It's finally going to be over!

[Ali]

I just wanted to thank you guys for everything. I am so sorry for all of the posts and confusion... I know I am a pain at times. I just love my ex so much and hoped we could work things out. With your help I have finally gotten past the crying, begging, and hating myself period. I still can't help hoping though... that is my next thing to try and get over. Sometimes I feel as if I lose hope then I will lose myself though.

 

Anyway, no matter... it is over. He called twice last night wanting to talk. He said he loved me, and he wants us to date. I said no. I told him I don't even think we can be friends just yet, but maybe in the future. I took all of your advice and was very patient and honest. I was not mean or cruel... I just told him how I felt. I admitted that I loved him and wanted to be with him, but I know it is not what he wants so we both just need to move on with our lives. He seemed upset and said he wants to talk tonight. I don't know why I am doing this but I feel it will help me gain closure. I am just going to reiterate what I told him last night and that is that... no dating and no friends right now. You can's be friends with someone you are still in love with. I just wish I knew exactly what to say to him. I can't help hoping there might still be hope for us in the future... even though that may not be true.

 

What I am struggling with is how do I show him my true feelings and let him go at the same time? I can't be friends with him now or date him, but I don't want to upset him by saying no. I don't want him to think I hate him just because he needs time (if that is the case). I just want him to go and do his thing... and know in his heart that if he finds that he truly wants me and only me that he can come back. I may not be here but he can come back and try. I have no idea how to communicate this to him in the right way? Maybe there is no right way. Maybe I am just rambling again and annoying you all. Anyway, I guess I will figure it out tonight.

 

Anyway, thank you all for the support. I know some of you have been getting fed up lately with my nonsense and I apologize. I love talking to everyone here and giving and receiving advice (when I have any good to give). Just wanted to thank you all for everything and tell you it has helped me a lot.

 

Lots of Love,

 

Ali

 

P.S. I know a lot of you are going through the same thing I am and I don't really know what to say to you. I haven't gotten through it yet but I have really grown up and become stronger. I have taken strides to healing I have read many things that have helped me a lot. I will post a couple of my favorites under "Things that have helped me!" above. I may not be great at giving advice but I have been collecting a lot of sayings and stories that have helped me and I would like to share them with you.

[Loni]

I know exactly what your going through because I have been through the exact same thing myself. And let me tell you from my own experience that if you continue to be constantly there for him and he knows that he wont loose you no matter what he does, it will never get any better. You'll just feel used and miserable. If you really want to feel better you are going to have to stop, calling him, stop returning his calls (at least for 3 or 4 weeks), dont even contact him. He needs to realize that he can loose you if he doesn't treat you right. And as hard as it is, you will have to move on. If he loves you like he says he does, then he will be running back into your arms in no time, if not then believe me, you will find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved (just give it time). Please understand that none of this will be easy, but you will thank me in the long run. Trust me I've been there myself and it worked. Good luck, and remember that before you love anyone else you need to love yourself. Dont let him make a fool of you.

 

again, good luck

 

Loni