frannie Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 "she made it obvious in every way that she expected we would be together, and I didn't ever say that wasn't my plans. I just let her go on imagining a future with me. I didn't offer her a future, or talk about being together, but I also didn't clarify what I knew was in her head. I let her believe what I knew she wanted to believe because then I kept getting the positive strokes that I wanted." This is from Treatment's original thread. Basically it looks like the usual MM thing of re-writing history to say it was 'all in her head'... yeah of course it was because you said, forgive me if I assume but since you've said it to everyone else here I'm guessing you said it to your OW too: well, my W doesn't understand me, she talks inappropriately to other men til I think she doesn't care for me, I'm angry, hurt and lost because of her behaviour... Of course your OW was a complete fool to listen to anything falling from your lips, and no doubt plenty will say she 'deserved everything she got' for listening to whatever you peddled her, or 'didn't disabuse her of'... well there you go... what goes around comes around. And you deserve everything that goes with messing around with someone's heart who listened to your bull while you 'let her go on imagining'... bwahhh you think that makes you innocent of messing with her..? Because she's 'a woman who would listen to crap you spout' I'm sorry... 'wrest you from the bosom of your family'... oh no that's not right either... what is it now..? Whatever it is, and whichever way you want to slice it you invited her in and 'allowed' her to believe in your bullsh*t, and now she's messing with your life. And I don't blame her one bit. And since you don't ask what you should do, I'm leaving it at that. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 WWUP always thinks that M must be saved at all costs. Doesn't matter what the H did, the moment he wants to save the M, it's all marrage counseling BS. I guess I just believe that people should be given a second chance. I don't believe that a marriage should be saved at all costs though. I'm sure if you screwed up very badly (like if you were married and cheated on your husband) you would hope he'd give you the chance to make it up to him and try to fix the marriage. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe if you did cheat on your husband, you'd expect him to just kick you out and make custody arrangements with the kids without bothering or hearing anything that you may have to say. Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 WWUP always thinks that M must be saved at all costs. Doesn't matter what the H did, the moment he wants to save the M, it's all marrage counseling BS. I completly agree with Frannie. I have read both threads and there are details in them that don't add up and are not consistent. It's even worse that he is trying to pass off as completly sincere. My guess is that W knew about this board for a while now and he is using it to showcase his dedication to the M:rolleyes: Apprantly he recently said that OW tried to kiss him and he said no, a detail he never mentioned (and I really find that hard to beleive), and it was most certanly written for the benefit of the W. I truly feel sorry for both women involved. Oh well you evidently read further than I have, because I can't bear his 'wasn't me' mentality. Yes, it was you. Though I somehow doubt W will be reading these bits if he's the man I think he might be. Never heard anyone so manipulative and vile post on the entire forum and that's saying something. And I'm not surprised his W treated him as being less intelligent than she is.. he probably is, by what we've read here. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 Never heard anyone so manipulative and vile post on the entire forum and that's saying something. Wow, are we reading the same threads? Geesh...lol. Atleast the guy is being honest and it seems very heartfelt. Anyway, it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks or feels, all that counts is what his wife thinks and feels - And she's chosen to give him another chance due to seeing HER part in the mistakes made in the marriage. Not his choice to have an inappropriate flirtation/ego feed with another woman. Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 "I do love my wife. I was awfully angry at how I was being treated though so @#$%^&* I don't know maybe this whole mess was just a way of getting some revenge. I need to think about that. So much of what I said to the woman was innuendo. For example, when she began asking me where I was I answered that I was at our family cabin, knowing she would believe that I had left my wife. For me the whole thing was like a game. I started to get interested in seeing just how many strings I could pull. Nothing was real at all, especially I guess the fact that what I was doing could damage my wife and marriage." More from his original thread. So you lead on your OW to believe that you had separated from your W... and it was all a lovely game for you... And you still come on an OW forum asking for advice and expect sympathy, it's absolutely laughable. Sorry, but you led this OW a merry dance because you were 'angry' with your W, who you also weren't honest with, couldn't confront because you felt inferior..?? What the devil did you think you were