Wife had an affair

[thebetrayed]

I guess to understand wholly what has gone on I have to give some background on the situation.

My wife of 2 years recently admitted to me that she had an affair with one of my best friends.

 

Our relationship had been going badly for quite some time. she refused to be affectionate towards me for over 2 months now, and we have not been intimate in over 3. She has never been an overly affectionate person, but she has never been so cold to me. I saw her drifting further and further into what i saw as depression and watched her getting closer to one of my friends, emailing him, Im'ing him and even calling him on the phone. He had always been there to listen to my problems, and it seemed that is what he was doing for her. Well, she pulled me aside one day and said she needs to get away for a little bit, can she go see (who we will call Joe for anonymity sake) Joe and just get away from the stress she's feeling. I said that she could do whatever she needs to do to try to get back on track. I might add that at this point I thought she was going to leave me, so hearing her say she needed some personal time was a great relief. I voiced a concern that I thought she might cheat on me (she says the topic came up but I said i wasnt concerned.. I brought it up tho.. how could I not be concerned). she was there for 4 days, and I was growing depsondant. I could tell by the very little she let me talk to her, that she was having a great time. when she got home i picked her up at the airport, she seemed even more distant. After we talked a little later that night she said she "had too much fun" while she was out there. and she slept with Joe. I had so many feelings rush me at that moment. I thought at the absolute worst she would say she wants to end this relationship and marriage. but never that she slept with one of my best friends! In talking to her, she has said that he told her everything i ever said to him about her was negative, I know there at the end when she refused to talk to me i was trying to get him to tell me what she was saying, but he said she wouldnt talk to him either, and I was frusterated. I love my wife madly. I know i can rant when I'm frusterated, and say the bad things in my head, but it couldnt have all been bad for the whole time I have known Joe. so now I'm feeling like he is actively trying to turn her against me.

Well the long and short is that she refuses to stop talking to him, and when asked if she loves him she says she cares. She says she loves me, but I think she jsut feels an obligation to our 2 children. She is back at home, and is still talking to joe. laughing with him and playing games online with him. I spent 9 hours alone yesterday while she was in the same house talking with him. She has told me 100 times tat it isnt a decision of him or me, it is a decision of whether or not our relationship can be saved. Its hard to believe that when she is spending all of her time with him, if not physically, emotionally.

I cant give her all the blame. I have not treated her how she should be treated, I was at times verbally abusive (always in frusteration over her lack of trust in me). I even broke down our bedroom door once when she saw a strange number on my phone when she came home after visiting her mom for a couple days. This number was my cousin's new cell but she wouldnt listen to me or call it like I asked her to. she went into the bedroom and locked the door.. I know I shouldnt have done that, but I did and now she says she is scared of what I might do to her. I would never hit her or the kids. And i am terribly ashamed that I knocked the door down. She also told me that she belives I cheated on her when we first started our relationship. this is something she cant get over. 6 years have passed, and she says it still affects her as it back then. I had an old girlfriend who I was still friends with who needed a ride to have an accidental pregnancy aborted, so I went there and had to stay the night since it was out of town and gave her a ride in the morning. she had a friend who could pick her up after so I left.. I wasnt with her for more than 10-12 hours. and we never even so much as hugged. My wife still adamantly belives that we had sex.

back to the present. What do I do now? she lives with me. and I love her too much to put her out on her ass. I still feel like a husband. but I feel like she thinks I'm just a nuisance. we have talked almost every night. but only keep going around in circles. I've told her I would prefer her to stop talking to him, but that I do want her to be happy. If thats with someone else or alone, then so be it. I just need her to make up her mind. Her indecision is killing me. I'm up to 1.5packs of cigarettes a day, up from not smoking. I'm listless and cant focus at work. I know that i'm getting very depressed. Counselling is not an option for her. She is of the school of thought that only crazy people incapable of deciding anything for themselves go to counselors. I'm trying to let her take her time. but I dont know how much longer I can last. What could possibly make this a hard decision for her? How do I move on from her? I've made my entire life rotater around her. I've given up friends, school, and a lot of myself to try to be the man she wanted me to be. I dont know if I could find all that I have lost.

