cutiepieb_25 Posted April 13, 2003 Share Posted April 13, 2003 What do you do when a guy is or seems interested in you but then all of a sudden he vanishes? I met this 30 year old guy almost 3 weeks ago, and we hit it off real good. I am 27 (not that it really matters). We were just making small talk at the time, u know to pass time away. So we had been talking for almost 3 weeks. We had planned a date for last weekend (first week of April), but it didn't happen and I don't know the reason why either. He didn't even call me to cancel it. I called his house and his mother told me he had moved out to get a place of his own. But my question is how when he didn't have a steady job or any cash coming in at the time. He called me straight for the whole 3 weeks up until thursday when he was suppose to had called me back later that night and didn't. I know he wanted to cancel the date earlier in the week because he made the comment he didn't want to be sittin up under me broke. My thing is as long as we were together it was fine. Money wasn't a big thing for me basically we were just going out to get to know one another. Ok. When we met we connected just like that. We talked but wasn't trying to get a relationship going just making small talk. We both wanted the same thing in life, we had our priority straight. So I thought we had. He was the first to mention us being in a relationship on the second day of talking. I was like ok. He talked about marriage. I told him yeah one day but not now. Then when I didn't call one day he thought he had scared me off with marriage. I said oh no. Then I told him if he found a woman that wanted too to go for it, but he made the comment no I am going to wait for u. I even suggested him moving from his area to find a better job, but again he suggested no because we just met and he didn't want to leave right now. He wanted us to get to know each other. Then I talked to his mother Tuesday and she said she had not talked to him since sat. and that he was fine because he has the Lord with him. He hasn't call me in a week and that is very unusual for him since we began talking, because I had suggested not calling everyday and he was like I want to hear your voice. So its strange. I believe his parents might have something to do with it. I am not sure I just can't put my finger on why a sudden change. Several people told me to give it time he will eventually call me. If he has the Lord then he should have call by now or something. Am I right? But my question is why did he seem so interested in me wanting a relationship and all and then he goes and does something like this. Can anybody tell me what happened here? Will I ever hear from him again? I know u r not psychics or fortune teller but just give me ur opinion on it. Thanks alot. We both have a birthday coming up soon so I figured if I have not heard anything by then I can surely say its over. I would really appreciate any advice. Link to post Share on other sites
snowandwind Posted April 13, 2003 Share Posted April 13, 2003 is that it is HE that decided not to call you and stayed silent at the moment no matter what made him to do so. If you want to go further with him, you may want to think there must be some good reason he didn't contact you, and give him a second chance for a while. But even while you're doing so, try to calm down yourself and move onto your life. Let time go by and see what the future would hold for you and him. If he reaches you again and you're still interested, then you may renew your relationship with him. Otherwise, forget him and find another one out there which I hope turns out to be a lot better. Remember you just met this guy only three weeks ago and you deserve a good one. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 13, 2003 Share Posted April 13, 2003 Your story doesn't make a whole lot of sense: I met this 30 year old guy almost 3 weeks ago We had planned a date for last weekend (first week of April), but it didn't happen and I don't know the reason why either. He didn't even call me to cancel it. He called me straight for the whole 3 weeks up until thursday He hasn't call me in a week and that is very unusual for him So, which is it? You met him almost three weeks ago, which according to my calendar is around March 22. Two weeks later you planned a date, for the first week in April. He never called you to cancel. BUT then you said he called you for the past three weeks. So did he call to cancel or not? And if so, why didn't you ask him why he was cancelling or what the deal was? And if he's been calling you for the past three weeks, how have you not talked to him in the past week? Oh, wait, but has it only been since Thursday? It's very difficult for us to give you advice when your post contradicts itself. How long has it been since you've talked to him, and how often was he calling before? I see numerous red flags already, but the thing is, men poof all the time for no apparent reason. It just happens. You met this guy three weeks ago, so you really have no reason to expect him to be constantly calling you at this point in time. Give him time. If you don't hear from him for a week or two, consider him gone and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cutiepieb_25 Posted April 13, 2003 Author Share Posted April 13, 2003 Yeah we met on March 22 and two weeks later we planned a date. See you knew more than u gave yourself credit for. No he never called me to say the date was cancelled. He called me straight for the 3 weeks before we planned the date. I haven't heard from him since April 3rd. So its been about a week now I have not talked to him. If I had talked to him, I would have asked him why he didn't call and why he cancelled but I haven't talked to him. Before this little spell, he was calling me everyday and sometimes twice a day to talk to me. I didn't expect him to but he was the one that suggest he was going to call me everyday. I had suggested that he not call everyday but he insisted. What are the red flags u see from my post? Well another person didn't find my post that difficult. That person managed to give me their opinion. Thanks for responding back and I hope this can help clear of some of the unanswered question or confusion you received earlier again thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted April 13, 2003 Share Posted April 13, 2003 Okay, he's 30 yrs old and "just" moved out of his Mother's house? Yuck. Doesn't sound like he's got his life very straight. Why would you even want to be with a guy who's still living at home at that age? And the second time you talked, he talked about marriage? YEESH! Talk about coming on a little strong, don't you think? You'd be better off investing your time getting to know a guy that age who's independent, lives on his own (and has for some time), has a decent job, has his life sorted out...not this chump. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 13, 2003 Share Posted April 13, 2003 Okay, so you haven't heard from him in ten days. Have you read any John Gray? (Men are From Mars...) He talks about men being blowtorches. Some of them come on very strong in the beginning, and then...poof. Some men like the thrill of the chase and that initial meeting someone, and then they get burned out and move on to the next woman. Why hasn't he called? There could be a million reasons. He met someone else, he got back together with an ex, he's on vacation, he has friends visiting from out of town, he didn't want to go on a date with you...etc. It could really be anything. Red flags? Where to begin? 1. You two planned a date and he stood you up without even the courtesy of a phone call. 2. He is thirty doesn't have a steady job, has no cash, and lives with his mother. 3. Marriage talk in the beginning of the relationship. 4. Calling every day when he just met you. Etc... He's gone. Don't worry about why he's gone, just accept that he is. Men do this all the time. (And so do women!) It's happened to me, to all of my friends, to nearly every woman I know. I know one woman whose boyfriend poofed after two years of dating. He just stopped calling one day. It may have nothing to do with you. It may have everything to do with you. You will never know the answer because he is gone. Don't call his mother anymore to see where he is. Just move on and find someone else. Well another person didn't find my post that difficult. I still don't think your original post makes sense. Your follow up did clear things up, though. Link to post Share on other sites
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