amber1 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 To ohfudge, I actually lost my viginity at age 27 (I am 28 now). I had made a decision to wait until I was married but it just kind of happened one night with a guy who I really liked but he treated me AWFUL. I really regret giving it up to him but now I can't go back and change it. Just make sure that you give it to someone that you really want to give it to. As for flirting and getting asked out on dates, just be friendly, talkative, laugh, and smile at guys. Don't be afraid to be yourself, but remain approachable. I don't think you will have any problems. Also, like someone else suggested, try online dating. Match.com has some good guys. P.S. Don't listen to your friend who says just to go out and sleep with random men. You might end up hating yourself for it. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 I am not an obsessed individual where I can’t live without a guy; I am content being on my own. I believe if he comes along that is nice if not so be it. This is the best attitude to have and usually when you least expect it, he will come. Ask people and you will often hear this advice repeated because it's true. But friends and family don’t allow you to live this way. It seems very time I get together with family or friends the subject of my personal life has to be part of the conversation. The constant reminder is what really gets me You need to set your boundaries with your family and friends. Although they are worried and concerned for you, they probably do not realize that they are hurting you. You need to mention to them that although you know they are only teasing, the constant teasing is starting to hurt you and you need them to stop. If they love you, they will. Those who dont, you need to cut from your life. You sound like someone who gets teased a lot. I get teased a lot too and someone recently told me that it's because people really like me. However, I also know that sometimes teasing can be hurtful. You need to be able to set the boundaries and tell people what is and isnt acceptable. and to add a female friend of mind is trying to convince me to go out to clubs and just sleep with men to get some practice because guys don’t like inexperienced women. Really, this is just sad and pathetic on your friend's side. If a guy does not like your level of experience, then he's not sexually compatible with you, and you are better off without him. It's not a slight against him nor you. Some people need hot steamy sex and need a partner with lots of experience and do lots of wild stuff. Others, like myself, need a compassionate lover, someone who will go slow and take their time. There ARE lots of guys out there that are compassionate lovers, who will not run from an inexperienced girl. In fact, a lot of these guys prefer to be the partner with more experience. It boosts their own ego! However, there are some guys who will run away from an inexperienced girl. Those guys are usually the ones who are only in it for the sex in the first place, and you are better off knowing they are jerks NOW than later after sleeping with them. Personally, I use my inexperience as a test to weed out the jerks. I have no shame in my experience. It is who I am, and I need someone who accepts that. If they can accept that, and they stick around, then I know they are interested in ME and not the booty. I don’t know how I would react if a guy asked me out though, the only 3 guys who asked me out were friends so I knew them so well. Sounds like you need to broaden your social group. If you are only hanging out with your friends, and not meeting any new people, then your social group is very limited to only those people. Thus, your exposure to being asked out is very limited. It definitely is a numbers game when it comes to dating. It does not happen very often where you will click with a guy, or a guy will click with you, and it's even more rare if it's mutual chemistry where you both click. So do not take it very personal that you are not dating. We get this Hollywood image of the single life with lots of dating every single night with a ton of guys, and I think life is very far from it. At least it's never been like that for me. You need to get a hobby that will get you out and socializing. I would recommend learning to salsa or something else. Check out some of those meetup websites. I wouldnt focus on dating, but more meeting a lot of people, girls and boys, young and old, married and single. The more people you meet, the more you'll learn about different people and learn how fascinating the world is. Everyone has different experiences and opinions and you'll be amazed at how different people view you. Keep close the new friends who boost your ego, and drop the ones who bring you down. Life's too short to be with people who hurt you, when you can be having the best time of your life with people who love and like you! About that rude friend of mine, I spoke to my boss about asking him to stop joking with me (he usual say he just joking) and he stopped for a month or so then he started again. I would tell your boss it's starting again. This guy has a serious problem if he has nothing better to do than to talk about you behind your back. As for the friends who are telling you what he's said, I'd also ask them to stop telling you this. You know he doesnt like you. What else do you need to know? What benefit will you get from knowing every little bad thing he says about you? Your friends are not doing you any service by relaying the messages and I think it might be a little spiteful on their side for doing so. Link to post Share on other sites
bones Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Over the years I've come to learn that men can be very intimidated by confident woman. The catch is, that is one of the qualities they look for in someone with whom they want a sustained relationship. Catch 22! Be a little vulnerable. Share some of your thoughts: ie.e: "I wish I could find a date for this weekend. I really feel like dinner and a movie!" By what you explain, you attract men. They may be gun shy because they don't understand your culture and family values. Even though they may not be much different-- men may not be aware of that fact and fear making a mistake. Is there one male friend you can confide in? Let him know you are looking to date more and ask for feedback on how you come across to men. If you know of someone that you are interested in-- try flirting a bit. When you flirt it let's the person know you are interested in a fun, playful kind of way. There are probably articles on flirting that can help if it is not something you've tried in the past. Keep us posted. I bet you'll find lot's of men clamoring to date you. Link to post Share on other sites
bones Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 KMT: Do you know these people on Loveshack that you refer to as "cold"? BTW: Your posts are difficult to read because they lack proper punctuation and have an awkward sentence structure. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted September 20, 2007 Share Posted September 20, 2007 KMT: Do you know these people on Loveshack that you refer to as "cold"? BTW: Your posts are difficult to read because they lack proper punctuation and have an awkward sentence structure. she said I was stating her very problem and im not the only person to make that decision about her being cold. she doesnt think shes cold, but I say she needs to change something because well results speak for themselves realy. as for my punksituation I enjoy writing like this but would like to avoid reading difficulty that results... cant have that cake and eat it too Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts