this though - if he moved back in....in the long run, are you really going to be able to let go of the fact that he left you while you were pregnant with HIS child? That would be an awfully hard thing to move past. I'm not trying to sway you either way - just want to give you something to think about... Best of luck to you. Keep posting! Link to post Share on other sites
Author comfy_girl Posted September 12, 2007 Author Share Posted September 12, 2007 well we already have a 16 month old together. So the parenting is not new. And he has a 12 year old from his first marraige. So when I was there last night he was singing some song about being my baby and I am like who are you talking about and he is like probably you. THis guy is killing me with going back and forth. His daughter doesnt want us together and has made that clear, She has done some pretty nasty stuff to get us too fight. Im just lost... I want our family back togther. Link to post Share on other sites
kobegirl Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 you should think that he doesnt want to face responsibility . He doesnt want to commit to anything because that would make him responsible. I would say not to go out with him anymore ! no movies , nothing ... dont even tell him that if he moves back in you guys can do things together again . just pretty much let go of him . the courts will take care of the child support .. pregnancy and children make women vulnerable to this kind of bad treatment. we tolerate it as women because we want whats best for the child and such . ask yourself if you werent having a baby would you tolerate this from this guy ? probobly not .. by the way he broke his mariage vows already anyway .,. for better or for worse right? well he moved out . that says alot. you can do it on your own . you dont need him at all . and you cant make him do something he doesnt want to do . i would say move on , meaning just keep the married status unless it changes , and just let him be .. untill he comes to you and says he wants to work it out. if you seperate it will be easier on you and your child if you do it before the child gets to know his or her father. just talking from experience. like the saying goes , if you love them , set them free.. if they come back they love you . if they dont they never did. Link to post Share on other sites
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