Women Value Looks As Much As Men

[Road Rage]

I was one of those that for many years believed that men were way out front in in placing value on looks in a relationship. I lived by this illusion for most of my life. I am now over 50.

 

But, from time to time things just didn`t add up to my sterotype. Slowly the fog started to clear and now I believe things are at last clear to me. Women value looks as much as men. It is important guys realize this and why it is so hard to recognize it in women.

 

It is obscured in women because although important, the nature of women is such that in general they will place GREATER importance on other things such as wealth, power, success and other things that assure security.

 

So to put it this way. Men and women value looks equally. Yet with women looks are circumvented from taking precedence because of GREATER importance placed on other things.

 

Another thing that obscures the picture. Men have greater power of persuasion over women than vice versa. That means an unattractive man may persuade a woman into a relationship far more than a woman may persuade a man into a relationship.

 

One more thing obscures things even more. Men have a wider range of acceptable attractiveness in women than women do of men. More men find more women attractive more of the time than women. Yes, women are more picky when it comes to attractiveness. It means less men fit her criterion. Probably just the opposite of what many assume.

 

Therefore a woman is in a greater position to have to compromise because in fact she finds less men attractive than her male counterpart. But to those she does find attractive she is just as "loose" as any man on the planet. As long as she feels she can get away with it. And that brings me to the last point.

 

There is a greater social stigma on the woman who has uncommitted sex. Even in these supposedly liberated times women are still judged harshly for having a wild sex life. Therefore regardless of how bad she wants it, she will still be constrained more by social stigma than a man.

[Trialbyfire]

No one is going to get together with someone they find repulsive. Life isn't like Beauty and the Beast.

 

Btw, I've found men attractive without knowing what they look like, hence my fleeting crushes on LS. Looks are like icing on the cake.

 

As for wealth, power, success and other security items, I know I want a man who's fiscally responsible and able to hold his own in the earning department. I will not support an SO and don't want to be supported by one either. He has to be self-sufficient and want me to be self-sufficient, which I am.

 

As for acting like a rabbit in heat, not my style, whether I can get away with it or not. It's not as if I haven't had enough opportunity to get away with this, during my marriage or other real committed relationships. It's not social stigma. It's the way I'm wired.

[johan]

Here's another revelation for you: women dig sex at least as much as men. Probably more. Just read the threads in the sex forum to see for yourself. Women are the ones who talk about it all the time. Men are more into relationships.

[lonelybird]

Hot sex with a handsome man is meaningless. Women, well most women are wired by intimate emotion connection. If emotional intimate is there, sexual desires is there. wild uncommited sex from man to man will harm women later in a long term sense, this is not some myth, this is how women built, and seldom to do with social pressure. but have many to do with self conscience

 

I think some men value looks more than others, and some women value looks more than others as well. and I think people who can look beyond 'good looks' have a higher spiritual development

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

No one is going to get together with someone they find repulsive. Life isn't like Beauty and the Beast.

 

Btw, I've found men attractive without knowing what they look like, hence my fleeting crushes on LS. Looks are like icing on the cake.

 

As for wealth, power, success and other security items, I know I want a man who's fiscally responsible and able to hold his own in the earning department. I will not support an SO and don't want to be supported by one either. He has to be self-sufficient and want me to be self-sufficient, which I am.

 

As for acting like a rabbit in heat, not my style, whether I can get away with it or not. It's not as if I haven't had enough opportunity to get away with this, during my marriage or other real committed relationships. It's not social stigma. It's the way I'm wired.

 

Good post, TBF. Much like what I was thinking...only, I was thinking more about general situations, and the attraction criteria for men Vs. women.

 

I do like some of the points Road Rage had made. And I actually don't have much to say except for what I've already said to him - that it all depends on individual experiences.

 

We all have different perspectives, depending on what our experiences have been. No one person can say that their perspective or conclusion is the only one that is absolutely correct and valid.

 

Relativity rules.

[Road Rage]

Aww come on Lonelybird hot sex with handsome man gotta have a little value, don`t it:confused:???

[Trialbyfire]

Aww come on Lonelybird hot sex with handsome man gotta have a little value, don`t it:confused:???

Not if he's an arsehole...

[lonelybird]

Aww come on Lonelybird hot sex with handsome man gotta have a little value, don`t it:confused:???

If without emotion connection, it is meaningless

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Aww come on Lonelybird hot sex with handsome man gotta have a little value, don`t it:confused:???

 

 

Hey Lonelybird...I know you won't ever do it, but maybe you should try it once? Hmmm? Once?

 

[lonelybird]

 

Hey Lonelybird...I know you won't ever do it, but maybe you should try it once? Hmmm? Once?

