I have breast cancer

[JamesM]

I am sorry to hear about this, LB.

 

We are your friends here on LS, and I am glad that you posted this info and your feelings. You may never know who you have helped...or will help...with your post.

 

Keep us updated. I will be thinking of you.

[Storyrider]

I'm so sorry to hear about your breast cancer LB. I hope the best for you. Will be thinking of you.

[Trimmer]

LB - I'm sitting here with moist eyes. Some of it, I'm sure, is hearing of your preliminary diagnosis, but I think a lot of it is my awe at your attitude and strength.

 

Stay strong when you can, lean on others when you need to (including us, but I'm glad you've got "real people" too ) We'll be here.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Lucrezia, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. But I know you have it in you to overcome and prevail against whatever comes your way.

 

I Today, I go to work - they said I didn't have to come in, but I explained that right now I need to be doing normal routine stuff. So, today - work. This weekend - fun (I am going to see a band I like on Saturday). Monday - my last day of work before taking a leave of absence. Tuesday, my life starts to change. I guess right now, I don't hurt and I'm not suffering any physical consequences so its easy to skate on the edge of denial. After Tuesday, though...

 

It's not denial. It's just living in the present. Which is something most of us need to be doing more often.

 

Any women without insurance who is diagnosed with cancer qualifies, so I guess today or Monday I will be headed out to the dreaded Social Services office to square that away. I can hardly wait. That place is a nightmare. At least its there, though...

 

Think of it as a necessary trouble. It won't be fun, but you just have to be there for some time.

 

 

So... right now I do what I normally do. I work. I help my kid with homework. I hang out with my ex. I spend time with my boyfriend. I feed my LoveShack addiction. I post away like normal. It is keeping me sane right now.

 

And that is actually the attitude to keep, Lucrezia. Keep on going. Do everything just like you would've done otherwise.

 

You're not going to let this take away your willpower or your passion for everything that you do. Like your sig. on LS says - "Whatever is handed to you, hand it back with twice the enthusiasm".

 

Take care.

[frd150]

LB,

 

Sorry Hun. It does put things into perspective.

 

I will pray for you and know thay we are all behind you. Keep that attitude ....you'll beat this.

 

BIG HUG

[marlena]

LB

I'm sorry this had to happen to you but I KNOW you will beat this! You already have judging from your post. I admire your strength of spirit which is definitely an inspiration to all of us here.. as have been your remarkable posts all along. We are all here for you in mind and spirit and will see you through this in both your weaker and stronger moments. And your daughter is a jewel...

[Reckless]

My best friend had breast cancer two years ago... she is perfectly fine now. Same for another friends mother 15 years ago and doing GREAT... read up but don't scare yourself; caught early, breast cancer is something many many women face and survive.

 

Treatment is getting better and better, less intrusive, less radical more effective...

 

Good luck and keep us posted,

 

Reckless

[Trialbyfire]

LB, my ex-H had two female relatives by marriage, who also had breast cancer. Both had to have their breasts removed and haven't had a reoccurence for over a decade(s) now. Research, early detection, treatment and surgery have come a long way!!

 

Chin up. They will find those pesky buggers and zap them.

[coco_milkshake]

Two of my aunts have cancer and they were caught in the early stages. Both had to get chemo and both are doing well. Hang in there. I am sure you will fight this and beat it.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Thanks so much all. It really helps reading this. Today at work was interesting. I work in a bookstore, and I run the newsstand. The first magazine I picked up to shelve: Life Beyond Breast Cancer. I head over to health to shelve some books. Three of them were breast cancer books. I head over to cookbooks to shelve. The first book I picked up: Cooking for Breast Cancer. Its all over the store - everywhere I looked. Of course, breast cancer awareness month is upon us so it makes sense. Its just funny how stuff like that jumps out at you, and you notice it all of a sudden. I felt like Jim Carrey's character seeing the number 23 everywhere. Other than that, the day was blissfully normal. Same old customer chaos, same old routine. There's definitely something to be said for that.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Thanks so much all. It really helps reading this. Today at work was interesting. I work in a bookstore, and I run the newsstand. The first magazine I picked up to shelve: Life Beyond Breast Cancer. I head over to health to shelve some books. Three of them were breast cancer books. I head over to cookbooks to shelve. The first book I picked up: Cooking for Breast Cancer. Its all over the store - everywhere I looked. Of course, breast cancer awareness month is upon us so it makes sense. Its just funny how stuff like that jumps out at you, and you notice it all of a sudden. I felt like Jim Carrey's character seeing the number 23 everywhere. Other than that, the day was blissfully normal. Same old customer chaos, same old routine. There's definitely something to be said for that.

