more than just friends?

[T - mac]

Ok well first of all let me tell you a little about me. i am from Washington state, but i am currently living in Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco Mexico. i am 15 years old, and am not Mexican, but have lived here in Vallarta from the age of 3-7 and speak fluent Spanish. i am here to stay with my mom for a year and go to school. my last relationship failed miserably when she got drunk and stoned and had a foursome in a van with 3 other people. i on the other hand, am still a virgin, and plan on staying that way until i meet the rite person. not to say that i didn't love her, i could talk to her about anything, and she was always there for me when i had problems with my dad and stuff. but anyways, before i came to Mexico i told myself that i wouldn't get into any relationships because my last one was putting a lot of strain on me and was doing me almost as much harm as it was good.

 

but ive meet a great, beautiful, nice, girl that i have liked ever since the day i met her. and she shows all the signs of liking me. she has been sitting next to me in almost every class since like the third day of knowing me, and when there aren't 2 seats next to each other left, she has practically begged people to move so she can sit next to me. she also is touching me all the time. she is always bumping me with her knees, playing with my hair, and combing it, leaning on me, gently pushing me with both hands, grabbing my wrists and pulling me when she wants me to come with her somewhere, laying her head on my shoulder when she laughs really hard or is sad. sometimes when she comes up to me and talks to me she stands like less than a foot away from me almost to the point where i cant breathe, she laughs at almost all my jokes, she plays with her hair when shes talking to me, she has kind of hinted at things that we could do in the future, like when i said that i don't ever do anything here because there isn't anything to do she said like "wow, we have to do something okay?" she has also asked me about ex girlfriends, and she asked me how many girls i have kissed, and did i like it, and stuff like that. and ever since she met me she has been asking questions about me like crazy, i swear, she knows more about me after 3 weeks than any other person i know hahaha. she told me that that is the way she gets to know people and stuff but i don't know. she also has my MSN and talks to me every day on it, and she just asked me for my cell phone number yesterday. i know it really sounds like she likes me, but there are some things that she does that hint to me anyways, that she wants to just be friends.

 

for instance she has showed me pics of her kissing another guy. and when people ask us if we like each other, she says no, and even though the first time it happened, she was really defensive about it, and said that there was a fine line between friends, and boyfriends and girlfriends, and now when people ask she just says no and is really calm about it and then doesn't feel at all embarrassed or uncomfortable about touching me or talking to me or anything the way she normally does rite after they ask. and i know that she touches me and stuff all the time but it seems like she does that with her other guy friends too, just not as much, and not in the same way. and also, when i leave school she doesn't kiss me on the cheek, she just does a handshake thing, since that is the way people say hello and goodbye here. and for some reason, i just have a horrible feeling that she just wants to be friends.

 

so i guess the 2 main reasons i am writing this, are first, to get your opinion on weather she likes me or not, and second, i know i have my whole life ahead of me to meet many great girls, but I'm afraid that it will be a long time before i ever meet another girl like her, and I'm afraid of what will happen if i tell her that i like her, and she just wants to be friends. will she stop sitting next to me? will she act differently than she did before? and also, i just want some guidance from the older people around here on what to do next.

 

~ thank you ~

[T - mac]

i know im young and all of you people here probably dont care about me but i really need some guidance from you older people who have a lot of experiance with relationships. and i know its long, but please, read and give me some advice, thank you.

[T - mac]

wow, ok i know you people dont really care about me cus im so young but holy ****, yeah its long, but i really dont want to lose this person as a friend and i want to know what will happen if i tell her that i like her, can you just tell me what you think, come on, i know there are a lot of older people here that have a lot of experiences with females. i know you are reading it, because of the view count, now please stop being lazy and just read it, thank you.

[T - mac]

ok well im getting the feeling that im in the wrong place, so i will kindly ask if anyone knows any forums like this that are a bit more friendly towards the younger age group. thank you, and im sorry for disturbing you.

[northguyman]

I think that it sounds like she wants to be more then friends. It is my experience that if a woman might think that the feelings won't be returned then they will give the impression that they have no feelings to they don't lose face towards friends and others.

 

It'll prbally be the best idea to just come out and let her know that you are interested in her. If she is interested in you, you can go from there, and if she truly doesn't feel the same way it sounds like it wouldn't matter and you could still remain friends, and you would know where you stand.

[T - mac]

I think that it sounds like she wants to be more then friends. It is my experience that if a woman might think that the feelings won't be returned then they will give the impression that they have no feelings to they don't lose face towards friends and others.