 

and I cant stop thinking about how she told me she cried when she realized she had to come back home. she also doesnt regret having sex with joe, but says she is sorry it hurt me. I've told her that she needs to be ashamed of what she's done. she should regret it. if she doesnt regret it how can she say she still loves me? how can she still wear her wedding ring (shich she was wearing when this happened). I gotta go smoke now...

[justfine]

So sorry to hear about your current marital crisis.

 

 

It's obvious that your wife has no respect for you whatsoever. Personally, infidelity is a deal breaker and she is rubbing in your face.

 

I would suggest speaking to a lawyer and prepare to get a divorce. You do not deserve a wife who openly cheats on you and no longer loves, nor respects you. The faster you come to terms with the inevitable, the better.

 

It's really sad that you've been betrayed by your wife and friend. And the whole thing about your wife saying that you cheated on her is just an excuse to justify her actions.

 

Take control and dump this woman. Spare yourself more misery. Get angry and tell yourself you're no longer going to take this crap.

[sumdude]

I agree with justfine...

 

Take a couple hours, look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself

 

"Why the hell am I putting up with this?"

 

Find your self-esteem, your self respect, find your damn man nuggets!

 

Her staying with you while sleeping with your EX friend is pure torture and you know it. Stop the madness!

 

The trust is so broken how can you imagine continuing a marriage that way? Even if she stops with Joe for the rest of your time together you will always wonder... Could you even believe a promise?

 

Let them have each other. Nothing like a couple backstabbers to have a great future together. You deserve better. She made her choice already so all she needs is a good kick in the butt out the door and take no quarter. I'm sure good 'ol Joe will let her move in right?

[reboot]

You're allowing her to treat you like this. As justfine says, prepare yourself for a divorce. Even if you don't want it you have to be ready. And if you want to save your marriage, her contact with the OM has to stop. Period. Forever. You cannot work on saving your marriage as long as he's in the picture. You need to make sure she understands that. If she chooses him over you and your children, good riddance to her. I realize that's easy for me to say, but the alternative is much uglier. Surely you know you can't live like this and continue to take care of yourself and your family?

 

I know well how badly this sucks, but it's time to man up.

 

By the way, you still refer to this guy as "friend"?

[sumdude]

I've made my entire life rotater around her. I've given up friends, school, and a lot of myself to try to be the man she wanted me to be. I dont know if I could find all that I have lost.

 

You will find that and more... you sound lkike you may have lost too much of yourself to this marriage. Time to take it back. It'll be an uphill march but you commit to yourself that you will rise above this. Do not let HER weakness and moral failings determine your self worth!

[thebetrayed]

you make it sound so easy to just give up, and get angry. to throw her out on her ass. I can't do it. there are 2 small children involved also. If she goes, the kids will most likely go with her. She will move out of state for one reason or another. this will leave me without any children. My current carreer doesnt allow me much time to get away. I only get a couple days every few months at best. If she goes, then I may get to see my kids 1x a year.

 

Also, how do you stop loving someone you have dedicated your entire life to for the past 5 years? How do you change it to anger? and once its anger how do you make her not poison your children against you?

I want this to work out so badly, I can't stop hoping. To stop hoping would be to stop living. it is all i have besides that carton of cigarettes and my kids, but kids are resiliant and can adapt to a new lifestyle.

[thebetrayed]

By the way, you still refer to this guy as "friend"?

I was using the word friend to describe my relationship to him at the time. the only way I want to be friendly to him now involves too much violence to describe here.

[michelangelo]

make sure you file for divorce before she does, and do this in the state you live in.

 

She can't just up and move the kids if you have joint custody.

 

You have more options than you think you do.

 

If you have a demanding job that doesn't allow much flexibility, maybe you have consider getting another job that does allow for it.

 

Hang in there.

[reboot]

Of course it isn't easy. No one here thinks it's easy, even if they might sound that way in a post. They're just giving you the advice you asked for. Many people have already been through this, and are more hardened than you are right now. That doesn't make their advice bad.

 

I, for one, mentioned you trying to save the marriage, but that can't be done until she is willing to do her share. And that will never happen with OM in the picture. Honestly, think about how this is affecting you. I *know* you're hurting beyond your ability to even describe it. How long do you think you can do so? How long till there's nothing left of you?

[sumdude]

you make it sound so easy to just give up, and get angry. to throw her out on her ass. I can't do it. there are 2 small children involved also. If she goes, the kids will most likely go with her. She will move out of state for one reason or another. this will leave me without any children. My current carreer doesnt allow me much time to get away. I only get a couple days every few months at best. If she goes, then I may get to see my kids 1x a year.

 

Also, how do you stop loving someone you have dedicated your entire life to for the past 5 years? How do you change it to anger? and once its anger how do you make her not poison your children against you?

I want this to work out so badly, I can't stop hoping. To stop hoping would be to stop living. it is all i have besides that carton of cigarettes and my kids, but kids are resiliant and can adapt to a new lifestyle.

 

 

Who said it was easy.....it sure as heck isn't. But it's necessary.

 

My ex moved out without warning at the end of January... I was a mess... self image in the tank. I'm still pushing every day to recreate myself but I am rising above it seven months later. Thought there was something else I could do. I kept trying to figure what I could fix, how long I could take it... trying stategies to 'win' her back. Somewhere the hope stayed going ...All for naught. It reallkjy wasn't all about meand what I could do, it was about her and what she was williung to do or not to do.

 

Then one day I realized for her was over long before I knew it.

 

Your wife has already broken the relationship... her feelings for you have been dying for a lot longer than you know. Sure there might be a super slim chance that you two might work it out. But not without some hard core tough love. But I'm going to be honest with you here. You don't want to hear it but if you read enough threads around here you'll realize that once a spouse goes where yours has gone it's usually done. Unless both partners are 100% into fixing the marriage it just isn't going to happen. Either Joe goes away 100% and she commits to the marriage and repair or she's out the door. That's the only way to even consider rescuing your marriage... and it's a long shot.

 

Leaving you waiting for her to 'decide' is just convenient for her right now. Sure she might worry about the kids and feel some mild guilt or remorse. Obvioulsy not much since she doesn't regret sleeping with your buddy.. C.mon... that's just low.

 

Time to take care of YOU! You will need all of your energy and health to get through the next months. I am not kidding you. Get excercise, start a self improvement movement. Detach from her, just leave her alone and let her be. Do you really think it's best for the kids to live in an environment where mommy is schtuppin' daddy's ex best buddy while daddy walks around feeling like a thrown out rag?

 

You and those kids deserve better.

[thebetrayed]

@sumdude

 

Thank you for explaining better. I'm taking the rest of today off and will be looking into a seperation.

I know and have told her over and over that if there is ever going to be a chance of us *TRYING* to work this out she has to commit 100% to it. a "pretty sure" wont cut it. Perhaps if there is anything left, being served with a seperation will jolt her, and if it doesnt.. Well. then maybe it wasnt meant to be.

 

to repeat one of my favorite movie quotes:

"Don't live in regret, ese." -Slim from the movie Bubble Boy (Danny Trejo)

 

I guess i need to try to find that in myself. Thank you for your thoughts and advice.

[IpAncA]

As of right now it's clear she doesn't want the marriage to work. If she did she wouldn't have gone to see him and still maintain contact like she's doing when she got back. And since she doesn't want MC, well I'm sorry but the marriage most likely won't be fixed without one.

 

I agree. Talk to lawyer.

[Gunny376]

You've given this woman everything ~ to include control over your life. She's taken that and she's calling all the shots. She's got you emotionally strung out ~ and now your like a wounded~weakened bear back up into a cave. Your mind is trapped in an illogical matrix, in which you can't see anyway out.

 

You have options and your have choices over what goes on with your life and the lives of your children. You automatically assume that she will get custody of the children and by de facto will only see them once a year.

 

Not so! Women get sole custody of the children ~ simply because 90% of the time men don't contest custrody. But in the 10% of the time they do? They (men) get custody 90% of the time.

 

Even if the scenario you've painted is true ~ you know what that means? That means you'll have to move to where your children are and find yourself a new job. That's what being a parent is ~ scarifice. You might have to take a lesser paying job, you might have to work two joibs ~ but that's what you do ~ you do whatever it takes to make your life work for you.

 

How do you go from 5 years of loving someone ~ to learning how to live your life without them. That's what it is learning. You did just fine before she came into your life ~ you'll do just fine for-ever-the-rest-of-your life without her.

 

This woman doesn't love you! This woman doesn't even respect you! This woman is disrespecting you! This woman is using and abusing you! What are you kidding me~ get rid of her.

 

I don't know what you call what you've got with this woman ~ but it isn't marriage? She's working on your mind. Its all you, you, you!

 

For the Love of God she's practically "doing" hin in front of your face! She not only cheated on you ~ she's virtually doing it in front of your very eyes! There's zero chance of this working out! Because you, yourself are all that's you've got to work with! It takes two to make it, but just one to break it.. By definition you can't be in a relationship/marriage by yourself ~ and that's what you've got!

 

For every door that closes, another one opens ~ that doesn't mean its not going to be Hell in the hallway getting from one door to the next! But its there! You've just got to "man-up" and do what you know in your heart of heart you must do!

[jmargel]

Time for tough love. Not just words. A marriage doesn't work with three people. If you want to work it out, give her the ultamatium. Either NC with this Joe and marriage counseling or you are going for full custody of the kids and she's finding her own place.

 

If you tolerate her behavior it will continue to get worse. Don't roll over and piddle, don't beg, don't grovel. Start doing things on your own, don't be around her while she is talking to this 'friend'. Get on with your own life, don't let her drag you through the mud. Between my own experiences and all the people I have helped on here through the years this is the best advice. Love must be tough is a great book, get it and read it.

 

Show confidence, women love that. Show it within' yourself as well. Go for counseling for yourself this week, setup an appointment. Invite her along, if she doesn't don't sweat it. Go anyways for yourself.

 

Definition of insantity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. It's time to change some things around.

[redfathom]

make sure you file for divorce before she does, and do this in the state you live in.

 

She can't just up and move the kids if you have joint custody.

 

You have more options than you think you do.

 

If you have a demanding job that doesn't allow much flexibility, maybe you have consider getting another job that does allow for it.

 

Hang in there.

 

Agreed. Make sure you have proof of her cheating in case the divorce get's ugly, I would hate for her to use your anger issues as a way to get custody of the kids and try to move them out of state.

 

I am so sorry this happened to you. I know you still love your wife but she did a very horrile thing to you, I have never heard of someone being so selfish.

[Mike1966]

I really feel for you, man. You've gotten some good advice so I don't have much to add. Having the affair would be devastating enough, but to have admitted it, then to live there and rub it in your face is a cruel thing to do.

 

Seek legal advice on the kids, I doubt she can take them out of state, possibly not even away from where you live currently. I believe the laws vary quite a bit from state to state so check it out.

 

Anything's possible, but if your wife has zero remorse after the affair, admitted it to you and is carrying on as she is, it doesn't appear you have too many options other than taking a stand and not letting her trample over you, offer a route to a restored marriage with counseling, if she doesn't accept the offer or at the least agree to stop talking to "Joe" and think it over, your options appear limited.

 

Best of luck.

[IpAncA]

I would hate for her to use your anger issues as a way to get custody of the kids and try to move them out of state.

 

I'm sure that will be brought in and her saying how scared she is to leave her kids alone with him and stuff. I've heard all kind of crap. Just look at that other guy on here's W did. Filed a false claim and got restraining order on him.

[jesslindy]

Betrayed,

 

I know it is impossible for you to fathom that the advice you are being given is right. IT IS!! Read every thread on here if you have to, and it will start to sink in. She has no capability to make this work, and if she ever does it will be too late most likely. All you are doing by allowing this to happen to you is you are letting your self-respect sink further and further in the toilet.

 

Use your pain and anger to propel you forward for YOURSELF and your KIDS!! Be the best father you can be. It will help you. Dont assume you wont see your kids. You have rights in this situation. I will get custody of my son because I truly know that I will stop at nothing to make that happen. You can do the same.

 

She will respect you whether she ever admits it or not if you stand up for yourself and CREATE THE REALITY!! File for divorce. What you are doing now is obviously not going to work. File for divorce so you can protect your assets and your future.

 

I am so sorry you are going throught this because believe me, I've been there and so has every other betrayed spouse on this website. We all understand what you feel. Its worse than death. But someday you will be OK. Its a fact. So in the knowledge that you will be ok someday, the sooner you start heading down the road of gaining your confidence, self-respect, and happiness, the sooner it will start to feel better. I know easier said than done.

 

THERE IS NO CAHNCE OF RECONCILING YOUR MARRAIGE WITH ANOTHER MAN IN THE PICTURE!!! NONE!!! I cant type those words big enough. Create the reality for this woman, it is your only chance. Be the best man you can be, and if she sees it and decides to do the same, than take it from there. Your chances are slim. Sorry to say, I didn't want to beleive it either.

