steffany Posted April 9, 2003 Share Posted April 9, 2003 Okay how do you go about asking someone for money they owe you? I lent a friend $400 about 6 months ago because he was going to find himself on the streets. Well and he promised when the thing with his grandad's lawyers went through he'd pay me. (His grandad died and left him some money) Well he lives pay check from pay check and is always broke but I have found myself struggling with no gas, no food, and no laundry money the last month or so. I want him to start paying me some how but don't want to be cruel about it. I really need the money and I know he doesn't have any. But I'm sure he can find some way of at least getting me $10 a week. How do I go about getting the money with out sounding rude (like a bill collector) or loosing a friend? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 9, 2003 Share Posted April 9, 2003 There's no other way than to tell him of your current need and of your desire that he start making payments. If he doesn't pay you back, keep him as a friend. He gave you a good deal. You got the same lesson that cost me $56,000 a few years ago. Seems you got quite a discount. NEVER loan a friend money. GIVE them money you can afford to do without, let them thank you, and then just forget it. If you really expect your money back, you will lose 98 percent of all the friends you ever loan money to. From my experience, after you ask this friend to please start paying you back in some fashion...you'll not ever see or hear from him again and he'll spend ten times what you loaned him to avoid contact with you. Don't be mad at me...it's just the way it happens. I guess it's a human thing...who knows? If a guy is so broke he needs $400 to keep himself off the streets, it's not likely he's going to have money to pay you back for some time. That part about having an inheritance coming is one of the oldest lines in the book. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted April 9, 2003 Share Posted April 9, 2003 sweetly tell him that you understand that his finances are tight right now, but you need to be repaid and are willing to take a small repayment from him each pay period. Or if he is in a position to let you barter, work out a plan to do that -- you get to use his washer and dryer for laundry for the time being, or he puts X amount of gas in your car every so often. Sometimes it's much easier for someone to share what they've got as a form of repayment than it is to actually cough up the money they borrowed. Link to post Share on other sites
Paul8 Posted April 9, 2003 Share Posted April 9, 2003 There is the possibility that if you keep this person as a friend you will be asked for an additional loan at some point and time. You must be able to say "NO". I agree with other posts whereby you exchange use of the washing and drying machines for payment. How about an allotment for food each week? If he says he can not afford $10, ask how much is spent on cigarettes week or how much is spent on coffee. Link to post Share on other sites
Author steffany Posted April 9, 2003 Author Share Posted April 9, 2003 Ya'll are right. I called him and told him the situation so he is going to design some tattoos for my brother and his fiance and my brother is going to pay me instead of him that will pay me some back. He said he can do what he can when he can and he feels really embarrassed about not being able to do so yet. I told him I helped him when he was having a hard time so now he needs to do the same for me. Guess I'll find out how big of an axs I was for lending it. Link to post Share on other sites
Paul8 Posted April 10, 2003 Share Posted April 10, 2003 As mentioned above, it was a hard lesson but one that only cost you $400, which is rather cheap considering. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted April 10, 2003 Share Posted April 10, 2003 on the bright side, at least he didn't call you a b•tch for wanting your money back! Link to post Share on other sites
Author steffany Posted April 10, 2003 Author Share Posted April 10, 2003 He called again today. He is an ex of mine. Dated exclusive for a year and only shared 1 intamate experience no no I mean sexual we had countless intamate moments. He is still very much in love with me he says and was never all about sex because of respect and some other crap. And has agreed to pay me $50 a month until he is payed in full. He is very upset that I let this stew inside of me until it became a big problem. He doesn't want to ruin our friendship...but I told him he knows he borrowed the money from me and I shouldn't have to ask for it back...hence the word borrowed and loaned! It is required I get it back. I lent it and it's his job to make an effert to pay it back. Anyways I didn't get into it with him...I'm just glad I'm getting my money back! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 10, 2003 Share Posted April 10, 2003 YOU WRITE: "And has agreed to pay me $50 a month until he is payed in full." I think the friendship is over anyway. How could you like somebody who induced you into loaning him money by giving you a BS line about money coming from his grandfather? Dead people normally don't make payments to their survivors...unless the money's in a trust. Link to post Share on other sites
Author steffany Posted April 10, 2003 Author Share Posted April 10, 2003 Our friendship is not that strong or great. Trust me. I broke up with him for a reason. I am nice and polite to him. He dates a girl that is friends with my best friend so we see eachother every weekend and I am always courtious. Doesn't mean I like him. That is not the case. He is a friend of a friend as far as I am concerned. But he still likes me. Doesn't matter though it is flattering. And he wasn't left money exactly. And it wasn't HIM. His grandfather passed away and left his house to his father. The house costs too much for his father to afford. So they said they planned on selling it and when they did he would repay me. Now I am not completely stupid I made him take me out to eat with him and his father so I could ask if this was truely the case. His father said it definantly was and that he would give his son the money if he had it to give. All in all my bleeding heart got the best of me again! Damn it Jim! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts