Can I Get Her Back?

[chocolate_boy]

Ok so the situation is, I was with my girl for two years, we were university sweethearts, practically the most "in love" couple at Uni, all our friends would make fun, it really was as if it was in the "honeymoon" period for the whole 2 years, I loved her so much she was my entire world for a long time, we got engaged, said we were soulmates, planned to move in together.

 

Then when we left uni we started to go through a rough patch, she got very depressed cos she went from dead-end job to dead-end job, and she started to become very clingy and possesive towards me as I pretty much was the only thing in her life. It got really bad for 2 months, she was yelling at me and putting guilt trips on me not to go out with my friends and wanting me to stay with her every night, I work in the evenings and have my dream job as a radio dj on weekends, and she then even tried to pursuade me to give this up saying we weren't spending enough time together and if we couldn't then we "may as well break up".

 

I tried to talk to her and explain how upset she was making me, and even eventually asked for space which she refused to give me saying if I needed space I can't love her very much, this then left me with two options, live like a prisoner or leave her, I left her. Around this time I had started looking at other girls and had fallen for another girl who I worked with who seemed like everything my girlfriend wasn't at the moment, relaxed, outgoing, and fun.

 

I hooked up with this new girl and for two months my ex begged and called me all the time begging me back, I didn't get back with her and we drifted apart a bit. She explained that she had made a massive mistake and had tried to keep me close to her cos she was so insecure about losing me and saying how she hated herself and would regret pushing me away forever.

 

I was sensitive and didn't tell her about me and the new girl, and tried to protect her feelings. Me and new girl went out for a couple of months and me and my ex started hanging out again a bit in February and became quite close again, she seemed like the girl I was at uni with and loved for 2 years before the rough patch. Obviously my new girl was just a rebound as my feelings suddenly phased out and I fell back in love with my ex, we slept together and kissed, but she had also started seeing a new guy, although she cheated on him with me. We had a few fun nights out and went to a big city for a night out on Feb 23rd, she told me she had fallen for me again, we had amazing sex and I told her i loved her and wanted her back.. but I had applied for a job far away and she needed to think if she could handle a long-distance relationship... so we said we'd wait and see what happened.

 

I found out I didnt get the job and asked her back 2 weeks later, she thought about it for 2 days and wouldnt give me an answer, then when pushed on it she said no! I begged her back, basically turned into what she was doing over xmas, I now realise I can't live without her love, she was everything to me, I didn't make a mistake breaking up with her cos it had to be done to stop it getting worse and to stop her taking me for granted. Although she's being dating this new guy for around 7 weeks now and suddenly she's telling me she's in love with him and they've booked a vacation together leaving in a week!!

 

On Friday just gone she was drunk and called me saying she still loved me, but had fallen out with her new boyfriend, basically he can't take his drink and they have had several big arguments everytime he gets drunk, which is bad for a 6 week old relationship, I saw her on Fri night out in a club with him and they were arguing and she kept coming over to me, I told her to go away cos it was awkward. Then on Sat night I saw her again, they argued again and she was v upset, I wanted to go and punch her new boyfriend for making her so upset but tried to stay out of it... then he stormed off home and I looked after her and told her he was an a**h*** and asked why she wouldnt give me another chance, she said she couldn't explain why really and that when she's with me she feels in love with me but has really fallen for this other guy and wants to make it work.

 

Next day she called me and threw it all back in my face for trying to help her telling me not to put her boyfriend down and she was annoyed, I told her to go to hell and we didnt speak for a couple of days. Then I called her and asked to meet on thurs to talk, I wanted to tell her a few things about our relationship, exactly what was special about it to me and why i love her so much, but she just replied to a text message saying maybe we can meet, then later she sent me another saying no. This was on Tuesday, she said there was no point it wouldn't solve anything. Since then I've sent her about 10 text messages pleading to meet me promising not to stress her or ask her back, but just to have fun and talk. No reply she's been ignoring me for 3 days now, won't answer my calls or anything.

 

Have I got a hope in hell of getting the love of my life back? Is the new guy just a rebound? Little things make me think she is, for example she told me a few weeks ago she didn't find him very attractive (he has facial hair which she always hated, and he's blonde and every other guy she's been with has been dark haired and brown eyed, including me), she also said they struggle for things to talk about as they have little in common, but the vacation will be ok as they will be out dancing and drinking so wont have to talk much!! I'm so worried about her going away thousdands of miles with a guy who is practically a stranger and who gets violent and bad tempered when drunk.

 

K

[Nick]

Ok, to be honest, you don't have a chance. She leads you on, and u fall for it. She is just playing you. It seems to me like she is a huge drama queen, and you didn't give her enough. I would stay the hell away from her because obviously she doesn't want to be a part of your life. Just because you love her doesn't mean she has to love you. Ask her what she really wants. And just give it some time. You will move on and find a girl who really is in love with YOU. You need someone who will stay by your side at all times, in any situation. Honestly, if she cheats on him, she will cheat on you also. I have found that out in my own experiences and it hurts. You don't want someone who will rip your heart out and squash it. There are plenty of other girls in the sea, it just may take some time. You are just feeling the aftermath of a long relationship. Just take some time to think about... "Do i really need this?" If you aren't happy, you won't be happy.

[quankanne]

not to be rude, but reading your post, the whole drama thing made tme thing of being in junior high. You like her, she likes you, she "needs" you, but you realize that she's smothering the relationship; you break up, she wants you back, you date someone else, you fall back in love with her; she's got someone else but is stringing you along .... are you sure you want to put up with this? She'd been your college sweetheart for so long, that it sounds like you two want to keep that sense of security and familiarity rather than face whatever the future brings you, and that isn't good because you don't allow yourselves to grow. Just cut her loose and pursue life.

 

If you two were to cross paths several years down the road, and decide to try it again, at least there's a chance the drama will have played out and you could concentrate on making the relationship work. But, from what you've posted, I seriously doubt it -- she needs a man (you, him, someone else) in a very sick and clingy way, and you're just setting yourself up for more drama if you do decide to pursue a relationship with her.

[Ladybug313]

Are you sure it's HER you want back, or the wonderful relationship you used to have? Sometimes it's hard to differentiate.

 

Like the other posts here, I just don't think you guys are in love with eachother anymore. If you were, this complicated nonsense would not be happening. Just move on, and I hope the other parties are not getting too embroiled in any of this. I would hate to be in their shoes.

 

sorry to sound so harsh. good luck.

[chocolate_boy]

Thanks for all your advice guys, I still miss rachel (her name) like crazy. I can't explain the way I feel about her even now 5 months after I broke up with her, I have always put her hapinness before mine (apart from when I broke up with her obviously). I can't stop thinking about her all the time, almost to the point of obsession.

 

Thing is she only stopped chasing me and asking me back when I started to come around and say yes, then she changed her mind... women.

 

I truly believe she is my soulmate though, despite everything, if I do decide I really want her back what would be the best way. I was thinking one of two things, either back off and wait and see if she misses me (which I keep trying but end up calling or texting her everyday still, anything more than a day seems an eternity) or try now to befriend her and pretend I'm over her and subtly try and do things we did when we were together to bring her feelings back, cos she's been making excuses not to hang around with me for the last 5 weeks now, the last time she spent more than a few hours with me she fell for me again, almost like she knows she will want me back but doesn't want to feel those things. The fact that she looks longingly at me and tells me she loves me when she is drunk... could that be the truth coming out.

 

I could do with any tips u may have?

[kellyj21]

I completely understand how you feel mate. I still love my ex and she still loves me but she also loves her new girlfriend. I would never ask her to leave her new girl for me - even though i know she would, because its just not the right thing to do.

We split up a year ago and things are more complicated for us than they are for you but the situations still the same.

 

I sit and think about her all the time, and how things could have been different if our problems had been talked about rather than ran away from. And i think about how if we got back together that things would be different etc etc. But there are no guarentees...ever.

 

I would love more than anything for us to get back together but its a different situation when a third party is involved. I dont like my exes new girl either but I'd never plot to split them up by pretending to be over her and trying to change her mind about getting back together. I believe that if you're meant to be together you'll find your way back to each other eventually - this goes for me and you both!

[chocolate_boy]

Thanks for the reply Kelly. I know what you mean, when a 3rd party is involved it makes things very difficult. She is the type of girl who cannot be without a boyfriend, she hasn't been single since she was 14 (she's 22 this year)! I guess I was just arrogant in many ways, presuming that I meant more to her than anyone else.. she used to tell me so often that we weren't "just another boyfriend and girlfriend", hell only 3 months ago she was begging me back saying we were soulmates.

 

It just strikes me as wierd that she's fallen for this new guy so quickly... too quickly, as I said they're off on holiday together this week... with me and her we had a vacation 10 months into our relationship and it was a "big step" I remember her being nervous about it, and the worst thing is I was talking to her on the phone tonight and she's now planning on moving in with this guy in June saying she "loves him so much".

 

She has only been with him for about 6 weeks, which is also strange, she's trying to state to me that she has been with him for 3 months.. she met him about 3 months ago but was still asking me back and didn't get with him til about 6 weeks ago. Funny thing is, when I was with her at first she'd always play it down, she refused to class anytime before we had sex as being together cos we didnt sleep together til about 4 weeks into it and she'd never class that as together time, and for the first month or two she'd always be like "yeah if we're still together" when talking about future events.

 

I still miss her like crazy, but now she's decided this new guy is the love of her life.. which I do find very hurtful, seems she's saying all the stuff she said to me after a 2 year relationship when we were engaged to someone she's known just a couple of months.

[kellyj21]

*tut* It's like a mirror! My ex-girls only been with her new girl for 4mnths and the new girl moved in with her 3wks ago and now theyre buying a car together in a month or two - things we never did. Its not that she loves this person anymore than me its just that the situation is different. And on some level i understand. Im lucky enought to have been able to chat with her about why things are different for her this time. It helps you move on. But it dosent mean that we dont still love each other to death cos we do - its just like that sometimes.

[chocolate_boy]

Thanks for the advice everyone... I am still v confused. I thought I'd make an effort to move on this week, deleted her number from my phone so I couldn't contact her anymore if I wanted to. However last Sunday she called me to ask if she could have a sweater I took off her about a year ago back, she wanted it to take away on her holiday wiv her new boyfriend, I said ok she kept asking when i would be in, I said I'd leave it with my flatmate... she came and got it I was out.

 

So then I get a text off her a few days later that was intended for her boyfriend... which I thought was odd, considering my name starts with a K and his with a D so not like it easy to mix up... so what's that mean, either she did it on purpose to make me jealous or I was on her mind?....

 

Then I get another sms off her this morning on the way to the airport wishing me a happy easter... none of her other friends get messages... she says she's over me... but when I've gotten over someone I don't care to talk to them when I'm on my way on vacation with my new boyfriend... she never did that with her ex when I was with her... she has now decided she's very much in love with this new guy (she's been with for 6 weeks)... but seems to still be trying to keep contact with me....

 

I'm confused as to what she's feeling. Is she really over me? Last time she told me she loved me was 2 weeks ago when she was very drunk and told me she regrets a lot of stuff and misses me... then denied it all the next day when sober...

[scoobs93]

K listen up. There's a few things that you have to seriously think about here.

 

 

YOU SAID: she cheated on him with me.

 

She cheats on him, she'll cheat on you. It's best to avoid a cheater whenever possible, it lays into the trust issue in a relationship.

 

1.

A quote from Reckless:

Girls always look great from behind. When you break up your ex always magically looks better as she's walking away and you often feel a measure of regret, that's why you gotta think hard before you split up because getting back together is a bit like putting an egg back in its shell, may be possible but guaranteed to be messy.

 

 

2.

Dude, you don't want to put yourself back into a situation where you can get hurt again. She's playing mind games with you and if I were you I would quit playing before she drives you crazy.

 

Tip:

But I can understand. Your ex is the best girl in the world and you would do anything to be with her, right? Well if you truly want her back you need to back off and give her some space...it might make her see what an a**h*** this new guy is and how calm, collected, and cool you are. Keep your thoughts together and in the mean time "play it" like she's not coming back. In other words my advice is to try and find someone new because like I said earlier (quote from Reckless)

"getting back together is a bit like putting an egg back in its shell, may be possible but guaranteed to be messy."

 

 

 

Well with whatever you do I wish you the best of luck and I hope you get everthing straightened out....

 

 

Anthony

[chocolate_boy]

Hey Scoobs,

 

Thanks for the advice.

 

Yeah she did cheat on him with me, but she claims this is before they were "officially" together, and we had only been broken up about 2 months... I am aware she never cheated on me, but has with boyfriends previously.

 

I do agree with the "always look better from behind" statement, after I had broken up with her I did feel it was the right thing and did feel down but had a sense of relief. I only really fell for again a couple of months later when we started spending time together... just after our break up she promised me she had changed, and when I did spend time with her she seemed like the fun, affectionate person I fell for in the first place, I then felt secure enough to fall in love with her again completely, only then she goes and decides she's better off with this new guy... bit harsh.

 

You really think she's playing mind games with me right now? Or is she just confused? Is is she over me do you think... I can't decide, why would she want to maintain contact with me if she was over me.. when I've gotten over someone before I've not cared what they're doing or missed them or tried to keep contact as I truly didn't care.

 

We have been through this before, when I first got with her a few years ago she had just finished with an ex, for circumstance I had to move away and she got back with him, but then I found out I was coming back and asked her to be with me, she said no, so I moved on and she got back with her ex and went on vacation, fell in love with him again she said.. then 2 months later when I was completely ignoring her she dumped him and chased me til I got with her....

 

That was when we were both younger and at uni though... it mirrors this very much though. Maybe if I do really want her back I do just do what I did before, back off, let her miss me and see what happens.

 

I fear it could be different as before she was back with her ex and they'd had a bad relationship for about 8 months, this one she's in now is still very new and exciting to her I guess...

[chocolate_boy]

Hi people,

 

Damn I still feel like **** about this. Let me give you an update, last time I saw Rach was that night with all the drama, before she went on vacaton with her new boyfriend. This was about 6 weeks ago now. So we had no contact for about a month, and I thought I was moving on ok... I started seeing someone else casually for the last few weeks (again, I had already tried this once before), and things were going ok.

 

Then out of the blue last Saturday Rach sms me asks if I want to meet up. I didn't reply to it cos thought I was ok and had moved on, then she called me at 2am, but I let it go to voice mail, got a message off her crying saying I promised I'd always be there for her and stuff and asking if I want to meet up soon. Didn't reply again. Next morning get a call off her again, I let it go to voicemail, she apologised for the call saying she was really drunk. I then got an sms shortly after asking why I was ignoring her. I replied and just said "sorry had a mad week, am really busy at moment". So I didn't seem too rude, I was actually on the radio at the time (I'm a radio dj) and she text me back said she was listening to me.

 

Left it another couple of days, and got another sms on Tuesday basically saying:

 

"Well I have tried being friends but obviously you dont want to be. I do think its such a shame. I'm not gonna ask again cos I'm making myself look stupid"

 

So I sent one back saying:

 

"Hi apologies for late reply, I'm a bit confused u didnt seem to want to be my friend last month, you told me it wouldnt acheive anything and will probably be more hassle than its worth, I think I agree with that now. Sorry it just seems like ages ago u were in my life. It's clinging onto the past really."

 

She replied with

 

"I've tried to be your friend for ages, but you came on all heavy last time. I just want to be friends, I do miss u as a friend are you sure you dont want to just meet up? Please xxx"

 

So I did reply and said maybe we could try but it might be a bit wierd, that we should go for a drink maybe.

 

So anyway that was Tuesday night, she replied and said that would be nice. So left it a few days, then last night I was playing at one of the bars in town, and she turns up with her boyfriend, she comes over to say hello and gives me a big hug, then asks me if I'll go over and say hi to her boyfriend as he's in a bad mood cos she wanted to come to the bar where I'm playing, saying she only wants to come there cos I'm there. I said I didnt want to get involved, and she asked if she brought him over to me would I be civil, I said of course.

 

So anyway we chat for a few mins and then she went back to see him, and then comes over 10 mins later saying he's too stubborn, so I said again I didnt want to get involved.

 

She goes back to him, this time there's no longing gazes or anything, but she did call me a nick-name she called me when we were together... hmmn... Bit later she comes back with him he says hi and looks very nervous and sheepish... he's an ugly guy too.. haha at least felt good about that.

 

Shortly after some girl is asking me for a record and asks for a kiss, so knowing my ex was near I said ok... then a few seconds later Rach runs up to me and asks why I did that saying the girl was ugly, and looking shocked, asking why...

 

Anyway I was a bit drunk so asked her if she wanted to go out next weekend to a sea-side resort we went last year. It was one the best days we had in our relationship... its quite a sunny time of year so asked if she wanted to spend some time with me could we go there, she said yes.

 

So that's where it finished, she said she had to go, her new boyfriend was with her, I asked if she was still ok for next weekend, she looked a bit nervous and whispered yes (I'm guessing she didnt tell him what she was doing next weekend).

 

Anyway getting to the point... when I got in last night I felt the same as I did a few months back, missed her like crazy again.. she looked so stunning last night and we had a good laugh when we talked, calling each other nick-names and laughing about jokes we had when we were together... I really have fallen for her again.

 

I got a text off her at 6am today.... didnt reply though.

 

I saw the girl I'm sort of seeing at the moment today but I didn't feel anything for her today, in fact found her company a bit annoying... so what am I to do now...

 

I am still so in love with rach even 7 months after we broke up... I can;t figure out what she wants, if it is only friendship.. if so then why bother? .... Any ideas or advice GREATLY appreciated!

 

I've tried been with 2 other girls now, but no one compares to her still...

[midori]

my goodness what a farce! If one of your mates was in your shoes, you'd be chuckling with disbelief and telling him to get Rachel out of his life for good.

 

She is playing you. She is playing her boyfriend.

 

She sounds like a massively insecure person who has got a lot of things (a LOT of things) to sort out for herself before she'll be a healthy person. Why sign on for a "friendship" with an unhealthy person who uses you to reflect back whatever image of herself she seeks to conjure up at the moment?

 

When she knew you were still in orbit around her, she was cold. When that was no longer a certainty, she sought you out. When she discovered that, in fact, you are not in orbit around her and have started to pull away for real, she started sending signals that she might want you back (jealous of random girls in clubs, forcing her poor bf to interact with you). Good grief. How completely inconsistent, thoughtless and flakey.

 

I don't think she's really over the hurdles of whatever mental state had her in a depression. She might have lingering feelings for you, but until she's got herself in hand those feelings are only going to lead to destructive behavior. Do you really want that in your life?

 

Another point to consider: it sounds like you're doing pretty well for yourself -- dj on the radio, gigs at clubs. Sounds like you'd be considered objectively as a catch, even by people who don't know you personally (and I'm sure those who do think even more highly of you). So you might want to consider if this girl has got ulterior motives for wanting to keep you in her life. Not to be cynical but women are aware of where guys are headed, and a girl who hasn't got her own act together might well want to keep her grip on someone who is accomplished and has a promising career ahead of him.

 

My advice: ignore her as much as possible, and if she puts herself in your face and demands to know what's going on, tell her that a friendship isn't possible. Wish her the best and tell her politely that you would prefer to not hear from her anymore. Change your mobile number if you can, block her email address from your inbox, etc. She sounds like someone who's going to get worse before she gets better. If she gets better.

[scoobs93]

I know what your going through, as I am currently experiencing it myself(not all completely the same, but along the lines)..n e ways it's gunna be hard to find a girl that compares to rach....my advice..try to get hr bak...she's one of a kind.

 

QuOtE:"Anyway getting to the point... when I got in last night I felt the same as I did a few months back, missed her like crazy again.. she looked so stunning last night and we had a good laugh when we talked, calling each other nick-names and laughing about jokes we had when we were together... I really have fallen for her again.

 

I got a text off her at 6am today.... didnt reply though.

 

I saw the girl I'm sort of seeing at the moment today but I didn't feel anything for her today, in fact found her company a bit annoying... so what am I to do now..."

 

 

 

I can understand all of that as I am experiencing the exact same situation. All that I can say is I am gunna try to get my ex back and if you go that route then atleast know you got one supporter.

 

 

Scoobs

[chocolate_boy]

Hi Scoobz, thanks for your words matey. I had decided to maybe try and get her back, otherwise I would maybe regret not at least trying...

 

A few things have happened since. She had still be sms me asking if I want to meet, I agreed to meet on Thurs evening for a drink, however Wed night was a big night out in town, as all the students were leaving for the summer, so lots of my friends were out. I decided that I'd go out to a club after I'd finished work (I was playing at a bar). I get a TXT off my friend telling me he's just seen my ex waiting outside to get in and she was very drunk...

 

Anyway with this in mind, I go down to the club, and sure enough as soon as I go in I see her friends and her, I went straight up to her friend and hugged her and was chatting to her friends with my back to rach as she had been walking behind them, then she tapped my shoulder, so turned around gave her hug and then walked away saying needed to find my friends.

 

Bit later in night she came and found me and asked if I was ignoring her, I said not and said I would buy her a drink. So me and her went to bar got some shots and stood chatting for a while... about 30 mins actually.

 

This is where things got interesting, we started holding hands and stuff and dancing, then as we were chatting she told me she loved me, and then quickly corrected herself, like "oh I love you... err, no I don't.. i mean as a friend... oh but it feels so natural saying that to you... it'd does holding hands too, it probably even would kissing you"... at this point I was temped to move in for one, but played it safe and just gave her a peck on the lips but this did happen a few more times and they grew into longer kisses.. still not enough for her to class it as cheating on her boyfriend I think.

 

Then a few other things happened, she was walking around with me all night, and as I knew a fair few people there (esp a lot of girls since I DJ hehe) I was saying hi and chatting to them, and she was looking really jealous.. I'm not just saying this either, my flatmate who was also out with us agreed.

 

Later on I left her to go and find my other friends and left her with my flatmate who she was talking to, she said that there was still lots of chemistry between us and she didnt know what she felt for me, it was confusing... then she said she wasn't over me and she probably never completely will be.. but she does love her new boyfriend so much.

 

So end of the night comes, we all walk home together, about 5 of my friends and rachel, we are gonna drop rach off first, but all the way back she is being like a limpet to me, holding my hand in my pocket, telling me how nice I am, and asking me over and over to meet her tommorow night. I was a bit uncomfortable as my friends all know we're not together so I tried to let go of her hand a few times and chat to my friends and move away from her, but she kept following me and holding back on. I said goodnight, didn't kiss her goodbye, just took her to her door and gave her a quick hug.

 

So I did meet up with her on Thurs night (she called me at lunch time to make sure)... however she was quite different again, this time she had made sure she had to be home in 2 hours to meet her boyfriend, she was smsing him and calling him every 20 mins as he was jealous she was meeting me... I played cool about this and asked her why she was meeting me if it bothers him... she didnt really know, just said she wanted to. When I went to hug her when we first met up she was stiff as a board, kept her arms by her side and sort of tensed up. We went for a walk but she wouldnt link my arm or anything, I tried on one occasion but she quickly let go... I even asked what the prob was she just said she was so worried she would see her boyfriend or his friends.

 

We had a fun evening together, went to two bars we went to when we together a lot, she was talking about our relationship a lot... reminicing about good times... asking me again why I broke up with her... to which I replied I had been too hasty and wish I'd given our relationship a proper chance... she was quite shocked at this.

 

Then we got onto her new boyfriend, I did ask how it compared to us... in the way that when we broke up she wrote me letters saying no-one would ever compare to me etc. She told me I was her first real love (depite being with two guys before me, one for 3 years and another for 2) but she does love her new boyfriend equally as much if not more than me... she sees him as a life partner, and hopes they will become engaged and move in together in the next year.

 

Now they have only been together since start of March, but she is already basing her future around him. She was telling me she's desperately unhappy with her life, with everything apart from him... and she wishes she was leaving the town we live in (like I am planning to at the end of the summer) and had a better job... so yeah her depression is still there....

 

She said it would have been so good if we were together she could move away with me and it would do her so much good... sort of tounge in cheek I replied "well you still could, that would be amazing".. she told me she couldn't cos of her new boyfriend,but if she wasnt with him she definitely would... I told her she can't base her future around someone she's only known since February... she got a bit angry at me and said she's not, she's just so in love with him she couldn't imagine her life without him now, and couldn;t imagine being with me cos she'd miss him too much.

 

So now thats about it... I took her home, sms her saying thanks for a great night, she's a v special person to me and i hope we're always friends. She replied and said we would be and thanks for nice night.

 

So the questions...

 

* She had made it clear (for whatever reasons) that there was still something there on Wed night... but she was drunk then... was this just alcohol talking?

 

* She did seem quite on the defensive on Thurs night, calling boyfriend and smsing him all night... she felt guilty? Why is this, is it cos she cares about him so much, or cos she cares about me and feels guilty?

 

* She is still meeting me even though he doesn't like it.. she got annoyed at him and told him he'd have to live with our friendship... however when I was with her I insisted she cut all ties with her ex which she did instantly. Apparently her new boyfriend cried over me and her talking last Friday when she came over to me!!

 

* What is the best tactics for me to play now? I did the whole giving her space thing and it did work, she practially begged me to be back in her life and be a friend... now that I've supplicated and am doing this... what now... do I back off again, or do the opposite, try and see her as much as possible.. in other words get back in her life and try and get closer to her again?

 

I know some people don't approve of me and her, but I seriously have tried being with other people and no one does compare to her... I just want to give it one last try.. I do feel sorry for her current boyfriend, I'm not that heartless... but at the end of the day, he's known her about 3 months, I've known her 3 years and we were engaged, a 2 month relationship cannot compare to that no matter what she says... can it?

 

Thanks guys!

 

K

[boca200192]

i read all of your letters and i am going through the exact same thing. the girl wants you back then she doesnt then she does then she doesnt. and just like you, no one compares. she is everything you ever hoped, dreamnt, wished, and prayed for. mine is the same. right now the one i love is going out with this other guy. and i want her so bad and she wants me to, but she likes her boyfriend alot but she says she still loves me. we spent time together she comes over, she flirts and all that good stuff. then i ask her if she wants me back and she says she does, BUT shes afraid and she likes her boyfriend.

Honostly, i say to you, " keep tryin". i know i am. i aint givin up on somethin i've wanted for my whole life. i wont give up if i still love her to death. nothing will stop me from having her. and nothing should stop you. stop beatin around the bush and just tell her straight out what you feel. i know im going to. good luck and keep prayin.

 

 

-Boca

[lost_in_chgo]

Cut her off Boca. Don't let her toy with you.

Lay out your feelings for her and then don't call her again.

Then wait and see.