So I had enough :)

[CaliGuy]

I am guilty of looking at my x's webpage and myspace stuff ALL THE TIME. Not just once or twice a week. We are talking 5 to 6 times a day. He broke up with me. Sometimes I wish he would make it easy on me and make his myspace private. Instead he has chosen to disappear and not post on his personal webpage (his art) or update and/or log onto his myspace. That's fine. He probably knows I am looking and he knows I am hurt. By ignoring me, I am getting the message.

 

In my case, she's the one who dumped me, yet she's "keeping tabs" on me.

 

I try and put myself in CG x's position. Even if I were the one that broke up, it would still hurt to be told to stay away from his webpage. Sheez. I still have feelings/curosity in knowing what a few of my x's are up to.

 

But see at this point, I don't care if it hurts her to be told to stay off or not. Her feelings are moot at this point. She made this decision, she has to live with it.

 

I believe I suggested getting rid of the tracker before and I still think that's a good idea. Then CG won't know who is looking at his page. If you don't know, then you can't be bothered by it.

 

It's not a tracker, it's just the raw web logs. Again, I wasn't looking for her hits, I was merely setting up blocks to bandwidth leechers.

 

That to me, seems like the easiest way out of this. If you block her ips from work and home, she will know you did that.

 

To block her IP after I've asked her to stop would be paramount to me saying "I'm not over you." That isn't the point I am trying to get across. I've said what needs to be said.

 

Public webspaces and myspace of all things (not that CG has a myspace account) and anything but private.

 

I do have a myspace page but you need to be a friend to see anything.

 

Just because she said she didn't want to marry you does not mean she didn't have feelings for you. Just because she is engaged still doesn't mean that she doesn't care about you and want to know what is going on in your life.

 

If you read her reply you'd see that she doesn't care.

 

The best revenge is living well.

 

Agreed. And when she read that I was doing well, she started poking around even more.

 

Think whatever you want about her - she's obsessing, she's stalking, whatever. I don't think that by looking at and asking about you she is still wanting to be part of your life. Has she approached you? Has she initiated any contact with you? Those would be signs that she wants to be part of your life. Looking and not doing anything other than looking at a public site, while I admit it is obsessive (and I will admit I am too), is not doing you any harm.

 

I have a constant reminder that she is poking around in my life. It's necessarily causing me direct harm. It's just an annoyance I don't want to have to deal with.

 

Remove the tracker.

 

It's not a tracker, it's raw web logs provided to any web site owner.

[KenzieAbsolutely]

 

To block her IP after I've asked her to stop would be paramount to me saying "I'm not over you."

 

how so, exactly? if you don't mind, please explain why you think this. i'm not picking on you, i'm just curious because to me, it sends the exact opposite message.

 

you ask someone to do something, they don't comply (and don't have to) so then you can take other measures to stop it...but you don't.

 

asking her to stop and then not doing anything about it shows her you still want her to see what you're up to--even if that isn't your intention. she can now think 'well he asked me to stop, but it's my right to look if i want, so i will...and he's not stopping me so i guess he likes the attention i am giving him...he's soooo not over me."

 

asking her to stop, and then really doing something about it when she doesn't, would be more of a slap in the face (or wake-up call, if you want to be nicer! ha) that you are over her, if you in fact are.

 

for example (i know, different people, different situations, but still, hear me out) but my fiance's ex used to call all the time in the beginning of our relationship, for every reason under the sun. he asked her repeatedly to stop calling; he didn't want to talk to her, but he also didn't want to have to change his number, give the new number to all his contacts, etc. but guess what? as long as she knew his number, shekept calling, despite his telling her "i don't want anything to do with you, do not call me anymore."

 

you know how he stopped her? he got a new number. know why? because he truly wanted nothing to do with her and realized if he wanted her to stop contacting him, he had to take charge and stop expecting the impossible. i wish we could have seen her face when she got the "this number is no longer in service" message.

 

 

 

 

has anything happened with this at all?