 

Best of luck to you, but in the end it isn't luck, its what you do for yourself and your kids that will get you through this as unscathed as possible. And on the road to recovery. Hang in there!!!

[Gunny376]

Betrayed,

 

I know it is impossible for you to fathom that the advice you are being given is right. IT IS!! Read every thread on here if you have to, and it will start to sink in. She has no capability to make this work, and if she ever does it will be too late most likely. All you are doing by allowing this to happen to you is you are letting your self-respect sink further and further in the toilet.

 

Use your pain and anger to propel you forward for YOURSELF and your KIDS!! Be the best father you can be. It will help you. Dont assume you wont see your kids. You have rights in this situation. I will get custody of my son because I truly know that I will stop at nothing to make that happen. You can do the same.

 

She will respect you whether she ever admits it or not if you stand up for yourself and CREATE THE REALITY!! File for divorce. What you are doing now is obviously not going to work. File for divorce so you can protect your assets and your future.

 

I am so sorry you are going throught this because believe me, I've been there and so has every other betrayed spouse on this website. We all understand what you feel. Its worse than death. But someday you will be OK. Its a fact. So in the knowledge that you will be ok someday, the sooner you start heading down the road of gaining your confidence, self-respect, and happiness, the sooner it will start to feel better. I know easier said than done.

 

THERE IS NO CAHNCE OF RECONCILING YOUR MARRAIGE WITH ANOTHER MAN IN THE PICTURE!!! NONE!!! I cant type those words big enough. Create the reality for this woman, it is your only chance. Be the best man you can be, and if she sees it and decides to do the same, than take it from there. Your chances are slim. Sorry to say, I didn't want to beleive it either.

 

Best of luck to you, but in the end it isn't luck, its what you do for yourself and your kids that will get you through this as unscathed as possible. And on the road to recovery. Hang in there!!!

 

Truer words have seldom been spoken!

 

It matters NOT how you got here ~ IT only matters what you're going to DO about it!

[Ladyjane14]

Actually, Jesslindy's thread might be a good starting point. Here it is...

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t126384/

 

There's presently no impetus for her to reconsider her choices, Betrayed.

But a little bit of the carrot and a little bit of the stick might go along way.

 

So... you don't have to be an a*hole, in fact, it's okay to be downright PLEASANT... but you do have to enforce your personal boundaries. If being married to an actively cheating spouse is a boundary for you... then you need to draw the line there. Otherwise, you end up approving her behavior.

 

See an attorney. Many offer no cost or low cost initial consultations. You don't have to file or move forward with divorce in order to be well informed. It'll probably ease your mind some knowing where you stand. You know, our imagination can sometimes make 'The Worst Case Scenario' into more than what it actually is.

 

Rome wasn't built in a day, and this situation won't resolve itself in a day either. Deep breaths. Calm, cool, collected demeanor. Eat right. Sleep right. Get some exercise. And avoid alcohol. Remember that this situation is temporary. One way or another, it will be resolved and life will move on.

[thebetrayed]

Yesterday I came home early (i couldnt focus at work and if i had stayed I would have just seemed incompetent) Called my Mother to have her pick up our kids. Tried to sort out my thoughts. then went home.

My wife and I talked a little. Then I asked her for her decision on whether she honestly thought that we can go on. She told me that i havent given her enough time and she doesnt know. I told her that there should be no thought. I cant understand her indecision. What does it mean to say "I love you, but I'm not *IN* love with you"? I tried to make her look at herself. "Why do you still wear our wedding ring?". I went on to tell her that I cant be around her, in the same house, if there is no love. (had already become overtaken by emotion at this point). I asked her for her honest answer, first response.. "do you still love me" she said no, and i told her to get out.

 

She left last night, and she took the kids. I havent called her yet, although she has called me 2x.. the phone is actually ringing now so 3x.. the first time was to let me talk to my kids. I assume so they can understand that thier daddy loves them. And thats what I did. told them that i love them and will come and get them soon so we can spend more time together. I did not cry either time she talked to me, although god knows i wanted to break down begging. I am going to try to man-up.. as it is said so many time all over these boards. I had my doubts, but the more I read. The more I wish I had read this site months ago, when things started going bad in the first place.. but no use wondering about "what-if's" "or "If I had only..". I can see that the only hope there is for myself and if there is any hope whatsoever for the marriage left. I've got to become the calm, confident, teflon man I was before I met my wife.

