Doodles Posted April 12, 2003 Share Posted April 12, 2003 Well. First time here. Don't have any friends or family whom I can entrust with this dilemma: When someone tells you about a terrible incident of their past right at the outset of your blooming relationship, and it keeps replaying in your head, what do you do? Simply don't take it personally and move on, right? Well, it would seem so, however my lover hasn't heard any of my sex/drugs/rock 'n' roll stories and is petrified of hearing them. My love is a wonderous creature. Being a genuine person they were at low point when they did a little smack and ****ed a couple of people in one week. Big deal, huh? Well, they are ashamed of it and is no longer dwelling on the guilt of it and doesn't let it bother our love life, but now I find myself thinking about it quite a bit of the time. I compare those persons that my lover had that week to me and wonder if they were more exciting than me even though my lover and I worship each other and are constantly attentive to one another. It would seem all sewn up tight and done with, but I can't get them out of my head and I don't want to drag my past stories of grotesqueness to "even the score" - that would be disasterous. Want more details? Help.. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 12, 2003 Share Posted April 12, 2003 Don't need any more details. I don't think doing a little whatever and screwing a few girls in one week is a big deal at all. But telling you about it at the beginning your relationship is the height of supreme stupidity. I love the way you refer to this person as "they." "They" aren't siamese twins, are "they." If that's the case, you can only get upset with one of them. (lol) Don't tell him anything about your past, keep your mouth shut, and move forward. Knowing that he's just as human as you are should be a big comfort. It'll show you're a lot smarter than he is...DUH! F O R G E T about it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Doodles Posted April 13, 2003 Author Share Posted April 13, 2003 Thank you Tony for your words. I'm glad I'm patient and calm. You made me feel wonderful in that you could commiserate with me on my lover's bad timing but not blame them for it. The plurality of "their" personification is to imply ambiguous behaviour and to ensure anonymity of their so-called "sexuality". I'm freakish. Anyhow, what was I to do before email existed? Go out of town to a bar and divulge to a total stranger? Don't have time... Thanks again. Everyone out there who endures with patience under loving circumstances (and not abusive ones) be encouraged! My lover talked to me last night and told me in complete detail of how I am the incarnation of lovingkindness and that mistakes in the past are attributed to immaturity. We cried a lot. Toodles and best wishes out there! Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 13, 2003 Share Posted April 13, 2003 You said: "We cried a lot" That sounded positive, in your context (right?). I've also read it many times in other posts, also with a positive context. What's with crying, people? Does it make you feel like you're more connected or something? Or just feels like a soap opera? I'd personally be quite disappointed to see a guy cry over something like an r/s problem... might be a cultural diff-ce. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author Doodles Posted April 13, 2003 Author Share Posted April 13, 2003 Now that this storm's over: To be perfectly honest, there's a certain release of oxytosin in tears. Adrenaline seems to be prevalent also. Mine is an imagination that's vast and other related issues surface as I become emotional. Tears are not necessary nor are they evidence of resolution or sorrow for me. It's just a chemical and emotional reaction. Prob cultural too. C Ya. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts