Is it possible?

[davewantsherback]

Back in April I met this girl online. I went on to find out that she lived in my hometown. We talked back and forth, IMing, and hours on the phone for a couple weeks. Now she is at Western Illinois University, and I am at Northern Illinois University which is 180 miles apart. However, during the summer we would just be 3 miles apart. So, anyway, two weeks into our talking, she said she wanted to meet me. As totally mesmerized by our connection that I was, I said I would drive down to see her. She even said I could sleep on her extra bed.

 

Well, the weekend of April 14th, I went down to meet her. We connected just as good as we did online and on the phone. The chemistry was great, it kinda started fast as we ended up kissing and cuddling in front of a movie we were watching that very night, and she ended up sleeping next to me. Taking things slow, which I normally do, just didn't feel right this time around. I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she nearly cut me off with a yes in mid-sentence! I went down there again and again the following weekends until school ended. When we were home, we were together almost every day, and we would have such fun times. Right at the beginning of summer we admitted to each other that we were totally in love!

 

We did so much together, and it was great. Movies, the zoo, theme parks, many romantic dinners, and hours upon hours of cuddling. Back in July, we had a brief scare after she missed two periods. She is on the pill, but they aren't always effective as we all know. I was with her every step of the way, and I was going to respect her decision, whatever it was, if she happened to be pregnant. I secretly hoped she was, despite my total lack of financial readiness for such a thing. I just would be ecstatically happy and terrified at the same time. But she wasn't pregnant. Our loving relationship continued, and it seemed to be stronger than ever.

 

During Labor Day weekend though, she started acting different. School had started back up the previous week, and she explained she was back home mainly to see the family. And I understood that, but we still managed to get together for a couple hours. But it suddenly was different. She started acting distant, a feeling I know all too well from my past relationships. I knew what was coming next. I confronted her about it, and she said she just started feeling weird all of a sudden. She said she didn't feel the same any more. She had fallen out of love with me, just like that! I didn't see it coming until it was too late. We are trying to stay great friends, but I don't how I will react once another guy comes along. I am so afraid of losing her to someone else.

 

I will do anything to be with this girl. I wanted to possibly propose to her this Christmas. She is beyond special to me, she is my world. I have told her this before, but it isn't helping my situation now. If anyone has any advice how I can possibly salvage my relationship without being deceptive and tricking her into loving me again, I would be very happy.

 

Wanting her back forever,

 

Dave

[bestadvisor]

She had fallen out of love with me, just like that! I didn't see it coming until it was too late. We are trying to stay great friends, but I don't how I will react once another guy comes along. I am so afraid of losing her to someone else.

 

Once another guy comes along? Are you sure that hasn't happened already and that it was the cause of the break up?

[davewantsherback]

No, there's no other guy yet. That I'm sure of. She's never lied to me, and I've never lied to her. If there was another guy, she would have told me, or risk betraying my trust. No, there is no other guy.

[davewantsherback]

I guess I will try the no contact and see what happens for now. We likely won't see each other until the holidays when we are back in the hometown.

[Travis L]

I guess I will try the no contact and see what happens for now. We likely won't see each other until the holidays when we are back in the hometown.

 

Maybe it is just me but it seems like it was just too much too soon... 8 months in (as of this coming christmas) and you were going to propose to her... I know when thinking about that you just felt like everything was perfect and all... It takes a while to really get to know someone and you're both in college. Who knows if it is too late or not... BUT, if it is too late for this relationship, take note that when you move so quickly, one or both tend to want to back off...

 

NC (no contacting and refusing contact) is not meant to win her back, it's meant to heal... If you are truly looking to reconcile, give her space... Maybe you need to take some time off from talking to one another to give each of you perspective. I don't know but sounds like she knows that you two will hardly see each other during the school year and she wants to have fun while in college...

 

Tough situation as you won't see her until the holidays... Get out there and meet women... Have fun, you're only in college once (for most)... I know its not what you want to hear but you need to get busy having fun. Not a whole lot you can do about it until the holidays..

[NPursuitofPeace]

My husband said something relevant one day that I hope to convey to my boys when they reach dating age and that is, "chase the money not the women." In other words pursue your dreams and aspirations and the women (preferably of quality) will follow.

 

In this day in age, I would encourage any twenty-something to first accomplish his career goals and then work on family/personal life. Now of course sometimes along the way you meet someone so irresistable that you can and will adjust your life for them. But, from what you are saying here the young lady got cold feet.

 

Now in my thirties, I have come across a couple of those guys who got cold-feet and now seek me out wondering what I am doing now. Of course they are too late because I am married now. And they can eat their hearts out knowing that they walked away from a good thing (I am an attorney now!)