 

It'll prbally be the best idea to just come out and let her know that you are interested in her. If she is interested in you, you can go from there, and if she truly doesn't feel the same way it sounds like it wouldn't matter and you could still remain friends, and you would know where you stand.

thanks for the advice, well it has been almost a month since i posted this, and we have become very good friends now, and i still havent told her that i like her. we have been going to the mall every weekend since i poted this, but it has been with her sister and another friend of hers, which is a girl. and even though we are really good friends now, it seems like she has kinda lost interest in me. well to tell you the truth, im not sure what she thinks. but maybe your rite, maybe she did like me but just thinks that i dont like her and has given up, so, do you think she has moved on, if she did like me in the first place? or do you think she still likes me? i guess ill tell her after we do something again this weekend that i like her and see what happens tho. thank you.

[norajane]

Why don't you start flirting with her? Look into her eyes and smile, compliment her appearance or if she's done something cool, you start touching her casually, tease her, catch her eye when you're laughing about a shared joke, treat her like a lady - open doors for her, etc.

 

After you've been flirting for a while, ask her out. And at some point during the evening when you're laughing and looking into each other's eyes, hold the gaze, reach over and place your hand on the back of her neck and gently draw her toward you for a kiss. Or kiss her some other way when the moment is right.

 

Then you'll find out how she feels without having to pour your feelings out - which hardly ever works well. If you have to TELL her how you feel, then you aren't flirting and you aren't getting her to see you as a MAN instead of as just a friend.

[T - mac]

thanks for the advice, well we have been going out for a while kind of, but with her sister and another girl, so not really, and it would be kinda hard to get her to go out with me alone. i do flirt with her a little, but would it really be that bad to just tell her the way i feel?

[Cobra_X30]

thanks for the advice, well we have been going out for a while kind of, but with her sister and another girl, so not really, and it would be kinda hard to get her to go out with me alone. i do flirt with her a little, but would it really be that bad to just tell her the way i feel?

 

I think it would be bad to just come out and tell her how you feel!

 

You need to get her to feel the same way 1st!

 

I just turned 28... and I'm from your homestate! I can tell you straight that the quickest way to get a girl to put you in the dreaded "friendzone" is to show too much interest in her!

 

How do you interact with her? Do you compliment her alot? Do you talk about other girls you may like? Does she talk about other guys with you?

[T - mac]

I think it would be bad to just come out and tell her how you feel!

 

You need to get her to feel the same way 1st!

 

I just turned 28... and I'm from your homestate! I can tell you straight that the quickest way to get a girl to put you in the dreaded "friendzone" is to show too much interest in her!

 

How do you interact with her? Do you compliment her alot? Do you talk about other girls you may like? Does she talk about other guys with you?

well, when we had only been friends for about a week or two she was asking me a lot of questions... and i mean a lot, about have u ever kissed some1 lol, and did u like it, and how many girls have you kissed, and did u have a girlfriend in the US. and stuff like that, and my last girlfriend did this too but she also showed me a pic of her kissing another guy, and stuff like that if u know what i mean, and she does grab the hands of other guys or hug them sometimes when im with her, she just does it a lot more with me, she is one of those people who are very flirty, kind of, but she touches a lot. but today she was in a bad mood and it was kind of scaring me cus she wasnt talking to me, and stuff at lunch, but on msn just a while ago she asked me if i was mad at her today because i was depressed too lol, cus of all the homework i have, and i said no and she said well tell the truth and stuff like taht, and feel free to "tell me what you feel" i dont know if thats another big hint hint, or not tho. damn it girls are so confusing lol. anyways, as for me, i dont ever talk about other girls with her, or even say they are pretty, cus she keeps asking me if i think the girl in the picture is pretty, or if i think that girl is pretty and so on. i do complement her and say thank you and stuff, and am very polite to her, but she is one of those people who raelly likes nice people, and hates anyone who is mean, and also, she is a very strong person, if someone is doing something she doesnt like she will let them know lol, so i dont know... i also try not to agree with everything she says. even though i really do tend to agree with a lot of the things she says. anyways lol, sorry if i wrote too much info. but again, thanks for the advice everyone.

[norajane]

cus she keeps asking me if i think the girl in the picture is pretty, or if i think that girl is pretty and so on.

Next time she asks you if you think someone is pretty, look her dead in the eye with a smile and tell her you think SHE is pretty.

 

Same with the kissing. If she asks about kissing, look her in the eye with a smile and tell her you'd like to kiss HER.

 

If she blushes, and gets all flustered, she probably likes you. She may not say anything, like, 'great, kiss me now!', but she'll remember what you said, and she'll think about it. And that's what you want - her thinking about kissing you.

 

She's giving you all these openings to flirt majorly with her, and you aren't taking them!