doing..? I can't believe you actually asked people what they thought might happen, and blamed the OW for being 'a b*tch'... hilarious... she's a bitch because YOU told her a pack of lies..? :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 Wow, are we reading the same threads? Geesh...lol. Atleast the guy is being honest and it seems very heartfelt. Anyway, it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks or feels, all that counts is what his wife thinks and feels - And she's chosen to give him another chance due to seeing HER part in the mistakes made in the marriage. Not his choice to have an inappropriate flirtation/ego feed with another woman. Well geesh lol, yes I guess we are reading the same threads. I just went (on your advice) to read his original thread and posted (the one above your post) his words: "knowing she would believe... for me the whole thing was a game" So I guess sheesh, lol yes I would believe this was a manipulative man who dragged the OW into his little web, and who else who knows... but not me. Of course given that the OW was 'an OW' therefore not a human being, she doesn't count, right? But I'll sit here and watch you other suckers being dragged into his bs, because as I said, it's funny to watch. (though not for anyone married to him, of course... ) Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 "I do love my wife. I was awfully angry at how I was being treated though so @#$%^&* I don't know maybe this whole mess was just a way of getting some revenge. I need to think about that." Oh, oh, and wasn't anyone else on that original thread squicked out at his 'she wasn't treating me right so I gone and got me some re-venge' attitude..? I mean, I picked up on his attitude on this thread where it wasn't overtly stated but there it is... it's ALL his W's fault for not treating him right... gosh darn. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 Well geesh lol, yes I guess we are reading the same threads. I just went (on your advice) to read his original thread and posted (the one above your post) his words: "knowing she would believe... for me the whole thing was a game" So I guess sheesh, lol yes I would believe this was a manipulative man who dragged the OW into his little web, and who else who knows... but not me. Of course given that the OW was 'an OW' therefore not a human being, she doesn't count, right? But I'll sit here and watch you other suckers being dragged into his bs, because as I said, it's funny to watch. (though not for anyone married to him, of course... ) It shouldn't be funny, seeing as IWALH is correct...he's like a lot of other MM having affairs: a man who deceives both W and OW. Link to post Share on other sites
BestAdvisor1 Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 One thing that's different about Treatment compare to the other "typical MM who cheat" is that Treatment had no intention of getting into the pants of this OW. He didn't even have a desire to kiss her or hold her hand. He played a "game" with her to feed his ego and had no plan to betray his wife (assuming everything he revealed are true) by giving his true desire or love to this OW. He simply used this OW to boost his self-esteem or something similiar to that and had no feelings or attraction for this OW. If his wife understands that, it might become easier for her to forgive him. Link to post Share on other sites
blowingthetrout Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 One thing that's different about Treatment compare to the other "typical MM who cheat" is that Treatment had no intention of getting into the pants of this OW. He didn't even have a desire to kiss her or hold her hand. He played a "game" with her to feed his ego and had no plan to betray his wife (assuming everything he revealed are true) by giving his true desire or love to this OW. He simply used this OW to boost his self-esteem or something similiar to that and had no feelings or attraction for this OW. If his wife understands that, it might become easier for her to forgive him. you are so in tuned with the 'treatment' honey! AHH!! Oh No!! Can't breathe! Seeing dead friends! it's it's Freddie Mercury! Link to post Share on other sites
upto_here Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 What you folks don't get is that I DID tell her I was sorry. I DID tell her that my wife and I had reconnected and that was where I wanted to focus my energy. obviously..you sorry but i don't think you really mean it...the woman sense you were not telling the truth...the way she shown up meantthat she DID believed you were seperated from your w ..as you said you lied to her ..what a man i may say ..what are you playing at..? clever enough to get her out of your life ? she is angry at you because your lied...i think it should go for a long time..yet ..cause you never had mention how you will solve this problem.... when you see people not go along with you you angry...even the people on this site...i, m not surprise at all why you are in big mess...as when the realrity struck..some people can not take it..like you treatment...no offense!! Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 You don't read well, either, do you? If you bothered to read Treatment's thread you'd know that he didn't sleep with another woman. I get on LS and generally just pick a person and read their posts and stories. I find it much more fascinating than reading a bunch of arguments and like to see how people's opinions and stories have progressed. SilkTricks; today was your LNF lottery. I read a whole lot of your posts (and you can read mine if you wish and comment, I don't give sh*t. if you want to sling some mud by all means be my guest) but I have discovered you are a amazing hypocrite. that's incredibly interesting to me especially in the serious matter of stalking. in this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t82357 You clearly state: "You had no right to park in front of my house to stare/glare at me." However in this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1315494#post1315494 your headline is: "To the OP: I wouldn't get all bent out of shape over the BW driving past your house a few times." Hypocrisy at it's finest! thanks for my morning sh*t read, to bad it isn't in new paper form so I can actually be taking a crap while I read it, well another day perhaps. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 but I have discovered you are a amazing hypocrite. that's incredibly interesting to me especially in the serious matter of stalking. in this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t82357 You clearly state: "You had no right to park in front of my house to stare/glare at me." However in this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1315494#post1315494 your headline is: "To the OP: I wouldn't get all bent out of shape over the BW driving past your house a few times." Hypocrisy at it's finest! . Sorry that you don't see the difference between parking in front of my house for a lengthy period of time and glaring at me (my house btw is on a very narrow very windy country road that goes nowhere, so you have to be actually in my driveway to park in front of my house) and driving past someone's house that lives on a corner and it sounded to me like it was in town. Maybe they sound the same to you. They don't to me. Link to post Share on other sites
KATANYA Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 I just want to go back to the original issue and a comment that I believe was initiated by Lizzie - the exOW really seems to think that she is having some type of influence/affect on you by all the phone calls, etc.....maybe you should answer the call or have your wife answer - if your wife now knows everyting it could be very healing for her and a shock to the ex-OW to have them speak. Let your wife tell her she knows everything and that the both of you do not wish any further contact - get on the other line if need be. Tell the ex-OW that you are changing the phone number and have alerted the police that you feel she may be stalking your neighborhood/house. Tell her you have documented all the times she has been observed around you and that you have spoken to the Police about a restraining order -or the like depending on where you live. (you don't actually have to do this but it may be enough to stop any further contact). I think you should change the number regardless simply for some peace and quiet. It can't be good for your wife to have 10 - 30 reminders every night about this women, she's already dealing with enough. Good Luck with your marriage - I hope it works out for both of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 Yes, everyone is being too hard on Treatment... I do not like what he did AT ALL, but it seems as if he learned his lesson. Who are we to judge? I also admit maybe we are too harsh as far as the OW... she was led on... she does have the right to be angry. If she knew he was married, that would be one thing, but he did lead her to believe they were not together/separated/whatever. Of course she is angry. Say your opinions, just try to do it respectfully. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 I also admit maybe we are too harsh as far as the OW... she was led on... she does have the right to be angry. If she knew he was married, that would be one thing, but he did lead her to believe they were not together/separated/whatever. Of course she is angry. I've been reading these threads with interest But... I don't care WHAT was done or how angry she is, the other woman has no right to be harassing the man and his wife. The incessant phone calls are probably worse on the wife than on the man, anyway. Having gone through harassing phone calls myself, I know they were harder on me than on my husband. He frankly didn't give a **** about the calls, and I'd bet that is true of most men. So why is the OW calling the house? And why start up, what a couple of months after he ended the relationship? That sounds like pretty odd (and worrisome) behavior. Also just because something is repeated often, that doesn't make it true. According to what T wrote, he never told the OW that he was separated but when she asked him where he was he said he was at his family's cabin. I dunno, but if I asked a married friend (and wasn't that what they were somehow supposed to be?) where he was, if he said he was at his family's cabin, I'd kinda assume his family was there too. The fact that HE (T) thinks that from that she assumed he was separated doesn't mean much either. (Unless, of course, he said stuff that he hasn't mentioned, which is possible, but why assume it?) He doesn't sound like a really bad guy to me, just someone who got caught up in the ego boost of having somebody want him. More of a f*cked up guy than a bad guy. Oh yeah, and I agree with KATANYA's post. Some sense needs to be shook into the OW, and both he and his wife getting on the phone at the same time will probably do it. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 One thing that's different about Treatment compare to the other "typical MM who cheat" is that Treatment had no intention of getting into the pants of this OW. He didn't even have a desire to kiss her or hold her hand. He played a "game" with her to feed his ego and had no plan to betray his wife (assuming everything he revealed are true) by giving his true desire or love to this OW. He simply used this OW to boost his self-esteem or something similiar to that and had no feelings or attraction for this OW. If his wife understands that, it might become easier for her to forgive him. you are so in tuned with the 'treatment' honey! AHH!! Oh No!! Can't breathe! Seeing dead friends! it's it's Freddie Mercury! blowingthetrout, I love you. I just can't stop laughing. Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 I've been reading these threads with interest But... I don't care WHAT was done or how angry she is, the other woman has no right to be harassing the man and his wife. The incessant phone calls are probably worse on the wife than on the man, anyway. Don't worry, I completely agree. She needs to stop this ridiculous behavior and move on. I was just saying I understand that she would be upset. I do not condone the behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
blowingthetrout Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 blowingthetrout, I love you. I just can't stop laughing. OB I love you back yummy yummy! God writes the script, sweetie. I just say the lines. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 I also admit maybe we are too harsh as far as the OW... she was led on... she does have the right to be angry. If she knew he was married, that would be one thing, but he did lead her to believe they were not together/separated/whatever. Of course she is angry. Yes, but she doesn't have the right to call him 20 times in day and pound him with emails. To me, that shows unstable and freaky behaviour. It isn't normal to call one person so many times in one day like that, over and over again. And, it doesn't matter HOW pissed off she is, she's freaking out and needs to stop harrassing him and his wife, otherwise she's gonna find a restraining order against her. Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 Yes, but she doesn't have the right to call him 20 times in day and pound him with emails. To me, that shows unstable and freaky behaviour. It isn't normal to call one person so many times in one day like that, over and over again. And, it doesn't matter HOW pissed off she is, she's freaking out and needs to stop harrassing him and his wife, otherwise she's gonna find a restraining order against her. well so what? I think she actually does have the right and if she is aware she can get into trouble and doesn't care, then more power to her Sorry that you don't see the difference between parking in front of my house for a lengthy period of time and glaring at me (my house btw is on a very narrow very windy country road that goes nowhere, so you have to be actually in my driveway to park in front of my house) and driving past someone's house that lives on a corner and it sounded to me like it was in town. Maybe they sound the same to you. They don't to me. well if wasn't for the multitude of times this BS was circling her house I might actually agree with you, however that's not the case now is it? Link to post Share on other sites
StaringContest Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 well so what? I think she actually does have the right and if she is aware she can get into trouble and doesn't care, then more power to her I don't think the law agrees with you. Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 I don't think the law agrees with you. that was kinda my point in a twisted way Link to post Share on other sites
woe_is_me Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 You know what I love - The past few replies are what EXACTLY SO MANY OW complain about when they come here for advice. Each of you have been harsh, rude and angry towards Treatment and hey - He isn't YOUR MM, yet some of you are taking out your own frustrations and hurt on him. Now THAT is what I call double standard. You expect BS's to treat you well, and tell them "I am not your husband's OW, so don't vent your anger at me", yet many replies here can't show this guy the same respect that you all expect from BS's. Sorry whichway, this thread confused me.. at the beginning i thought he hadn't slept with his OW ...then later on i thought he had...then after that i didn't really care.. my bad for not analysing his long drawn out crappy boring posts word for word Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 well so what? I think she actually does have the right and if she is aware she can get into trouble and doesn't care, then more power to her Why do you think she has the right? well if wasn't for the multitude of times this BS was circling her house I might actually agree with you, however that's not the case now is it? three times isn't even a crowd. It certainly isn't a multitude. Link to post Share on other sites
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