loveydovey82 Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 (I'm sorry if there are multiple posts of this, but my computer is going whacko...) Ok so here it goes... I started a new job about 1.5 months ago and I have made a lot of new friends. Yay for me! This is something that I have needed to accomplish after a few years of only having the same few friends. I have also met a guy. This is not something I need right now. My life is busy. I work 30 hours a week and I take 4 Masters Degree level classes. I am not the kind of girl who likes to fall in love. It doesn't fit into my life and therefore I feel that I need to be in complete control of my emotional well being. Hence, no serious relationships unless there is an amazing circumstance…anyway So this guy named "Pat" and I start flirting and going out drinking after work. All is cool. I tell him that I don't really want a bf gf type of relationship and he says ok. I'm 25 and he is closer to 30. He is divorced but for over 5 years and we both, at least I think, have the same stance on relationships. He also has a child from his previous marriage, but it isn't a big deal to me. So we start to see each other on a no label basis. It has been a few weeks of us just chillin (no sex yet) and he goes out of town to party with family. He says that he wants to see me before he leaves so I say ok and we meet for lunch. (I just thought it was a cute gesture.) He gets to his vacation spot and he sends me a text, which I didn't expect, and it says "I miss you." He must have been drunk. Then he proceeds to text me at least twice everyday that he is out of town. One said I "wish you were here.” So I started to think that this is getting out of the realm of FWB. He comes back and says come over I want to see you...still I go over and we don't have sex. (no benefits yet...lol) He tells me that he showed his family my picture and that they all know who I am (b/c of where we work) and that they all think I'm pretty and his brothers are telling him to go for it...blah blah blah... He also asked me if I would go with him next year on the family vacation...so I cold heartedly said, "I don't know if I will know you in a year!" And he and I laughed... So we finally have sex...drunk sex. (yay me!!!) I leave and don't stay to cuddle or anything...not my style. We go out again and we have sober sex (yay me again!!!). This time I noticed something. I have had my fair share of sex and I know all kinds of boys and the way the act in bed. "Pat" acted more like a bf then a FWB. So now I am freaking out. He did things like hold my hand, kiss my shoulders afterwards, play with my hair, and kiss me gently all over my face (bf alert!) So I freak a little and leave. As we are walking to my car he talks about his brothers and his family telling him to settle down (I’m trying to choke back a cry for help along with some vomit chunklettes). So I just laugh it off… My question is...OMG...should I have the FWB talk with him again? I know communication is the best solution but I don’t want to open that can of worms again. Am I over-reacting? Are his actions louder than his words? Have I done enough to let him know where I stand? I don't want to needlessly have that talk again b/c I hate relationship garbage but I will if I have to. Maybe I should just cut the whole relationship off? Give me opinions...thanks… Link to post Share on other sites
ftheunion Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 What the **** are you doing, ****ing with his emotions. YOU didn't have to sleep with him so it is your fault. He can't help but fall for you. Sex is designed to hook two people in, so don't start talking **** about him. See here, in evolution, there is no such thing as just friends with benefits. Lust and love aren't different things. It is all biology trying to pair two people together. If you are mrs. prude and independent, then don't sleep with people and focus on college. You seem like those vixens back in CA. They mess with emotions and are don't have compassion. They are fakes and hipocrits. They are just the kinda poeple that make me glad I moved away from CA (SoCal). Bunch of yankees there. You should get lit up in paintball, that's for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveydovey82 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 You need to get an education. You obviously have no literacy skills in which you can competently render the information you read and apply it to your thought processes. If you read correctly then you would have seen that he agreed to a "no label" basis. My question was if he is progressing past what we agreed to not what you think about my life. You have no room to judge me. I can live my life the way that I want to. I am by no means "prude" and I am not talking **** about him. I like him, so why would I do that? Link to post Share on other sites
IrishCarBomb Posted September 15, 2007 Share Posted September 15, 2007 Just make sure the relationship is centered around the "benefits". He may be clingy... or me may just have wanted to get to know you a little better before sex (some guys are weird that way). If he starts calling "just to talk", or actually getting you in with his friends/family, then he's going towards a boyfriend status, and you should cut all contact with him. Link to post Share on other sites
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