 

I'm trying to look at this as some time for self-betterment, a time to drop all this "depression" weight I've put on, and take care of myself and look out for my children. Strange as it may sound her family is actually trying to achieve the same hopes I have, and they are still supporting her. I'm not calling any of them, except her aunt (who she is staying with) to tell her that I will be sending $200 each week to help differ the cost of her taking on my children.

 

I'm also not answering all my wife's calls. she needs time to cool-off from this too. as I believe gunny said.. Balance is key.. Move on.. Be Happy..

 

I am one of the lucky ones in that I have much older brothers and sisters who have gone through almost this exact thing, each with different results. My brother is all aggressive action, and very fatalistic about chances that my tattered marriage may have.. My sister on the other hand was able to reconcile with her long time and multiple cheating husband, and thier marriage is stronger for all the trials it has suffered. So same situation, different outcomes.. same way of achieving them.. Be strong. Move on. Show them you dont need them to be happy. You can make it on your own.

 

Thank god for this site, and all the people on here who care, and share thier experiences.

 

@LadyJane

Thank you for pointing out that thread. there are some good things there by many of the same people who have posted here. I printed up "Michelle Weiner Davis' list of 180's" and will keep it with me.

Those 34 points are a very clear list of do's and dont's. mostly don'ts. and I will do my best to follow them.

[whichwayisup]

She will move out of state for one reason or another. this will leave me without any children. My current carreer doesnt allow me much time to get away. I only get a couple days every few months at best. If she goes, then I may get to see my kids 1x a year

 

I really hope for the kids' sake she doesn't up and move out of state. That would be extremely cruel and selfish of her to take them away from you. Marriage or no marriage, you two are STILL parents to those kids and she has no right to tear their little innocent lives apart even more by moving away and taking them from you. It's going to be hard enough on them not to have you both under the same roof.

 

If the OM is still around, your marriage doesn't have a chance. He has to be out of the picture. Hopefully with time, she'll figure out that the grass isn't greener and when she wakes UP, she'll do what she can to change her ways and beg for your forgiveness.....That is, if you are willing to give her a second chance to make it up to you and fix the marriage.

 

Sorry for your pain.

[bish]

I cant give her all the blame. I have not treated her how she should be treated, I was at times verbally abusive (always in frusteration over her lack of trust in me).

 

Thats fine and understandable that you'd think that way. But this is no excuse for what she did.

 

What do I do now? she lives with me. and I love her too much to put her out on her ass.

 

To hell with that man. You are being blinded...just like i was. And trust me...in the end, it was better for my well being to kick her ass out.

 

She is a cheater and always will be. You will never be able to trust her again. Let her move in with this other man and tell her to not let the door hit her in that damaged goods of an ass on the way out.

 

Sorry to be harsh, but you need to man up. I know..I know..easier said than done. but in my case I did just that after feeling sorry for myself.

 

I still feel like a husband. but I feel like she thinks I'm just a nuisance.

 

Then get a divorce and let her go to her OM. She can be his problem now.

 

and I cant stop thinking about how she told me she cried when she realized she had to come back home. she also doesnt regret having sex with joe

 

!!!!! god man...just stop right there....what is there to think about? DUMP HER!!!!!

[bish]

Yesterday I came home early (i couldnt focus at work and if i had stayed I would have just seemed incompetent) Called my Mother to have her pick up our kids. Tried to sort out my thoughts. then went home.

My wife and I talked a little. Then I asked her for her decision on whether she honestly thought that we can go on. She told me that i havent given her enough time and she doesnt know. I told her that there should be no thought. I cant understand her indecision.

 

Thats because there is nothing to understand. She is a cheater. If she doesn't know by now what she wants after spreading her legs for another man...then make up her mind for her and have her bags packed and ready to go.

 

Just get rid of her man....I know its hard, but trust me....she is no good for you and you can do better.

[Toolate]

Get rid of this lousy no good cheater. You dont need this crap. ANYTHING you do to her will still not be as bad as what she has done.

 

Booting her out the door is nothing compared to how she betrayed you and your kids. Your marriage, your family, your kids future. Yeah, find someone worth your time.