 

Lucrezia..that's funny! I know, it's tragi-comic, almost..but still.

 

This is great, you've retained your sense of humor. Keep it that way. I absolutely admire that quality. Someone I loved and cherished a lot, had the same quality. A fantastic sense of humor, and an indomitable will. That's a deadly combo (pardon the pun).

 

I am sure that once the initial shock wears off, this fact will settle down with you. This is what they mean by "living with" something. You'll live with this, and perfectly normally, too.

 

You're not the kind to sit and despair over it. Yes, it will definitely change certain aspects of your outlook, and your life...but overall, you will take it in your stride. You're a strong one.

[directx]

Good luck sweety!

 

Keep in mind the technology and survival rate is better and better!

People have survived with much less at their disposal.

 

I am going to buy something with the pink ribbon, seriously, and pray for you!

[ookla_2]

Good luck sweety!

 

Keep in mind the technology and survival rate is better and better!

People have survived with much less at their disposal.

 

I am going to buy something with the pink ribbon, seriously, and pray for you!

 

 

Ditto for me, LB!!

[LucreziaBorgia]

Well, I just got off the phone with the doctor's office who were going to do the biopsy on Tuesday. I called and I asked what I needed to do to be prepped for it, and the nurse said that I didn't need to do anything special because it was just going to be a consultation. I was confused - my primary doctor told me that it would be a surgical biopsy done under general anesthesia.

 

When the other doctor got my results, he simply decided to forgo the biopsy based on the results and go directly to surgical consult to discuss what will happen with my breasts. So... its that bad, I guess - that they need to go directly to surgery. He'll do a needle biopsy to confirm, but even then he may just forgo that as well. Now its down to "how do you want to restructure what you have left".

 

Given what my primary told me about the results and how bad they were, I guess I can understand why a surgical biopsy would be basically pointless since its coming out anyway - and probably going to result in a complete masectomy. They already know what it is, and that it needs to be taken out right away. It is pretty big - between the size of a lemon and an orange, so I understand why they would want to skip ahead to surgery. I wasn't looking forward to that on Tuesday anyway. This will buy me a couple of more days to get my paperwork for my leave of absence taken care of, and my medicaid stuff squared away.

 

Again, thanks all. This helps more than you know.

[norajane]

Good luck, sweets! I'm sorry to hear about this, but you're a strong lady and it sounds like you have some great support around you. I'll be thinking about you.

[directx]

You have friends here hon.

Don't forget that.

 

And by posting it here, it helps others as much as you.

[whichwayisup]

Sorry to hear that LB, but you keep that humour and positive attitude going. I know you're gonna have some rough times, but you WILL get through it! Good thoughts only and lots' of positive energy coming your way from me...

[norajane]

Well, I just got off the phone with the doctor's office who were going to do the biopsy on Tuesday. I called and I asked what I needed to do to be prepped for it, and the nurse said that I didn't need to do anything special because it was just going to be a consultation. I was confused - my primary doctor told me that it would be a surgical biopsy done under general anesthesia.

 

When the other doctor got my results, he simply decided to forgo the biopsy based on the results and go directly to surgical consult to discuss what will happen with my breasts. So... its that bad, I guess - that they need to go directly to surgery. He'll do a needle biopsy to confirm, but even then he may just forgo that as well. Now its down to "how do you want to restructure what you have left".

 

Given what my primary told me about the results and how bad they were, I guess I can understand why a surgical biopsy would be basically pointless since its coming out anyway - and probably going to result in a complete masectomy. They already know what it is, and that it needs to be taken out right away. It is pretty big - between the size of a lemon and an orange, so I understand why they would want to skip ahead to surgery. I wasn't looking forward to that on Tuesday anyway. This will buy me a couple of more days to get my paperwork for my leave of absence taken care of, and my medicaid stuff squared away.

 

Again, thanks all. This helps more than you know.

 

I know it will be hard for you, and very scary. I'm sure they'll take very good care of you.

 

Hugs,

nj

[Kasan]

I don't know you, but I admire what you say in your postings. I can't begin to know what you are going through, but I think that it's wonderful that you have the support of your many friends on this forum.

 

I believe that their collective good thoughts will be a source of strength for you.

 

Wishing you the very best, and for a rapid recovery.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Well, I just got off the phone with the doctor's office who were going to do the biopsy on Tuesday. I called and I asked what I needed to do to be prepped for it, and the nurse said that I didn't need to do anything special because it was just going to be a consultation. I was confused - my primary doctor told me that it would be a surgical biopsy done under general anesthesia.

 

When the other doctor got my results, he simply decided to forgo the biopsy based on the results and go directly to surgical consult to discuss what will happen with my breasts. So... its that bad, I guess - that they need to go directly to surgery. He'll do a needle biopsy to confirm, but even then he may just forgo that as well. Now its down to "how do you want to restructure what you have left".

 

Given what my primary told me about the results and how bad they were, I guess I can understand why a surgical biopsy would be basically pointless since its coming out anyway - and probably going to result in a complete masectomy. They already know what it is, and that it needs to be taken out right away. It is pretty big - between the size of a lemon and an orange, so I understand why they would want to skip ahead to surgery. I wasn't looking forward to that on Tuesday anyway. This will buy me a couple of more days to get my paperwork for my leave of absence taken care of, and my medicaid stuff squared away.

 

Again, thanks all. This helps more than you know.

 

Hmmm. That's something.

 

So there's a chance they'll directly go to surgery on Tuesday? Or will they schedule it a little later?

 

Well, I would say sooner is better than later. Just get the damned thing out of your body. I do hope it doesn't come down to a full mastectomy. But even if it does, it will be for the best. Eliminate the cause of the problem, you know.

 

It will be okay, Lucrezia. I can only imagine how difficult it would be for you, and how scary it would really be below the strong exterior. But I know you will take it on, and when you actually go through it, you'll lose the fear.

 

You're already handling it amazingly well. You're one strong lady.

[Trialbyfire]

In some ways, that's good news. The sooner, the better. It will stave off any further expansion of the cancerous cells.

 

It would be awesome if it was day surgery, thus removal of a small portion of the breast versus the full blown surgery. My fingers are crossed for you LB.

 

Stay strong, which you are, and stay positive!! We're here.

[DazedandConfused66]

I registered just to post a reply to your thread. I've been a lurker here for months now for related reasons, maybe I'll get into those some other time.

 

My wife was diagnosed with cancer 13 months ago. Level 3C, which meant that it had gotten into her lymph nodes. Normal diagnosis...she found a lump, they biopsied, proceeded to a lumpectomy with a sentinel node dissection, found that the cancer had spread to 6 of her first 18 lymph nodes they removed past the sentinel node. 6 months of chemo, 3 months of radiation. Lost her hair, one breast, almost all her strength, loss of memory (chemo brain), the normal. Sex drive is remarkably still intact but that's likely because lovemaking takes on an entirely new dimension when you realize your own mortality. She's an amazing woman, I knew this before, but I'm in awe of her now.

 

I'm not going to candy coat things for you. It may turn out that you can get by with just a lumpectomy and survive cancers devastation for the rest of your life. We are hopeful for the same. But as a man who loves a cancer victim with all my heart and soul, I will give you one strong bit of advice.

 

Fight it. It's not a "blessing in disguise," it's not a test from God, it's not a "life trial." Cancer is an Enemy. Dark and destructive, there is nothing good about it, nothing at all. Fight it like hell. Hate it. Despise it. Take every negative emotion you ever have, be it getting stuck in rush hour traffic or finding out that the dog has dug up the newly-planted bushes in the front yard and pour it into purging the Enemy from your body. I don't buy into all this tree-hugging mentality of "living with cancer." Mentally force yourself to live as if you don't have it. Treat it, sure. Get great doctors and an even better support group. PM me if you want some pointers to some out there, there are many great groups. But do not succumb to the beguiling calmness of learning to live with it. You don't want to. You want to beat it. You want to kill it. Save your love and affection for the care and support of your friends and family. There will be days you want to lash out at them you feel so afraid. Lash out at the real Enemy instead.

 

I honestly believe this to be true. 13 months into our treatments and the love I share with my wife is stronger than it's ever been before. This has NOTHING to do with the cancer that invades her body. This has everything to do with our ability to learn to fight a common Enemy together.

 

You have my best wishes for a full recovery. You don't have my sympathy. Sympathy is for those who won't fight. I know you will.

[IpAncA]

I'm sorry to hear about the test results LB. I have a friend and one family member who have gone thru the same thing your going thru. They all are thankfully in remission and they also had quick surgeries.

 

I do hope everything works out for you.

[dropdeadlegs]

I registered just to post a reply to your thread. I've been a lurker here for months now for related reasons, maybe I'll get into those some other time.

 

My wife was diagnosed with cancer 13 months ago. Level 3C, which meant that it had gotten into her lymph nodes. Normal diagnosis...she found a lump, they biopsied, proceeded to a lumpectomy with a sentinel node dissection, found that the cancer had spread to 6 of her first 18 lymph nodes they removed past the sentinel node. 6 months of chemo, 3 months of radiation. Lost her hair, one breast, almost all her strength, loss of memory (chemo brain), the normal. Sex drive is remarkably still intact but that's likely because lovemaking takes on an entirely new dimension when you realize your own mortality. She's an amazing woman, I knew this before, but I'm in awe of her now.

 

I'm not going to candy coat things for you. It may turn out that you can get by with just a lumpectomy and survive cancers devastation for the rest of your life. We are hopeful for the same. But as a man who loves a cancer victim with all my heart and soul, I will give you one strong bit of advice.

 

Fight it. It's not a "blessing in disguise," it's not a test from God, it's not a "life trial." Cancer is an Enemy. Dark and destructive, there is nothing good about it, nothing at all. Fight it like hell. Hate it. Despise it. Take every negative emotion you ever have, be it getting stuck in rush hour traffic or finding out that the dog has dug up the newly-planted bushes in the front yard and pour it into purging the Enemy from your body. I don't buy into all this tree-hugging mentality of "living with cancer." Mentally force yourself to live as if you don't have it. Treat it, sure. Get great doctors and an even better support group. PM me if you want some pointers to some out there, there are many great groups. But do not succumb to the beguiling calmness of learning to live with it. You don't want to. You want to beat it. You want to kill it. Save your love and affection for the care and support of your friends and family. There will be days you want to lash out at them you feel so afraid. Lash out at the real Enemy instead.

 

I honestly believe this to be true. 13 months into our treatments and the love I share with my wife is stronger than it's ever been before. This has NOTHING to do with the cancer that invades her body. This has everything to do with our ability to learn to fight a common Enemy together.

 

You have my best wishes for a full recovery. You don't have my sympathy. Sympathy is for those who won't fight. I know you will.

This post is so honest and beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes.

 

Everyone needs a partner like this when fighting the ENEMY. Bless you. And Bless LB.

[woe_is_me]

LB ..i found this thread around 10 hours ago and i so hope you're okay.. i got a bit of a shock..

 

I went to reply to a thread posted by someone else yesterday but after i posted i realised she was a married ow and not a single ow so i deleted all but one sentence...i felt that what i'd said was moreoreless irrelevant..

What i deleted though did quote something you'd said in one of your recent posts in OM/OW and i wrote that YOUR advice had helped me more than you'd ever know..!

Then.. this morning i saw this thread ..and so wanted you to know anyway that your words of wisdom really and truly opened my eyes and helped me along more than any other posts i ever read....thank you so much for that ..