How do I get over this?

[slynne]

I was cheated on recently, too, by my fiance.

 

It was only a kiss and the yearning and thought of more, but I'm still trying to figure out how to move on. I'm having a lot of trouble with letting go of it. There was a lot there. I was suspicious for a few weeks while they were flirting (often right in front of me), and my fiance treated me like I was nuts. The other woman often acted like she was buddy buddy in front of finace, but the minute that finace was away, she acted as though I wasn't there.

 

I went to a therapist, and the therapist told me that I should just be angry and that I didn't need therapy. My fiance thinks I need psyche drugs, and still talks to the other woman. The other woman wants to continue their friendship and has actually asked my finace if they need me to "chaparone."

 

They both say that they don't want to lose their friendship, but I think that they should have thought about that before. I also feel wrong asking that they don't have contact. As you can tell, I'm having a lot of trouble sorting all this out. Help. (And I want to stay together very badly, so please try to stear clear of "BREAK UP")

 

What are the steps to getting over infidelity?

[Cobra_X30]

How about you start by dumping this jerkoff?

 

He still hangs with the girl? And he says you need psyche meds? What because its all your fault?

[ICallsEmAsISeesEm]

OK, so it's quite clear you want to hold onto this guy no matter how blantantly he disrespects you, diminishes you and degrades you.

 

Check.

 

You've basically got two people treating you like garbage - right in front of your face - and having a great old time laughing about it. How's that working for you?

 

Since you want to hold onto him so bad and NOT heed the warning signs of the speeding train that's coming RIGHT AT YOU, then maybe his suggestion is right about psyche meds.

 

I think your therapist was wrong - you need to explore why you think so firghteningly little of yourself that you're willing to continually be disrespected by your fiance yet still cling to him for dear life.

 

And lastly, the 'steps' to getting over fidelity start with Romeo, your fiance. You know, tThe one that wants to CONTINUE acting like a flaming a*sshole while telling YOU you need medication because you're crazy. One of the first steps in overcoming betrayal is having a REMORSEFUL SPOUSE who wants to do everything in his power to make up to you the pain he caused.

 

Doesn't sound like the fiance gives a rat's a*ss what you're feeling.

 

I'd seriously re-think marrying this guy. Seriously.