Finding wads of cash in my SO's car and wallet for the past several months. FISHY??

[corky]

We've been together for 6 years. He has a decent job, but you know how things have been lately with the economy... basically his job has been in trouble for a while. The business is not doing so well. Pardon me, but I'm not willing to say what he does for a living.Anyways, he's been hiding lots of money from me lately for the past few months and who knows how much longer before I found the first stash 3 months ago. I'm talking about thousands at a time in all cash. While he was sleeping, I took his car keys in which his key to his safe is and checked inside and he has the whole the filled up with gold and silver bars. Not only that, but also titles to property and more cash. I'm getting kind of worried and am afraid something illegal is going on. What if I get mixed up in this whole mess and end up dead from some discontented foreign cartel business associate or whatnot?If I even bring up topics about money,he goes into a rage because of some financial problems I got ourselves into four years ago and have since relinquished any stake I had in taking care of the finances. I pretty much conceded that I don't belong handling money. So I don't know how to bring this up and if he hasn't told me yet whats going on, likely he'll lie anyways. So now I have to do some detective work. Oh and we live out in a rural area with our kids. He takes long "car rides" about twice a week and is in the city daily. The last thing I know he has done on the side was sportsbetting so thats the only thing that i can think of he is doing possibly that might be legal. and even if there is a small chance it is legal, why is he hiding it from me? does he really distrust me that much because of what happened four years ago still?

[Leikela]

He's definitely hiding something from you if his regular job doesn't bring in this much cash. Also, a job doesn't give you gold and silver bars. Where does one get such stuff anyway??

 

There is definitely something amiss here. Most likely it is illegal activity. I wouldn't let on though that you suspect anything. Since you've proven your financial "unworthiness", it's best to keep quiet and to try and find out what is going on on your own, like you're doing.

 

Definitely keep on it since there are kids involved. You want to protect them from harm at all costs. Sorry this couldn't be more positive, but from what you say something just isn't right here. Best of luck to you!

[Trialbyfire]

Have you been keeping in shape, meeting every single need, even ones he hasn't told you about and ensuring he's wanting for nothing within your relationship?

 

If not, more than likely he's getting ready or is already cheating or looking to dissolve the relationship.

[melodymatters]

Um... yeah TBF, shall you and Stepford never meet !

 

To the OP, if he has dabbled in legal sports betting, horses or whatever, then perhaps he's moved onto ILLEGAL sport betting meaning being a bookie. Knew lots of those back in NY and that would make sense.

[corky]

Um... yeah TBF, shall you and Stepford never meet !

 

To the OP, if he has dabbled in legal sports betting, horses or whatever, then perhaps he's moved onto ILLEGAL sport betting meaning being a bookie. Knew lots of those back in NY and that would make sense.

 

holy crap, that would be hard to swallow. what are the legal ramifications if true? jail time etc ?

[melodymatters]

holy crap, that would be hard to swallow. what are the legal ramifications if true? jail time etc ?

 

 

It's VERY serious. Does he get a lot of short phone calls ? Especially before big games ? perhaps Have cryptic notes laying about ?

 

Again ( melody hops on her libertarian horse) I think this should be legal : if consenting american adults want to bet on football,let'em, but thats another post !

 

Basically it's usually drugs (selling), sex( selling), or gambling( selling), when people are hiding cash. Hell, is he in trucking ? He could be smuggling cigarettes from one state to another, the list goes on.

 

OR, how IS the relationship ? I have heard that people squirell away nontracable assets if they are planning on taking the exit door.

[corky]

the relationship is great until we have to discuss money matters. basically he doesn't want any of my input or any disputes regarding what he spends our money on because of how irresponsible i was and my mistakes in the past.but if i dont do something and this is illegal, i couldn't possibly fathom him doing jail time. i'll have to do some research to see what's going on. i cant say i've seen anything else suspicious lately so maybe he's just good at hiding. it does sound like he's hoarding strange assets though and the only thing i can think of was 6 months ago when he was talking about opening an account out of the country. but he didnt get into detail and i just brushed it off.

[Bobby NoBrains]

Basically no one keeps so much cash and gold and silver bars in the home unless it's illegal money. Esp since he's been talking abuot an off-shore account, those are used to hide money from illegal sources (meaning non-IRS money, or even something criminal like drugs or worse). It seems your husband has another life that you know nothing about ... Hopefully it will not be a criminal one, but even otherwise he's definitely hiding something.

 

Tread cautiously and don't do anything in a panic. And don't challenge him on this if he is a violent person or prone to fits of anger, etc.. Sorry I can't give better advice, but it's a situation I don't know too much about, but you need to protect yourself and your kids and get out of there if you have that instinctive gut-feeling that something is terribly wrong. Trust your instincts until you are sure that things are otherwise.

 

 

Just my two bits ..

 

Bobby