[T - mac]

Next time she asks you if you think someone is pretty, look her dead in the eye with a smile and tell her you think SHE is pretty.

 

Same with the kissing. If she asks about kissing, look her in the eye with a smile and tell her you'd like to kiss HER.

 

If she blushes, and gets all flustered, she probably likes you. She may not say anything, like, 'great, kiss me now!', but she'll remember what you said, and she'll think about it. And that's what you want - her thinking about kissing you.

 

She's giving you all these openings to flirt majorly with her, and you aren't taking them!

actualy i dont think so, cus usualy when she asks me these things we are iether at school in class, or at the mall with other friends in one case. but ill take what you said into consideration.

[norajane]

actualy i dont think so, cus usualy when she asks me these things we are iether at school in class, or at the mall with other friends in one case. but ill take what you said into consideration.

 

If she can ask you personal questions about kissing and who you think is attractive while at the mall or in class, you can flirt with her.

 

It's JUST FLIRTING. You're not declaring deep everlasting love! Lighten up and have fun! You can flirt ANYWHERE!

 

Just say it with a smile and laugh instead of being all serious about it.

[T - mac]

well we are pretty good friends now and i dont want to ruin anything by scaring her, which i think that might do if i say i want to kiss her or something like that.

[Yamaha]

Fear will get you nowhere. If you are so afraid of rejection that you will just sit there and be her friend ( even if you want more ) then you aren't being true to yourself or her. From your first post I would say she likes you but if you wait to long she will look for someone else that she likes and you will become a friend (or not).

[norajane]

well we are pretty good friends now and i dont want to ruin anything by scaring her, which i think that might do if i say i want to kiss her or something like that.

 

Ok, if you can't flirt about a kiss, then when she asks if you think someone is pretty, you can say, 'not as pretty as you!'

 

That's a compliment and can't possibly scare her away. And it's also flirting. And she'll love it. There is no risk at all in saying that to her.

 

Yamaha is right - if you stay in the friend zone that's where you will end up. She won't see you as a 'guy' - she'll only see you as a friend.

[T - mac]

yeah i think you are both rite, so i will start flirting with her a bit, and as her going and looking for someone else, i dont think she is going to find someone that she would be willing to have a relationship with for a while lol.

 

and btw, some other flirting tips would be nice, cus well, ive always been pretty bad at flirting.

[T - mac]

ok well its saturday now and she hasnt talked to me since yesterday, and i thought she would probably want to do something today, cus we have done something together, but with other friends, who are girls, for the past 4 weeks. and now im really starting to wonder if i should just tell her that i like her, because i cant help thinking that if i dont just tell her, she will give up on me and go for someone else, that is if she likes me too. if this is really a bad idea please tell me, but im not sure what to do rite now, its almost 9 and i havent heard from her all day.

[T - mac]

ok well this is exactly what she said:

 

her: ohhh yeah i like always to tell the truth

her: i like direct people

me: thats good

me: its not good to lie

her: yepp

her: so when ever u feel like it tell me what u feel

her: if something is wrong

her: you hate me jajaj

 

im really not sure if she is hinting at me to tell her that i like her or not, but...

 

its really really been bothering me lately and i feel like i need to tell her before something bad happens. unless i get some post here telling me its a really bad idea, im going to tell her tonight... so please give me some input, thanks.

[norajane]

Since you feel you must say something, why don't you just tell her you'd like to take her out on a date.

 

That pretty much tells her that you like her enough to want to go out with her, without pouring your heart out. Keep it light.

[T - mac]

dont ask why but thats not really an option because shes not really able to say yes, if i asked her it would probably just make her uncomfortable and she wouldnt know what to do... so what i think ill do is just tell her simply that i like her... dont have to pour out my fealings... just tell her i like her. would that be ok?

[Yamaha]

I'm sure she know you like her. Women have a 6th sense about these things. Why is it so important that you tell her? I would just flirt with her, some touches on the shoulder or hand and see if she responds positively. If she backs off or becomes uncomfortable you know she doesn't feel the same and you won't have to be embarrassed by revealing your feelings.

[T - mac]

yeah but the thing is that i dont think she knows i like her... and i suck at flirting lol

[T - mac]

everything has been going great lately, and we are going to do something for my birthday together next week but i still get very strong feelings both ways... sometimes im sure that she has to like me because of the things she says or does and then another minute im sure she doesnt like me as anything more than a really good friend.

 

but next weekend after my birthday i am just going to tell her i like her and ask if she doesnt if we can just stay friends... oh god i hope it works out in the end. but im not sure if i would be able to stay friends with her if i knew she didnt like me.