 

what? you are doing devil advocate?

[Road Rage]

Lonelybird

 

See I can never be too sure any time a woman makes this statement about meaningless and no emotion blah, blah, blah. That is what my thread is all about. Just when you think women are what they say they are wham!!! Off they go and in the sack they go:eek:

 

Man, you are left speechless. And then after a gazillion years the fog starts to lift.

[EricOnTheWeb]

Here's another revelation for you: women dig sex at least as much as men. Probably more. Just read the threads in the sex forum to see for yourself. Women are the ones who talk about it all the time. Men are more into relationships.

 

I feel that woman like this "equal oppurtunity for all men image they have goin" right?.... I have lots of money and power and I am a senstive guy...but I look like a retard....ARE YOU GONNA GIVE ME A CHANCE LADIES?

[Yamaha]

I think most men believe that women value looks. It is the criteria that separates you from being a potential bf or a guy friend.

[EricOnTheWeb]

I think most men believe that women value looks. It is the criteria that separates you from being a potential bf or a guy friend.

exactly and is the reason I remain girl's "buddy" and never get a GF...nuff said and Pfft on valuing a man's "other attributes" over looks...gir;s

[lonelybird]

Lonelybird

 

See I can never be too sure any time a woman makes this statement about meaningless and no emotion blah, blah, blah. That is what my thread is all about. Just when you think women are what they say they are wham!!! Off they go and in the sack they go:eek:

 

Man, you are left speechless. And then after a gazillion years the fog starts to lift.

Looks do play a role in it , but not major

 

and spirit should be put even before emotion. just that we are human beings, some can stick around, and some cannot. but I found people who can renew their spirit can continually fall back in love

[Road Rage]

Man, this is a real wogglest thread now that I think about it:lmao::lmao:

[Trialbyfire]

Ick...if looks were the sole criteria for all or even most women, more men would get laid more often...

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

In my books, any time either looks, money, power etc. take on predominance for the reason you are with someone, real "love" takes a backseat.

 

Some factors are important depending on where you are in life, some are "nice to have". But no one factor from the ones mentioned above should be the sole determining factor. Because then, you lose sight of who the other person really is, and what the relationship should really be based on.

 

Money comes and goes - I've experienced that. And looks won't last forever. What you are as a person will remain. And that's the most important factor for me, personally speaking.

 

 

There - I've come full circle with the whole discussion.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Man, this is a real wogglest thread now that I think about it:lmao::lmao:

 

Now you're summoning the devil...

[Road Rage]

TBF

 

Looks are not the sole criteria. They are circumvented by things pertaining to security and status and so on.

 

Again, this is what my thread pertains to. It is generally believed that looks don`t matter much to women. Fact is, they are just as important to women as men. It is just that other factors that women value more than men take precendence.

 

But no man should ever think that a woman will not jump in the sack on looks alone. She will!!!

[lonelybird]

the interesting part that good looks bring will wear out pretty soon, but spiritual connection will last forever

[Trialbyfire]

TBF

 

Looks are not the sole criteria. They are circumvented by things pertaining to security and status and so on.

 

Again, this is what my thread pertains to. It is generally believed that looks don`t matter much to women. Fact is, they are just as important to women as men. It is just that other factors that women value more than men take precendence.

 

But no man should ever think that a woman will not jump in the sack on looks alone. She will!!!

Oh so wrong... Not everyone is willing to do the bunny hop. Case in point myself. I've slept with my ex-H and one LTR. That's it. I've dated some very attractive men and some men you would say WTF? Neither have made me jump in the sack with them. Unless that emotional connection is there and he's proven he's the kind of guy he's purports to be, there's not a hope in hades, he's going to make it to home plate.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

That's a given. No one will take on a relationship - or even a one-night stand - without perceiving some value in the deal.

 

What the value is placed on, differs from person to person. Could be looks, money, status, intelligence, personal attitude, whatever.

 

So saying that "they are circumvented by things pertaining to security and status", is rather moot. Yes, looks do matter. To both men and women. It's just that they may be placed at a higher or lower priority, depending on what factors are important to the individual.

[Road Rage]

Linelybird

 

It is great to have a spiritual connection but really I don`t see people who are like that for the most part.

 

It seems just when you think a couple really have it together they get divorced:eek:

 

Now how many times have we seen this???

[lonelybird]

Linelybird

 

It is great to have a spiritual connection but really I don`t see people who are like that for the most part.

 

It seems just when you think a couple really have it together they get divorced:eek:

 

Now how many times have we seen this???

I know, but that is what we should strive for? and many couples succeed in their marriages, marriage is a process that we grow out of our selfish shell. if we don't let our pride and ego get in the way, things would be eaiser